Friday, December 31, 2010

    New Years Thoughts and Links

    Yeah, I had no idea what pic to run as we say goodbye to 2010 and head on into 2011.

    So if ya can figure this one out, your New Years is more sober than mine.

    Your humble narrator is in NYC and alcohol will be consumed. Oh yes. It shall. I have nothing clever to add to that statement. For it is factual and pure and true.

    Here’s your New Years Eve Links:

    Your HCwDB New Years DVD Pick of the Week: ” It’s too bad we had to kill her. I really liked the outfit she had on.”

    Odious HCwDB of the Year winner and all around Floridian assclown, Stackhouse The Poet gives his acceptance speech on the Social Interruption Podcast.

    Courtesy of Fail Blog, Bleeth Tanning Fail.

    And yet more Fail Blog ‘bag tagging: Jury Discharged in Douche Murder Case. Because killing ‘bags isn’t a crime anymore thanks to the Lily Ledbetter It’s Okay to Murder Douchebags Bill.

    Over in Scotland, there’s Bravefart. Give him pudwackery or give him death!

    “The price is wrong, bitch!”

    Reader Canadian ‘Bag Hunter has started up his own blog, Nietzsche Made Me Do It. It is beyond both good and evil.

    And while it’s been a quiet week as we transition into the New Year, and while the holiday has passed, you’ve still earned it:

    Christmas Pear

    Tonight, we drink.

    For another year has passed, and Aud Lang Something is to be sung with pensive aplomb.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, December 31, 2010

    George Busch and Melanie Niptape Say “Happy New Year!”

    They both wanted to remind you to be sure to wear your douche-fros up tonight.

    And tape up all nips.

    For that’s the only classy way to ring in the New Year.

    May 2011 be filled with more hottie, and less douchey, for all of us. Amen.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, December 30, 2010

    Luke Skyhipster and Tina Librarian Hott say “Happy New Year!”

    ‘Bagling Luke is barely a stage-1 doucher.

    But since Tina Librarian Hott fires up my loins with existential cackle, I run this pic. For hers is an etherial beauty I would gnaw without teeth from the deepest provinces of my primitive boobie suckle desiring cave mind.

    As the end of year becomes clear on the horizon, hers is a beauty that will carry us onward until dawn…

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, December 30, 2010

    Breaking: Someone Named Steve Rahr is a Billionaire and a Douchebag

    Some rich pharmaceutical asswipe you’ve never heard of, who happens to be very rich, is also an orange burnt hand gesture making stupid sunglasses wearing assclown.

    I linked to this tangerine a few weeks ago, as he apparently does charity work for poor people.

    But, as it says in Leviticus, all the charity in the world won’t get you into heaven if you dress like a douchescrape.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, December 29, 2010

    Marty Parties

    Like the legendary Ricky before him, Marty Parties when presented with Sandy’s beautiful and glorious homegrown bouncy bobs.

    Good on you, Marty.

    Have a nottadouche for drunken happiness and go in peace into the New Year.

    You’ve earned it.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, December 29, 2010

    Tyler Tags a Cleveland Steamer

    Pic Deleted

    Tyler writes in with a Cleveland tag:

    —-
    DB1,

    Caught a pics of this Cleveland douche and his cute girlfriend whom I go to school with during a night on the town.

    Praise and mock are both needed.
    - Tyler

    —-

    I’m still pissed about Cleveland’s War on HCwDB, which I assure you, has only just begun.

    There will be justice, Cleveland Powers that Be. You cannot stop the hottie/douchey dialectics. If you strike us down, we will only grow stronger and more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, December 29, 2010

    The Tapout Mohawkians

    Something tells me the age of The Hipsterbag was shortlived, and 2011 will see a resurgence of what I’m calling the Tapout Mohawkians.

    Those pseudo tough-guy aging beer swilling wannabees that had a brief hey-day in 2007 are returning.

    To bother tasty Blonde Heathers who just wanted to order a mojito.

    This bears monitoring in 2011. A return to lame UFC douchery is a sad development indeed.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, December 29, 2010

    Anglehead Harold

    Some dudes think if they just tilt their head to the proper 17 degree tilt, then, and only then, will they look cool in a pic.

    Harold would be wrong.

    For the stupid hair, it burns.

    Michella’s firm and plucky mammage deserve the utmost respect of fondle. By twin peruvian dwarves named Slajd and Jeks. Using only a feather duster and a small can of lard.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, December 28, 2010

    Ask DB1: Collar Pop Quandry

    —–
    DB1,

    I’m in a quandry, coming up soon is the anual boxing day cricket game my friends and I partake in.

    And by cricket game I mean standing in the sun taking in the blistering heat and skinful of alcohol. Its the festive season its what we aussies do.

    But here lies my problem, blessed with the genes of what round about equates to an albino, the sun becomes a problem. So and I’m ashamed to admit it, I pop the collar, which affords me a little extra protection for my milky white hide. Is this a valid excuse for this manouvre, or am I falling prey to the first symptoms of the virus?

    Praise be Xenu,
    – Crocodile Dun Douche

    —–

    Well Boxing Day has come and gone, so this advise may come too late, C.D.D. but the answer is this:

    Collar Pop = Autodouche.

    None shall pass inspection. Better to watch your pale ass roast under light of sun, then partake of douchal signifier.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, December 28, 2010

    Mötley Pü

    They’re really big in Belgium and France.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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