Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    "Hairapalooza 2010" at the Decatur High Parking Lot


    Zeke’s retro 80s themed after-school party was off to a pretty inauspicious start.

    Only the ladies from Glee Club had bothered to show. And Zeke knew they were just there to build the college transcipt.

    But then Lonnie, an art school aspirant with indeterminant sexual orientation, also showed up.

    But Lonnie was only there because he’s writing the whole thing up for the school paper, “The Razor.”

    So Zeke was pretty bummed.

    But he decided to rock out anyway.

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    Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    Carl Would Like to Blow Someone for a Drink


    Sunny would like to know what kind of car you drive.

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    Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    Wednesday Limerick


    In Brooklyn there’s Hipsterbag Marty,
    Who wears ‘beaters to a Williamsburg party,
    He hits on Paola,
    Who sells homemade granola,
    Then tells her in his pants he did sharty.

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    Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    Poppin’ Bottles, Droppin’ Pants


    So I get that this choadtaint with the double straw mandana and douche-tags has decided to drop trou for the boozy bar wenches.

    But can someone theorize what possible attractions could be drawing the crowd to the far corner over this spectacle before us?

    Donkey show?

    Live chicken beheading?

    Or are they simply turning away in disgust?

    And yes, this is last November’s “Red Tony.” I was gonna link, but all my old pics are still offline until the new server is up.

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    Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    Douche-Face of the Beholder


    I’m still creeped out by that ending of that old Twilight Zone episode, when the doctors revealed their faces and we learned it was the woman who was beautiful, and the doctors who were Jersey douchebags.

    That was a good twist.

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    Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    Yuri From Brighton Beach

    What a country!

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    Tuesday, March 30, 2010

    Absolut Douche


    Yeah. Not sure about the new ad campaign, Absolut.

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    Tuesday, March 30, 2010

    Sweet Home Alabagma


    Where the guys are so poo…

    EDIT: In the comments threads, bagnonymous traces the origins of this pic to the celebration of a traditional Doucheish holiday:

    —-
    These choads have emblazoned their chests with the Mark of the Douche in observance of the holy day, Assover.

    Assover coincides with the anniversary of HCwDB, a day in which baghunters collectively wipe their asses on tattoo-graphic-printed tees, a form of ironically mocking the shit-stains who actually wear such shirts. Aware of this trend against their people, though, Douches worldwide began to emblazon their shirts with the Mark of the Bag–a shit-stain of sorts–as a mark to the ‘baghunters to skip their shirts. A sort of, “Yo, don’t shit-stain me, Bro!”, if you will.

    This holy day is commonly celebrated by practicing traditions such as “Pass the STD”, a game in which dudes outnumber the whobags by 50%, and yet somehow everybody gets laid. Other games include “Don’t Peek into the Gloryhole”, which requires the use of protective eyewear (as seen in the photo), as well as “What’s in My Red Cup? F*ck It I’ll Drink it Anyway.”
    —-

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    Tuesday, March 30, 2010

    Joey Lipps


    Joey Lipps knew the ragin’ frat kegger wouldn’t be complete without his pink balloons.

    Tina may be, like, so wasted. But the bustier is 19th Century class, so don’t forget it. Tina was a big fan of Sense & Sensibility in 5th grade.

    And a special shout-out to RareAss Yellow Cup, who hasn’t been spotted in months.

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    Tuesday, March 30, 2010

    Guyliner Jack


    Nothing says settling into mid 40s doughy middle age quite like the slit t-shirt and the guyliner.

    Sorry Jack.

    Jenny’s award winning curves are Paid-to-Pose only.

    No, not even if you pull your patented flippy spin move. That worked so well back in college in ’87.

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