Tuesday, March 30, 2010

    HCwDB Turns Four!!!


    Happy birthday fellow hunters and huntresses, mockers and boobie hottie suckle thighs!

    I was hoping to have your birthday gift ready (the new site), but alas, the going is slow when the tech team is drunk.

    But soon. Soon, mocking mandanas and lusting for cleavite will go to the next level.

    Or maybe it won’t.

    Hell if I know anymore.

    Either way, we’se four.

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    # posted by admin
    Monday, March 29, 2010

    When Frat Parties Go Wrong

    After the physics conferences are over, and their papers on Quantum Mechanics and the variations of string theory have been presented, Willy and Sharlene like to unwind.

    In the boiler room of a Turkish waystation and part-time torture chamber.

    Meanwhile, Joey and Pete celebrate their limited futures.

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    # posted by admin
    Monday, March 29, 2010

    Willy Has a Thought


    “If dark matter is made of neutrinos, then our universe’s entropic expansion may be accelerating faster than previously thought.

    And my mandana, hat and glasses may look way stupid. but Sharlene digs it.”

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    # posted by admin
    Monday, March 29, 2010

    Where’s Sorority Girl?

    Somewhere in this lineup of fresh squeezed, taint filtered juicedouche, I’ve carefully hidden one, maybe two, Sorority Girls.

    Look closely.

    Can you see their fathers weeping and rending their garments and cursing Ganesh?

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    # posted by admin
    Monday, March 29, 2010

    Frankie the Greasehead Gets His Gall Bladder Checked

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my many days traversing the globe as a spice runner, anthropologist and part-time pimp, it’s this:

    Gall bladder tongue removal just isn’t sanitary.

    No, not even in Tijuana.

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    # posted by admin
    Monday, March 29, 2010

    No HCwDB of the Week This Week

    Regular voting will resume next week.

    Instead, I’m giving Antonio and Vanessa, a coupling of classic Jerz Guid, an honorary HCwDB of the Week.

    Because bra popping out of low cut white tanktop is about as douchebaguette as it gets for Vanessa.

    And Tony busts toxic eyebrow sculpt, Ed Hardy 10 Degree Hat Tilt, and the bizarre white belt substitute phallus trend that we’ve been tracking for a year now.

    But props to the Snack Shack on the Long Island shore for maintaining such quality health standards on their floor.

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    # posted by admin
    Sunday, March 28, 2010

    Questionable Self Portrait #561


    At what point does a douche, at 2am with his sorority hott half drunk and sloppy, think “now would be a great time for a mirror self portrait”?

    And who gets a tatt of Archimedes on their upper arm area?

    Yup.

    More random questions as the DB1 sits around on a Sunday and hopes his tech team decides to help get the new site back online today. So far, no luck.

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    # posted by admin
    Sunday, March 28, 2010

    How to Seduce Women: The Push-Pull Technique

    Remember kids, “consistently tease her while giving her compliments.” Works every time!

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    # posted by admin
    Saturday, March 27, 2010

    Euro Crud at a Florida Old Folks Home


    Note to Euro Douches:

    There is one, and only one, instance in which the low cut pec-reveal shirt is acceptable. And it is pictured here.

    Otherwise, unless you’re chasing down terrorists for kidnapping your daughter, button it up, greasyfreak.

    Belinda, you make the duckface and my soul dies a tiny bit.

    But since Grampa Al forgives you, I will too.

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    # posted by admin
    Saturday, March 27, 2010

    The 2010 Tax on Orangeness

    One thing we can all agree on about the new healthcare bill:

    The Orange Tan Tax is a nice blow to douchal narcissism.

    Between this and last month’s pollution penalty levied on the makers of Axe Bodyspray, the first serious pushback on douchal product has kicked into overdrive. And not a moment too soon.

    Now if only we could tax douchey-ass frosted tip spikey hair.

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    # posted by admin
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