The Irving Thallbag Lifetime Douchechievement Award: King Douchuous the IV
All hail the King!
For his douchery is legend.
A spiked up spectacle of brothabaggery and hawk that first spiked onto HCwDB way back in 2007, no single scrotemunch of clubslackery has appeared with a larger variety of hotts, for a longer time, than the legend that is King Douchuous the IV.
Long has his spikey hair crown, silk shirts and stupid facial configurations reigned in the land of quality A-List Party Hotts.
Here is just the spiked up tip of the epic three year run of hottie/douchey party idiocy that earns this gel incrusted crown his royal title:
The King Appears in July of 2007
The Shocker King
King of the Hot Tubs
King of Pear (he’ll always be)
King of Button Nosed Blondes
Don’t Mess With The King
The King Parties On
The Limo King
King of Blondes
The Cuddle King
King of yet More Blondes
King of Boobs
Vegas King
Reclining King
The King rules the land of douchebags so far and wide, he’s even appeared with another HCwDB of the Year winnner, Smoot.
You may have grown to like the King. That happens. It’s okay. Some of our douches become more heinous over the years. Others earn a sort of growing respek. The King is in the latter category. Like Bra!! before him, he is happy and joyous.
And while he’s still undeniably a douche, wearing his gelled hair crown proudly, he is also a legend.
Here’s to you, King Douchuous the IV. For dedication to craft and longevity in pursuit of the party hotts, you earn the well deserved 2010 Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award.
And up next, the final award, the 2010 HCwDB of the Year…
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First!
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I’ve never been able to do that before. Strange, it’s not nearly as satisfying as it looked from the outside.
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A well-deserved award, but Stank should be taking everything BUT HCwDBoY. Nonetheless, the King is a good choice.
Congrats to King Douchuous the IV. He worked hard for this award. He can still be found on the douchey websites that feature all the Vegas clubs.
The King deserves this award. Like a fungus, he’s grown on me over the years.
But I really hope that Stack’s not winning this doesn’t the HCwDBoY award signify. Anything but that. C’mon boss, you can be creative. Something that won’t potentially get him hotts if he puts it on a t-shirt (which you know he will).
Some of those “jelly” ‘tards in the Hineyho thread posted “long live the King”…
….they can all now bow down to the once and future King, KING DOUCHUOUS IV….
He is legend.
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Quite an impressive resume, Douchuous. There is no denying it– you’re a royal douchebag.
One thing I will say in the King’s favor, he is never seen scowling or acting like a tough guy in the presence of the boobie hottie suckle thigh. He’s always got that big goofy grin. Good on ya, King Douchous. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
The King and his plural “Bleeth” (previously referred to as Bleethi)
See? This is how you earn your way in to the Hall, not by being a psychotic, sociopathic pedo. The King would not be caught dead frying turkeys, uttering brainless nonsense or chasing 15 year olds. He brings A-List Hott at A-List locations and A-List Douche…and he looks like he genuinely likes the people he is around.
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Well chosen.
Couldn’t have happened to a better guy…
I thoroughly endorse this award.
See, other, lesser douches? It’s indeed possible to look like a clown but pull hotts while smiling and looking like you’re actually enjoying yourself, instead of scowling like a preening assh*le.
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Respect.
Yes, you hoist that blue cup, bikini cutie pie. Your smile would turn into lip biting extacy as you arched your back to my incessant munching of your girlie bits. I wouldn’t even mind if you let loose with a chili fart while I was down there as long as I could climb up on in where it came from with my elder child cockk..
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… oops, did I say that out loud?
King Douchuous IV shows us what is LOOKS LIKE to be a douche, while never sayin’ a mumblin’ word.
I stand and applaud the King.
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KD4’s infectious joy makes the douche world a better place. If more douchebags followed the example of their King, there would be so much less to mock. It would be a world where everyone was happy just to be greeting a new day, but for some reason you dressed like you were opening for Flock of Seagulls. I could live with that.
ok….I am newer to this site, yes. But, I have already seen Douchuous many times……and he always brings a smile…and he always brings the HOTTS…..his hair is douchey, the Vegas club promoter job is douchey…..but lets face it…..he brings the hotts with a smile! I have actually grown to like this guy (as much as I like the newly formed cellulite on my hott’s firm ass…..aging sucks!) but he is ok in my book.
