Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Europeans, Teenagers and Shoe Polish
Some days I just should’ve stayed in bed.
Or punched a kitten in the nadsack as existential retribution for the God that isn’t.
Either one.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Go directly to the Closet of Poo! Do not pass go, do not collect $200….
Holly crap!
The next time you see that couch it will be on the curb in front of the apartment complex with a “Free – Not a blood stain” sign on it.
I just spent an hour breech-loaded in a stuffy hot MRI, fighting off claustrophobic panic attacks.
.
But now after seeing…..this…..I think I’ll drive back there and crawl back in until I die.
.
Goodbye Sober Day; Hello caked-on shinola.
@ Scrotato:
.
Good call. Thousands of years hence that sofa with its ghostly burnt umber body print will be known as the Shroud of Turden.
Truly spectacular! He may have that one guy from about a year ago beat who looked like Al Jolson.
How is it he managed to orange his lips and nostrils, but failed to blend in the hairline? His mirror must only go up to his forehead.
Eeeeegads!
.
European’s still love their chimney sweepers.
$20 says he missed his asshole and under-ball area. When he bends over it probably looks like a fecal supernova.
Billy learned the hard way that you need 2 weeks of classes and proper certification before you can put on a fireworks show.
.
To the Closet of Poo with him.
.
It soon became apparent after the surgery that Dr. Feinstein mistakenly attached the young lad’s bile duct to his lower colon.
Woo hoo! Female boobie grope!
Closet of poo my ass.
.
To the Foyer of Poo with this one.
At least the blondies look like they’re about to barf. I can’t blame them.
Tiny blonde hot is burying her nose in boobies to avoid the stench of the poo man. Poo Man= worst super villian ever.
There are three lesbians in this picture. And we all know which one is the human butt plug during their saphic trysts.
Poo Man’s mission: buzz kill all lesbian experimintation.
You CAN”T use the “D” word. Only WE can use the “D” word.
Damn I spel good.
Jesus, he’s not orange, he’s fucking purple.
Hello melanoma!
I like booobies
I was gonna ask if that’s a guy or a gal but instead I want to know if it’s even human
Hahhhaa this can’t be real, right? Where does the DB1 find these ‘people;’ dircetly to the Closet of Poo, for sure.
hehehe…shroud of turden
I think DB1 uncovered the only known picture of Dark Sock.
I also think the picture reminds my of fatal automobile accident, whereas you have to look but you move on.
Hey Dicy,
Check the last thread
WTF is going on in this picture? No matter, and no time for answers. Since fire clearly won’t rid the world of this blight, it looks like it’s finally time to put the Sexy, Sexy Ice Gun to use.
It took a while, but eventually Anja and Greta realized they were sitting next to the masked, but inanimate corpse of Slipknot bassist Paul Gray.
.
.
.
.
What, too late?
Wow. I see nothing good in this picture.
It does not suprise me that those two not-hott women look like they’ve just seen The Living Shit (“Living the dream!” TM) using his superpowers to bring the off-campus house party to a smelly end.
he has had one too many prune colodas
We don’t have to put him in the closet of poo, as he is already there. His name just asn’t shown up at left yet. He’s so orange, he evades standard Plank Time frequency, and is now in a higher dimensional space time. So, we see him as outside the closet of poo, but in fact, the moment the camera was taken he was in the closet of poo – DB1 just hasn’t moved him there yet in order to fulfil what has already happened.
Yeah – confusing. Dicy and Scrotato prolly get what I’m at with this.
“Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.”
“Can’t do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?”
this photo should prompt a thorough investigation by the authorities…
Plinky’s mom crapped on that sofa
Somebody ought to kick the shit out of that guy just because.
Can we put him the basement of poo?
So that we never see him again.
Ever.
Please?
flush it down, stat
maybe Dungeon of Turds?
I’m not so sure that he “missed” the top of his forehead. I think that’s an indicator level of some sort to let us know that he almost has reached the maximum for his shoe polish enema.
The Dungeon of Doody?
@ Dr. Richard Goesinyou:
If someone “kicked the shit” out of him then he’d be invisible…that would be even worse.
The Cellar of Crap.
He’s got so much tanner on when he poops he wipes away the bright spots.
He’s got so much tanner on his white Honda Civic turned orange through osmosis.
He’s got so much tanner on his piss has gravy skins in it.
Wow, first Michael Jackson went from being a black man to a white woman. And now we’ve got a white guy trying to do the opposite. I hope all that world ending in 2012 stuff is for real.
He’s got so much tanner on his blood type is oxblood
The Basement of Bowel Movements?
This explains why my mother would never buy me that chemistry set when I was a boy.
And on his forehead is the Mark of the Colostomy ‘Bag…..
No one thought that they would find anyone left after the explosion at the paprika factory, but somehow Billy defied the odds.
To the colonic catacombs with him.
That reminds me, I need to buy a plunger. Thanks DB1!
The Foyer of Feces.
@Troy
Ah yes, I believe you are referring to the Heisenberg Certainty of Poo Principle.
The Stairway To Scat.
Plinky’s mom’s butt plug
Now just what the HELL is going on here?
