Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday Limerick
George glares like he’s true Gangsta Bra’,
While Bald Guy enjoys a Stella Artois,
Tough Guys on the Island,
They’re big fans of Scott Weiland,
While Francoise and her boobs like Foie Gras.
Yup. Just remembered why I don’t do more of these things. Take your best shot (and blow mine away) in the comments threads.
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Boobs. Also, Bald Guy kind of looks like the lead singer in an REM tribute band . .
Shiny happy douchebags posing . .
Meet me in the crowd
Douchebag douchebags
Show your tatts around
Pos-ing, pos-ing
Tan is fake brown
Douchey douchey
Put it in Jersey Town
Where the guidos grow
Gold and silver chains
Stopped here due to copyright considerations, and that I’m lazy and unimaginative.
There once was a gay ‘bag in the back.
He loved George, and hated the girl with the rack.
He tried as he could,
To not get wood.
But George’s spikey ‘do made his schlong react.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
There once was a pretend rocker
Who liked to throw the shocker
The girl with the rack
Knew music skills he did lack
So he decided to tell everyone he plays soccer
Douchebag gang signs like a newbie,
He saw it once in a movie,
While the baldy in back,
prepare a small snack,
My eyes are transfixed on some boobies.
Glance into the life of a choad
Flashing last century’s cool guy code
She’s removing his hand
In a gesture most grand
His breath smells like a huge canine load
I like the view of the camera
That cleavage makes me shout out ‘Hoorah!’
But the Douche with the shocker
Is a real cock-blocker
So lets get this to Photoshop, lah-ti-dah!
Buffalo Beast takes a pee
With a cocck that hangs down to his knees
With a turn to his left
He was surprisingly deft
And he killed all of the dickcheese
That douche has a gi-normous watch
Its weight on his skin must leave a blotch
But his Hott has a rack
That has taken me aback
So fuc him with a kick in the crotch!
A Seth Green look alike most slimey
With his Michael Stipe boyfriend, a Limey
If I pose in this way
Mom won’t find out I’m gay
That I take the big one up the hiney
This douchebag prepares his best shocker
But the hott has become a cockk blocker
So the douche must wait
Until she slinks away
So he can give baldy in his hairy prodder.
Douche with no hair gets irate
As Red with the mams steals his date
He’s resign to go home
And be all alone
And use tweezers to masturbate.
Her smile and cans say Vixen.
His sign and watch say ‘Dick’s On’
So I would steal her away
For a roll in the hay
And bury him alive right next to Nixon.
Fingers flash, with no ring and no thumb,
As he reaches to pull out Red’s plums.
Baldy looks on with wide eyes
‘Cause he found the surprise,
Those two fingers broke off in his bum!
A big tittied Hilary Swank
Makes you want to pull it out and crank
This douche ballon knot
Really fucks up the shot
Hope that dude in the back has a shank
She sports such a fine set of cleavage
Causes erectile functioning seepage
Now I’m stuck at my desk
With a lap full of mess
Guess I’ll clean it up with my sleeve edge.
ballon= balloon,…. yeesh , proof read ya boob
Unemployment has made me a savant
with the Limericks and Haikus that I want
So I write many tricks
In hopes DB1 picks
For front page fame to rant (<< say it like Thurston Howell)
This couple poses without even knowing
That behind them Baldy’s seeds are a sowing
All over their backs
Baldy’s semen attacks
The smell leaving bag’s weenus a growing.
Behold the sweet red-headed vixen
I’d love to get quite a few licks in
But then pfah appeared
And the vest douche, he reared
Then the blood drained from my stick pin
Rosary beads show he’s a nice guy
But the shocker does show that he’s sly
But a bag is bag
And her boobs don’t a sag
Though her cleavage it maketh me cry
“I run with the Goose” says this choad
While gargling bald douche’s load
“I’m just here for the beer”
Says Red with a sneer
“And you’ll never touches these you toad.”
.
.
Fuckk that last line was lame.
Douchebag sports a watch that is huge
To accent the fact he’s a stooge
And likely for free
He’ll say “yes please”
To gargling with another man’s spooge.
