Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday Limerick
In a small town, a barback named Steve,
Did develop his “two handed heave.”
The ladies did party,
While Steve wore Ed Hardy,
Until his toup revealed it was a satiny weave.
Meh. I’m rusty. I need a coffee.
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In a sordid and rank party scene
all the world did become tangerine
out came the Grey Goose
the pussies got loose
and the orange girls got filled with cream
Orangina, why do you do this to me?
A douchie double-fist pump,
From a Billy Idol-ish hump,
Roused Carmen and her Spanish queens.
Billy prematurely stained his jeans,
Carmen said “pshh, they let anyone in this dump.”
I heart Tuesday limerick! I have a chance!!
.
The orange quintet wore a smile
but lurking behind all the while
in a shirt white as yeast
was Buffalo Beast
who clearly thinks this party vile
This party’s so lukewarm, even the fan is turned off.
The accessorized douchebag says, “‘Sup?”
To the bevy of hotts he would shtup.
He likely deals coke
But this bar is a joke–
They can’t even afford a red cup!
The party girls had just been let in
past the velvet rope of Orange din
But they did not know
that they were required to pose
with this douche of all green satin sin
Huge fan cools the scene so horrid:
A scrotewad with arm-bling most florid;
His Jersey Shore looks
Attract wannabe “Snooks.”
Note the Mark of the ‘Bag on his forehead.
There once was a room full of gayz
Who’s skin was the color of maize.
They fist pumped all night
To Paco’s delight
They never grew out of this phase.
The scene is not for the confused:
of ‘baggery, Steve is clearly accused.
But he’s scrote all the way
and with hotts he wants to play
though Juan Largeman is clearly not amused.
The hotts, wanting innocent fun
Once “girls night out” had begun
Did pose with The Steve
A coke dealer skeeve
Run, you deluded hotts, run!
Of all tacky crap one could wear
To complement douchey spiked hair–
Green kerchief and spikes?
I pray they’re all dikes!
Orange you glad you’re not there?
That choad took accessorizing too far
Somewhere he has a tat in the shape of a star
With his putzy grin
and the fung on his chin
Let’s hope he gets hit by a car
A V.I.P. room in Tijuana
Reeks like yesterday’s marijuana
In a douchebag cartel
I’m a fag! Steve does yell
While Paco makes plans for a slaughter
Hollywood hills I’m a star
Pimpin my girl group ‘From Afar’
Im bringin it BIG
So lite up a cig
and buy my ho’s drinks at the bar
Stay tuned for the next exciting adventure of “Tom-Tang and the Twisted-Titties of Tuscany”
There once was a Douchebag from Limerick
Who had a lime green bandana gimmick
The hotts gathered ’round
as Daddy looked on
only to later exclaim he has a small prick
Steve looks a little bit goofy.
The hotts had slipped him a roofie.
He was a late for his date
Cause his fuckking brother Nate,
A doctor had cut off his coock.
Six chicks with some bad sprayed-on tan,
Were partying with a douchebag named Dan.
The bleethy half-dozen
Had no fear of lämp’s cousin,
Till they were all chopped to death by the fän.
^what?
Boss, can you confirm whether this is one-half of the crustie brothers as seen here:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/10/hcwdb-of-the-week-the-crustie-brothers-and-karen-and-sue/
I like the hottie in black with the hoops
I keep dreaming of her, and me, and our shtups
But then there’s the ‘Bag,
With the scarf of a fag.
Making my Johnson stand down…oh… hell… “whoops”.
So much orange!
In a bar just outside of Moscow
Ivan is just chillin’ right now
The one on our right
Might just blow him tonight
But her name is Georgy…oh wow.
Medusa 11:37 FTW
Amir looked on in disgust and disbelief: he couldn’t believe that Mahmoud’s retarded “That’s my biggest fan.” line worked five times in one night.
A ‘bag with Grey Goose halitosis
Plied his harem with cocktails and roses.
But the ladies were sad
When they found out he had
A dick not as big as their noses.
Here at work I look at douches with hotts
I would rather be at home eating tater tots
Arm Bandbag wants to point out
That he sharted in his pants while giving a shout
I need a 4 Lokos and a hit of some pot
.
.
.
That’s all I got. Good night!
Flaccid, posturing poo
Hanging with his crew
To hit on these chicks
He tried some tricks
And his opening line was, “Groooo.”
The bleeths who were all painted orange
their legs open wide like a door hinge
The douchebags were caught
with their cocks in bleeth twat
and wandered off, drunk, on a whore binge
Yeah. Rhyming with ORANGE. In your FACE bitches.
Whats up with the orange in this view?
Its like the Bag sharted a cloud of pew.
But no one is gagging
And only ‘green scarf ‘ is bagging
Alas I have no catchy close, there are few.
I’d still like to show her my Wank
I’m talkin black shirt and knee-highs to be frank
She has that look of come hither
Which makes previous vows wither
So, how can I find her to crank?
Does the hottie in front hold up
her bunched panties in hand? That’s a yup!
Whatever she was doing
looks to me like screwing.
S’cuse me, I’ve got to find Mrs. R and Shtup!
DarkSock must have peed on everyone in this pic.
what else can explain that glowing yellow slick?
enjoy your night,
you urine-stained blights,
before you start filming those urine fetish flicks.
Not a lass in the picture went home alone
For off a car bumper they could suck off the chrome
What with their questionable talent
And consorting with men who aren’t gallant
One only ends up performing a rusty trombone
Isn’t that one of the Krusty brothers? I seem to recognized the lopsided smirk.
Post-Thanksgiving the honchos at Kraft,
Have come up with a campaign more daft:.
Ditch that blast of Rotel
and Velveeta to hell;
Vermont cheddar, black olives, Hotts laugh.
Yep, pretty sure that is our friend.
There once was a group so moronic,
They attempted a shared high-colonic.
Circle-jerking their asses
Their livers collapsed as
Their jaundice blew forth supersonic.
The Dutch and the Douche share a hue:
It’s the House of Orange, known as Poo.
The gals and the fellow
Chameleon deep yellow
To double-Dutch douche the Club, too!
Amir watched in disgust and disbelief could not believe that Mahmoud delay "That's my biggest fan." Line worked five times a night.
Rhyming Orange easy-
The fumes from the hotts painted orange
Sore throats were treated with a lozenge
Although they traveled as a herd
could not escape from this turd
in the morning their pussies sprouted sporange!!!
sporange, botanical term for a part of a fern or similar plant
@Douchey Lewis 12:02…LOL
methinks mehoff’s right
What?! These assholes also paint their walls orange too?
That’s the only limerick I could come up with.
oops, got drunk & missed the limerick Tues…. thanks for hearing me, Boss… drunk agin tho… a recurring symptom of modern living!