(done in a Lee Marvin voice)
This out of all the douchie things dudes do takes the cake. Who is to blame for this horrific look? I scratch my head every time I see these turds.
Cindy looked over at her scratch-n-sniff boyfriend and fell further into the black abyss of teen despair.
That’s racist, dog.
I call the hall of poo for you.
Gay Poo Elf and his reluctant associates. You can really feel their pain.
You have to admire for one thing: they didn’t listen to anyone who begged them to stop with the spray tanning. And there were people who begged, I have no doubt.
ugh…that’s what happens when you eat lots of fibre. You shit on the couch when you least expect it
I finally got it…the picture…2 girls 1 cup?
^ BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
.
With friends like him, who needs enemas?
Highway to felch.
Another bad case of Monkey See, Monkey Doo.
Or is it Two Girls One Crap?
I think even Scotchguard is f*cked with this one.
@ G
that is the is the best possible comparison ever… Ever!
@Dicy/Troy
I’d also look at an alternative formulation using Scrotinger’s Equation:
ih (d poo / dt) = H poo
..
Basically it says that the rate of change of poo with respect to time is actually dependent on the amount of poo (technically the Humiltonian operator on poo which is the sum of the choad and the greasiness crossed with the amount of poo). So as the amount of poo in the world goes up so does the rate of poo generation. Not only that but the more choady and greasy the specimens spawned the faster the generation of new abominations. I am sure you can do the math – it means we are fucked and it is time to start drinking more heavily than usual.
^ just to add to the equation, as dt approaches 0, H poo approaches infinity, and the couch scrote’s anus swallows itself, causing a blackhole to form, sucking in all that is bleethe…we can only hope for this apocolypse…
Thanks Bag, however, didn’t take long to come to that conclusion based on the pic…
@ Scroteophobic
.
So you’re saying that poo is an eigenvalue? And if so, does it form a complete set? I’m only asking so I know whether to go to the pub straightaway or if I can drink at home. Mmmmmm…McEwan’s Triple Stout
Fuck it, then. Let’s bomb Norway.
Go directly to the Closet of Poo! Do not pass go, do not collect $200….
@Scroteophobic
I like you’re theory. What do your calculations tell you about the divergence of poo? And how will this affect the Maxwell equations? Clearly there are poo monopoles (Stackhouse) that need to be taken into account. We need to formulate a continuity equation too so that if one ever comes into contact with poo, we can apply the correct boundary conditions to learn how quickly the poo will infect and thus how much one should drink to forget the event.
What. The. Fucking. Fuck.
And I always thought, “he’s so black he’s navy blue” was just a bigoted joke.
-
Did you just get back from Mercury, burn boy?
“Shake it, but don’t break it. I’m a macaroni. I don’t think we’ll get past the cops.”
“We’ll get by the cops. I just hope we don’t run into any Muslims.”
What. The. Fuck.
Hard to take this douche seriously with that polyester pink shirt and the 3D glasses….Wait, he is throwing up a gang sign? Now I am scared.
What a gorgeous tan!
at least he isn’t sunburned
Uh, is this George Hamilton’s cabin boy?
Did the Coppertone Girl slip in when no one was looking?
I was gonna say that is the most outstanding Mark of the Douche I have ever seen, but on second thought, he probably got teabagged because that shape is of the most generous balls and sideway dick to make its mark on a foreskin, er, forehead.
Oh, and he must have borrowed his hair from a blue merle collie.
oompa loompa? is that ye?
Why is its skin a darker shade of red than its eyes?
Its like the horrid love child of Hellboy and Yasmin Bleeth… where is Rasputin when you need him.
I recall the first appearance of Poopaloompa – not so much for the sheer audacity and fright, but for the very first comment on that thread. It’s a shame I can’t properly credit the poster, but the comment resonates with me. It is, I believe, verbatim:
.
“What the hell happened to men?”
.
Indeed, that comment is fitting here as well. He/she who first posted that comment, please step forward and accept my gratitude.
if your anal pap test comes back that color, the doctor calls in a BP engineer about doing a junk shot with gorilla glue and golf balls under the failed blow out preventer, sealing the well head with a “top hat”, and drilling another hole on an angle.
I heard that the sole survivor of that terrible plane crash in Libya was one Dutch boy.
.
This must be him.
.
Too Soon?
@Dr Bunsen/Dicy
I am afraid that every test I can think of says that poo is an unbounded set. Every time you think you have defined its limits something worse comes up. Div(choad) is positive as is its derivative. There is only one logical and horrific end state. Eventually the Earth, Solar System and finally whole universe will get swole and bronze up. If you look at Jupiter you can see it starting – all those brown streaky lines of fake tan over white…
Hang on a minute… Dicy gave me an idea. We can put poo in a strong EM field and then sub in the Pooli matrices. Solving through we get a result analogous to that of Dirac which was used to predict antimatter. Do you see what this means? There must be anti-poo! Somewhere out there are particles that can be used to totally annihilate poo. To convert it to energy (clean energy at that). Get me a grant, 100 grad students and some time on the LHC, stat. We have a major breakthrough to make.
Didn’t know that third degree burns were popular nowadays