There once was a spike-haired testicle,
Who’s anus was a semen receptacle,
While the bald guy named Ken,
Starts to pummel him again,
They ignore the near-perfect chesticles.
“Gargling” being the theme today, eh Doc?
Brunette has a fine set of tittays
That stir my loins in a good way
I want to motorboat
And finish on her throat
Until she told me to please go away.
With cheeks full of spooge he doth say
“No really, It’s not that I’m gay”
But Baldy he knows
That the douche does but blows
at The Toolbox bar glory hole all day.
.
@ Crucial
I guess “great” minds think alike?
Douchebag’s look is cocky and smug
While he hopes hott takes date-rape drug
But she’ll spit it out
And leave him to pout
And be consoled from behind by man-hug.
A redhead with huge plastic tits
met up with a couple of twits
she offered her digits
they started to fidget
’cause chicks with no dicks are the pits.
Baldy whistles a tune
While eating porch beef with a spoon
For he knows that it’s true
His friend’s balls will be blue
‘Cause he’ll never get close to her poon.
Brunette makes me want to jack off a pet
She best warn her gardener I’m not the Vet
But the dog will be fine
Once I’ve milked his slime
For her I’d do it and never regret.
In the line forming outside the spa
Giant bolt-ons that needs them no bra
Say that three times fast
As you tickle her ass
And your cockk juice explodes a “Hurrah !”
I see a familiar face
he’s the dude from that show ‘Will And Grace’
Whoopie! He’s gay
now get out of the way
I’ll have that chick squirting like mace
Boobies, tits, knockers, milk bubbles
hooters, gazongas, D-Doubles
mommy bags, rack
jubblies, kid snack
my drawers are all wet, I’m in trouble.
I’d tear her up like miles of bad road
And I know where I’d aim my load
When it’s out and spent
It’ll meet at the tangent
Of those huge globes of which she’s bestowed
While hanging backstage at the show
Francesca was all smiles aglow,
For she knew she was blessed
With a really nice chest,
As confirmed by a guy she doesn’t know.
A blowup of this pic will reveal
what looks like a bottle of blue with the d-bag heal
What is that drink?
It may as well be pink!
And sorta makes me wanna ki-ill
Crucial Head with fingers so nimble
Can make a dog cum in a thimble
Baldy calls out “I’m next”
As he pulls down his kecks*
But his tiny cockk was imperceptible.
.
.
* = I can’t believe I had to resort to Scottish slang. Kecks are slang for underwear.
A choad way less cool than Kip Winger
Scored a hott that’s a real humdinger.
Too bad that she’s gotta
Vagina dentata.
Now he’s missing a thumb and a finger.
Medusa 12:45 for the win!
Makes me want to commit carnal sin
Watching Medusa and hott
Eat each other and whatnot
I’d explode into a lotioned napkin.
She smiles like what she really wants is me
As if into her butt I could pee
But that would stir Mr. White
and could lead to a fight
So let Mr. White pee, I agree.
Alice went to community college
To further her quest for knowledge.
There she met Chad,
who lives off his dad
A douche in eternal vassalage.
Word of the day, look it up.
Baldy in the back seems bewildered
That the douchebag leans off-kilter
‘Cause Baldy had douche ass
And hit it hard with no class
And thought the roughness would’ve kilt ‘her’
Medusa doth long for the beaver,
With her musings of lesbian fever.
With those thoughts I have spurt,
All my baby yogurt.
For a 3-some with them I’d be eager!
Baldy’s O-face is quite unnerving
Looks like he’s in the midst of perving
Seeing ‘bags from the back
Makes him want to whack
His wiener while covert observing.
A douchebag named DJ Ice Gecko
Plied a hottie with beer and Prosecco.
But it turned out his Venus
Had a fourteen inch penis
And now his farts make their own echo.
This story of a Vixen with a chest
Hit upon by a douchebag in a vest
Is perplexing I dare say
because he looks oh so gay
Maybe this is simply a jest?
A vest with a t-shirt, c’mon!