Not someone I would want to be seen with in public but ok……sob sob!
Excuse me everyone…..I just found out my ex-girlfriend was at the gay club Woodys last night and brought home the bartender……sob sob…>how hot are you to bring home the bartender at a fag bar…..sob….i miss u sugar magnolia
Ah, it is good to be king! 5 hotts in a pool? nice…
The King is Douche! Long live the King!
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Anyone who ever had a wart as a kid knew that no matter what you did to it, that crusty crowned nob kept coming back. Cut it, freeze it, gnaw on it (you know you did!), and you’d have relief for a few weeks, but then it would doggedly, predictably pop its cauliflower dome out of your body like Jack Nicolas sticking his head through the door he’d just chopped open in “The Shining”. That’s kinda what the Thallbag means to me. Like warts, some douches just keep coming back no matter what you do.
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And, just like with my persistent wart “Stuart” with whom I shared the better part of Junior High, if a Thallburg winner ever showed up in the same buildling as me I’d gnaw his head off and then wrap the stump in duct tape because as everyone knows, that’s the only real way to get rid of one of those viral growths.
Jolly King D, with his Cashmere Robe and Jelly Dong Scepter, smiles benignly over all he surveys. Because he surveys oceans of split-tailed booby hotts.
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It couldn’t happen to a nicer Douche.
@DarkScock…..arree. May be a douche, but a nice douche. A douche with a smile and all the club hotts he can pose for and put on the ‘guestlist’.
i meant agree……reminder: remove liquor from office unless self-control can be successfully achieved.
I bet the King is sponsored by both Red Bull and LA LOOKS
A well-deserved win for one of my personal favorites. And looking all yolked up, too.
Does that qualify as ‘mirin’?
Limo King is one of the best pics ever. And let’s not forget the one in the club with the hottie wearing the leopard-print thong (she e-mailed a takedown request).
This guy is in a class of his own……but which one, I have no idea.
King D, a player’s player and a douche’s douche. You do at least look like you’re having genuine fun, so good show. Congrats on your award, if you ever need a court jester, call me.
He still has that silly grin. Good on you, King Douchous. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
I think what Motorcycle Parts meant was: “There is a tremendous award king, ala pet stool, and another thing there.”
King D brings that party-time atmosphere to the Douchies in a way that maybe only Bra!! could do better. I can only imagine the two of them clubbin’ it up together – “Mr. Pibb” would be code for “Party in Back, Broheim!”
King D’s greatest achievement is that he somehow convinced MTV that he’s “humble as can be”.
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well we ARE talking about MTV here. but don’t let that overshadow the significance of this achievement. and by significance i mean heavy gut wrenching miasma.
King D has a pancreas made of lithium. IT keeps him afloat and energised. Nothing matters in the world of King D, because all is well and just happenin’ as it should. What goes around sticks to the bottom of your shoe like a spitoon full of Stacky spoo.
King Douchuous is the original Happy Fella’ and was recently seen handing out Happy Meals at McDonald’s after the toy ban in SF.
What if a hundred years from now King Douchuous was the Happy Meal toy?
I gotta say that at least King D seems to be having fun with his persona and I have a bit of respect for that. All these sad-joker gothtards sitting around sawing away at their forearms could take a lesson in mirth from this dude. All the scowling Stackhouses of the world need to lighten the eff up and at least wring some joy out what is a very superficial way of life. Good on ya, King D. No hard feelings, no pass either, but I hoist my cup of Mr. White’s Christmas Spiced Ale to you and wish you a douchetacular new year.
What does it say about the direction of Douche that a spike-headed brothabag club promoter with a constant retinue of Bleeth seems like an old friend? I say we are failing. In the presence of such utter shitheelitude as Stack and Liptatt and KDIV’s ersatz companion, Smoot, KDIV seems like a good guy. Lest we forget, KDIV is a giant douche. Not a violent sociopathic douche, but a douche nonetheless. Let us redouble our efforts, mocking all douche equally, wherever it may be found.
KDIV is to traps as Pumpito is to pecs.
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Oh my God. Your website is awesome. Seriously. And the readers’ comments make it that much better. I just spent an hour perusing the douchebaggery and damn near shit my pants laughing beyond the point of tears. My fiance walked in and thought I was having a seizure!
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