Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Douchiest Tatt: The Starry Blight, aka The King of Sears
There have been more horrifying tatts seen over the past year.
There have been scarier tatts.
More ridiculous tatts.
But this category is “Douchiest Tatt.” And nothing quite says Douche like a giant crown logo on one’s chest.
Hello Kitty does not approve.
Appearing originally in July, Starry Blight couldn’t even win a Weekly, even as his douche tatt remains in our collective unconscious. The Blight’s douchey ass was seen again in a Friday Haiku. And now, a well deserved 2010 Douchie Award for well deserved chestal asswankery.
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I was born a king of fools
most people think I’m just a playboy breaking rules.
But they don’t know that when it comes around
To love I always lose
That’s why I call myself the king of fools.
I say it every year at The Douchies, part of the fun is reading through the old comments threads of the winners that are posted. Choice stuff. LOLCOPTRZZ as always.
This gross chick was waaaayyyyy overlookeed for bleethiest bleeth
Why was Hello Kitty not up for a Bleeth award?
The gnarly blue viens in her fake breests make me wonder whether she is any relation to Tendon Ted.
King Stahlman is spinning in his grave, that tatt is so douchey. For you non So Cal people, his bail bonds commercials were epically cheesy, but this would have been beneath even him.
And the guys posting above are correct: Hello Clitty Bleeth deserves at least some mention in that category.
chestal asswankery, classic.
King of Sears with the body of a awkward 15 year old teenager is excited and wonders how he can out douche his award for next year. I have faith that he’s working on a new design.
I say again, bleethy sure, but I like.
The Utersladder lady on the left is Starry Blight… i’d know that cleve 2000 miles away through sand and fog. Though her Picasso face, devoid of emotion or understanding, looks better behind the windshield goggles she’s wearing at the Mandalay Pool.
Both of them have bewildering examples of empty headed excess emblazoned on their chests.
When she does her daily workout it sounds like Fisbo the Clown furiously pumping out balloon animals for the local children’s hopsital, and when she’s through all the static electricity makes her hair stand on end.
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His is just foolish self aggrandizing. I’m sure when he got that tatt, “Dude, what the f*ck were you thinking?” was not the reaction he was planning on.
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Deep down inside, and though she’ll never admit it she’s glad he did it, because it does distract from her abominations.
^damn nippleberg you’ve done your research, they all just start looking the same to me.
I believe you may be right sir.
Is it possible he was a child chess protégé and he celebrated his 18th birthday with a commemorative tatt? Nah, he’s a douchebag.
5% of me wants to see Hello Kitty with less clothes on. The other 95% knows that she giggles like a mynah bird impersonating a machine gun and that we should all just keep walking like nothing happened.
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okay, maybe 15%/85%.
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and by 15%/85% I mean 30%/70%.
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right. Just keep walking…
She Ra the Bleeth may be a freak of nature, but my testicles have protested unanimously reminding me of my primal nature; a plan of dispensing a blanket of “sac-snot” on her faux mommy knobs while digging india ink dipped soccer cleats into this hideous slab of pubic androgen waste.
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BOOYAH baby… BOOYA!
It’s true… Her tatts are overflowing out of her bikini top.
I wood do her. And by wood I mean two condoms and some saran wrap.
His third arm is fisting herself.
A perfect winner in my opinion.
Nice Social D lyrics Crucial. Very fitting for the King Sears.
“King of Sears” whoops
She’s more like “Hello Tranny.”
This had to be a tough category to pick just one DB1. Retarded tattoos are like a dime piece a dozen on this site. The douchebags are the moth and the lameass tattoos are the fire, or flames or Jesus cross/eagle holding a machine gun/skull and cross bones/ex-girlfriend’s name/that one idiot with the face tattoo. Like I said, there has been a lot of horrible tattoos this year.
Nice work Tinkle, I was just about to comment that it is in fact one of the Uttersladder’s bottle blonds but you beat me to it.
Starry Blight IS Utersladder. Check the stupid little star tatt just below his left clavicle. And you can see the top of his crown through the shirt in the Utersladder photo. Hence his coupling with Hello Kitty.
This guy is pure choad. However, for Hello Kitty, wow, God bless modern surgery and silicone. Simply stunning.
….and Finkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is Finkle.
Is she a pornstar? I’d like to watch that get tapped.
Great bit of detective work Mr. VonNippleberg. Perhaps you’ld like a position at my agency?
Jed the Creepy Wankscrote called to protest about his NOT getting this award. he promised he will get even douchier tatts.
it remains doubtful whether Jed can pull big boobie bleeths like Starry Blight though.
agree with Stevels.
I would have thought Jed thhe Creepy Wankscrote would have won douche tatts. But this nozzle is right up there.
And the bleeth factor on this girl is pegged like an ohm meter touching welding cables. A popping sound, some smoke, and one dead piece of gear. She is definitely hall of bleeth material.
Just letting you know that that chick is friends with sharkbag.
Oh, shit fuccle buckle. *saws off right hand* I’m renouncing my career and going right to the convent. So who likes Catholic porn?
@Medusa:
That reminds me of one of my favorite jokes from adolescence–
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Q: What meat does the Pope eat on Fridays?
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A: Nun
Fleur-de-lis tatts = French
French = Frogs
Frogs = croaks
Croaks = drop dead
And how I agree with Steve L. and Troy: Jed the Creepy Wankscrote is deserving of worst tatts. However, it appears our winner here has edited his tatts to one outstandingly bad tatt. If that is why he wins, so be it.
In my eyes, he will always be King Sharty.
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Look, his hair even tapers.
This chick is in porn?
Who’d have guessed?
Shes bleethy, but I like her slight GSR.
This guy is DEFINITELY Uttersladder as Douchetastic points out. I went back and looked at the two pictures, and he’s right about the star at the clavicle and the point of the crown is poking up from his shirt, much like a turtle head pokes through.
In looking at the tattoo in this picture again, I don’t think that’s an E. I think it is an h. Which would make this skid mark, The King of Sharts.
Definitely the Douchiest Tatt.
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As to people’s call for her to be mentioned in The Douchebaguette, what kept her from being in the very top ranks was her sweet smile. Banging (albeit obviously enhanced) body? Check. Bleethy clothing? Check. Ridic sunglasses? Yup. Duck lips or gang sign flashing or any douchey behavior? Ooops, she missed the mark. She’s a heavy stage 3, but is missing the attitude. With a kissy lips or flipping the bird or something, she’d have been in the top 5 for sure.
Is anyone in here going to make the “Hello Titty” joke, or do I need to do it?
Wait….nevermind.
I agree with DouchJ Pauly Douche. This girl should have won Bleethiest Bleeth of the year.
Pauly, your the biggest douchebag of em all! Fuck your comments! Keep em to yourself and fuck you! The only reason you are somewhat of a celebrity is, unbelievably there is a douchebag bigger than you and decided to put your stupid ass on tv! Everyone of you jersey shore mother fuckers! fist pumping faggots! Get a life and get a job you piece of shit!
P.S. hope snookie drops to her death in that new years eve ball! The only prob with that is, too bad the rest of yall fuckers cant be in it to join her ugly bitch ass!