You look and smello like a prawn
Don’t fritter away
The rest of the day
Now get back to cutting my lawn.
smello????? How about only “smell”
On her necklace it appears that there’s a ‘Z’
And while you think ‘Pee’, my story will use Wii
Cause she is Zena warrior princess
carrying a chest of excess
Oh, all right, call in Mr. White for the Pee
Medusa sidles up and says “Hello”
To Red whose boobs shake like Jell-O
“Now that I’m here,
Let’s ditch the queers.
Now’s not the time to be mellow.”
Those breast make me want to fwap soon
If I don’t, I’ll turn into a goon.
I’d hit on Mrs. Doucheifelt
With my all, my everything, including my belt
But her headache would put a stop to my swoon.
@ Dr B HD
.
A douche leans in and offers “Hello”
My you’ve a lovely smello
Two fingers of slit
The other of shit
“I just banged this chick!” he doth bellow
Sorry, I’m distracted by her boobage. Can’t rhyme right now.
@ Vin
.
I knew somebody with a keener intellect than mine could find a use for “smello”.
1:03 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78RncIR35Lk
Do you think 10 Limericks is a bunch?
After all, it is barely a bit past lunch
But red hair and tits
Are my two favorite hits
So I will write of her, if I can’t have her to munch
At a hostel in some Chzech republic
Dane Cook murdered the crowd with his lame shtick
She said “You no amuse
Bald guy now must abuse
For he’s paid us to saute your limp dick”
there once was a puppet named Troy
Who’s a fine and good wooden boy
Until a day full of slack
He gazed at this rack
And splurted a spooge ball of joy.
She’s got a crazed look in her eyes
that says “Guys are the ones I despise”
But I’d still take a chance
To get into her pants
And happily die b’twixt her thighs
When Medusa says she’s got a wet snatch
My testicles brew up a new batch
I’d happily spurt
If she’d lift up her skirt
And show me the shine on her pink hatch
.
[Said with the utmost love and respect for Medusa.
.
And her pink hatch which is probably candy apple red.]
These douches are with the boy band “Big Ups”
and they hath no experience with d-cups, yet
they move in for the kill sensing tang to swill, get rejected and suck eachothers nuts.
The red head with tits on display
Waits on tables at clubs for good pay
The last thing she wants
Is for crusty-haired cunts
To beg for her fine legs to splay
Bald Guy could take George,
two out of three falls,
and steal Francoise away,
but he’s already had her,
and will leave George in the dark,
that he’s actually having sloppy seconds.
“Me an’ Vin want you between us”
The ‘bag said to this young Venus;
They DP’ed all night
and though she was tight
They were wailing on each other’s Weenus
“Yo, Red, I’m gone be yo’ FireStarter”
Was the line dropped by this poop-sharter
But in the background stood Frank
Coveting his buddy’s meat crank
And wishing his pal was a PipeFarter.
I can’t believe it – this douche looks like he’s Lee Harvey Oswald’s long-lost love-child !
But in this case he’s assasinated good taste & decency.
Stella Artois is kinda douchey, but i don’t think bald guy is refined enough for even Stella Artois.
everyone’s leaving at the sight of these two.
but bald guy lingers, because he is poo.
there is nothing wrong
with Arianna’s gongs.
the douche is just too strong. weep and rue.
Little Grieco mugs in his vest,
Whilst pointing The Shocker at breast,
Michael Chiklis in back,
After smoking some crack,
May the bitch use my semen like Crest.
I speak f’r not only meself
When I say the arse pear is top shelf
But when I be in a rut
I say “Butts make me nuts”
An’ Oi become a ‘orny li’l elf!
.
.
.
OK, it sucked but gave me a great excuse to post—–oh who am I kidding? Excuse? Since when have any of us required excuses?
Thanks Wheez- Now HTF do I turn worksafe mode off- I work from home so is always safe!!!!!!!!!!!
Anthony L
I too share your pain. Blue toggle switch at screen bottom.
A day after the rhymes have been written
Big-boob-hott still has people smitten
but still I do fear
that the douche in the rear
did not find a toilet to shit in
@Anthony, 6:53 a.m. -
.
I see ‘em, too – I think our ‘baghunter pal Vin might be a member of the site, though. I would guess that paying members get to see those pics…..and I’m a tightwad.