Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Most Likely To Be A Part of the HCwDB Show at the Guggenheim in the year 2023: “American Typhus”

When my alcoholic ass is finally acknowledged as one of the great conceptual artists of the 21st Century by the cognoscenti and urbane literati, there will be much feting done.

The art world will mark HCwDB as one of the great conceptual art projects to alter understandings of image and tactility in the age of virtual remediation.

This will place HCwDB into context as important to the development of art in the age of the simulacra as Dada or Pop Art was to the machine age.

By 2023, HCwDB will gain entrance into the Museum of Modern Art’s permanent collection. That same year, my first major show will be held at the Guggenheim acknowledging the profound structural shift in terms of understanding the impact of the Hottie/Douchey dialectics.

Other works of art from the past year to be a part of my first show:

“Tired Stripper and Lickbag”
“Virgin Arm #38″
“The Thompson Twits”
“The Kettlehead Goes The Full Khan”
“Magritte N’est Pas Une Douchebag”
“The Portrait of Dorian’s Gay”
Federico Fellini’s ‘La Douche Vida’”

And, much like Picasso’s Blue Period, a work that will become known as from my “Pear Period,”: “Pool Pear”

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
4:36 pm December, 15 Wedgie said...

Best In Show. And well earned. Nice rake, Skippy.

4:39 pm December, 15 Douchble Helix said...

Check out the innocent bystander who got snagged taking a pic of Pool Pear.

4:51 pm December, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Wedgie^
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That’s the fakest rake I’ve ever seen.

4:51 pm December, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Unfinished Tatt Guy called in to say “Good

4:54 pm December, 15 mr.reeve said...

I love Pool Pear.

4:55 pm December, 15 Bag A said...

Great award! Great to see the Thompson Twits again!

4:59 pm December, 15 mr.reeve said...

Blue Blocker Sunglasses needs some kind of award. They have become the sunglass of choice amongst the ‘bags.

5:06 pm December, 15 Wheezer said...

Pool Pear shall set us all to fwapping in 2023 as she does now.
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For proof, BRB…..

5:07 pm December, 15 Wheezer said...

Just as long as John Largeman is the one guarding the display, everything’s good.

5:09 pm December, 15 Nancy Dreuche said...

Yes! “The Kettlehead Goes The Full Khan” will be in the exhibit. I will pay an outrageous amount to view it while being served tiny mushrooms from the Galapagos Islands and kelp on a piece of rye toast. I’m assuming thats the menu. Please tell me you won’t be serving chicken and Michelob Ultra. Gauche some!

6:03 pm December, 15 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

@DH at 4:39:
And twisting his hip to hide his boner.

6:04 pm December, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Mr Typhus’ shits have arms and legs and actually scurry down the toilet hole without having to flush. Yech, that was gross, but not as gross as being this guy’s urologist looking for those pesky Candirú. Don’t pee in the lake , dimwit
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And just what the fuck is plastered all over left Thompson Twit?
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The “HCwDB Show at the Guggenheim in the year 2023″ , while intriguing on many levels, will also be bile inducing. Hand me the Rolaids

6:41 pm December, 15 Bag A said...

@Douchble Helix (4:39pm) –

Maybe that’s not an innocent bystander. Maybe it’s the DB1?

7:30 pm December, 15 Deltus said...

The hat and the rake take this from being just another picture of just another douchehole fuckwit, to being high art. It tasks you to question your own percepts.

7:38 pm December, 15 Steve L. said...

Pool Pear gives meaning to Vegas pool parties.
American Typhus? not so much.

7:54 pm December, 15 Medusa Oblongata said...

If aliens were to land and see this, they would either get back in their ship and leave, or nuke us from orbit.

8:04 pm December, 15 Wedgie said...

I still get a kick out of Tired Stripper. Doesn’t that look say it all?

8:22 pm December, 15 Tom Choad said...

American Gut-ick
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Grant Wood is puking in his grave right now.

9:45 pm December, 15 Fatness said...

@Wedgie….Tired Stripper’s face flawlessly describes the angst and hopelessness of an entire generation.
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I love her.

10:33 pm December, 15 Motorcycle Parts said...

They became the sunglasses of choice among the bags.

12:42 am December, 16 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I was always turned on by how sad she looks in this picture. There’s nothing quite as sexy as a crying stripper.

4:52 am December, 16 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Jacques^
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I hear you, my friend. When she’s grinding in your lap, pushing her rock hard boobs together, crusts of old coke around the inside of each nostril, and the mascara is just running down her cheeks in streams of glistening black, that’s when I switch from the $1′s to the $5′s.

4:54 am December, 16 Troy Tempest said...

“Tired Stripper and Lickbag” was a better picture, IMHO, for all the reasons I stated in the original thread on it.
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Also overlooked was the depressing pile of skeez in Carousel. (Ugly douches and bleeths lined up on a circular stage in garish lighting. brilliant) The saddest thing about this category was the loss of Brooke And Douchebag when Brooke had it taken down. It was a hands down winner. (She’s barely dresed in heels, he’s shirtless holding a big black dog on a chain. Behind them both is a HUGE pick up truck and a McMansion. Diane Arbus would have committed suicide after seeing this. Oh. She did commit suicide. Already. Nemmind.) IT was a truly horrific vision.
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The above photo which plays on Grant Wood’s famous American Gothic, is knowing artifice. It’s trite and dull and while we’re clearly dealing with a couple of morons in the photo, that reflexivity doesn’t really carry anything to us – it is a mirrored binary that reflects its own poo.
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art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/art/poo/
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It doesn’t resonate. Tired Stripper resonates. It conjures up a place and a time that really is apocalyptic and boring, outrageous and dull, all at the same time. Her gaze is the gaze of every whore in history, as demonstrated in my analysis with Manet’s Olympia. I’m thinking of upping the rez on the image and printing it out and getting it framed. American Typhus? Not so much.

FYI – I collect the images I find most striking here. Someday I will have to put them in some kind of a movie and upload to youtube or something…

Sorry boss. Ya fucked up on this category.

7:06 am December, 16 DouchJ Pauly Douche said...

First time seeing this pic, and so f’in glad I did. I am about 97.9% sure this douche went to my neighboring high school….Mark Druckenmiller….we called him drunkinmilpher because he was a douche-slut who pounded his friends mom…..so true….wow! Mark if that is you….I surprised to see you alive since you contracted HIV along time ago…

Hipster neckeye douche fills me with rage to the point where I think I’m finally going to fire My hipster douche employee….his skinny pants are starting to melt my contacts

7:09 am December, 16 DouchJ Pauly Douche said...

Thick cellulo-free suckle thigh pool pear and her razor sharp jawline saved the day….and broke my zipper hmmmm

7:45 am December, 16 Anonymous said...

Tired Stripper and Lickbag stil kills me. I love that picture!! It encapsulates perfectly the rise and fall of Western Civilization.

11:05 am December, 16 Captain Garanichode said...

per Bill the Cat… “Thbbbft!, Hack!”

11:16 am December, 16 DarkSock said...

Tired Stripper was Robbed….

1:33 pm December, 16 Troy Tempest said...

^Agreed^^^^

1:33 pm December, 16 Troy Tempest said...

I think this is one category that might have been worth a vote. Maybe not.

12:03 am December, 17 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

The Chicago Art Institute will be contacting you before year’s end for publishing a spoof picture based on their popular ” American Gothic” painting by Grant Wood.

Just so you’d be prepared: They consider the spoofs to be worthy of a fee for using their copyrighted material.

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