Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Caption Omar’s Thought
“Is the shortest distance between two points still a line in a four dimensional curved universe? And why is there a red bump on my peepee?”
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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- In memoriam: bcs
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*sniff*-*sniff*….
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.
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“Yep, you’re pregnant.”
Due to the removal of his upper C2 through C7 vertebrae Todd found it necessary to support his head at all times.
Silence of the Mamms
“I’m recreating an iconic Miles Davis photo to show the relevance of bebop in a post-modern world and shit.”
There goes Mark, shooting his mouth off again
Mark shows Lisa proper fellatio technique, using a scale-correct model of his penis.
“I wonder if she believes I got the hep C from my tattoo needles?”
Pinocchio finally figured out a way to keep his nose from growing every time he lied about his penis size.
Elmer prepared to prove the naysayers wrong when they challenged his ability to tickle his brain through his nose.
“Groupies at the Booger Picking Championships are the best,” surmised the jubilant Roscoe.
Crucial!
.
What? Did you just get fired or something?
If everyone would just hush up, they could actually hear the gerbil rounding the final bend in my ascending colon.
Having run out of blow hours earlier, Thurmond resorted to snorting his fingers to maintain that righteous buzz.
@Scrotato Head,
.
Just a brief window of freedom baybee!
As the blood flowed freely from his prolapsed anus, Calvin could only sit and ponder, “Did I at at Wendys TWICE yesterday? Hmmmm.”
@Crucial
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Oh, so you just got temporarily laid off. Bully for you!
It’s pretty easy. First you nibble at the shaft, brushing your lips against it, licking it up and down furtively, like a popsicle that’s melting and you don’t want any of it to drip on your hands. Then you grab it firmly at the base before wrapping your lips around th- ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION!? I’m not going to show this to you again!
No layoff, just a brief reprieve from the IT Nazi’s that took over here a few months back. I still lurk and read all you guys when I get the chance. Brings a smile to my face every time.
… and this little piggy went all the way to its colonic home.
Ah, good. The final round of “Guess what I just in” is still going on. This douche never misses. It’s like he’s a savant or something. Then again maybe it is because Kandee somehow manages to get the donkey to blow a second load just after lunch.
After failing to come up with the money to cover his bookie for the fifth week in a row, Artie kissed his index finger goodbye.
^ Goddamn it. The game is “Guess What I just SAT in”
“Ssshhh! Don’t tell anyone, but I’m have a sex change op tomorrow”
Todd always wanted to know what it was like to scratch an itch on the top of his head from the inside. You go son!
I got nothing for Omar however Blondie is kinda a cute and shit.
At the sight of the club photographer, Trent overcame both instinct and three rounds of Red Bull and Vodka, and carefully tucked his kissy lips back into place.
Shhhhhhh! Be vewy vewy qwiet. My weft shouwder tumor is weady to take its wittle nap.
Kandee waits patiently for her next dose of dried protein and sucrose as Todd keeps trying to pick a winner.
What kind of asshole get a tatt of The Wicked Witch of the West on their arm? Oh………..already answered my own question. Keep moving, nothing to see here.
As the bulge grew in his pants in response to Blondie’s firm breats pressing into his side, Omar felt compelled to capture the moment by flailing his finger between his lips and exhalting bub-l-boob-l-buub-l bab-l-boub-l-bibb-l-boob-l!!!!!
Crap… finger is stuck again
…”smell this, does it smell bad to you?”
With one sniff of his finger, Todd’s memories came flooding back to that sultry summer when he was a groupie for The Village People.
“Shhhh! If you listen very closely, you can actually hear the last shred of dignity peeling away from your soul!”
You all got it wrong… FOR. THE. WIN. I submit…
.
.
“Duh.”
I would like to say that for years I’ve used the sentence, “Yeah, I’m pretty smart, and shit.” Has always made me laugh. I think I’m the only one though.
Todd kissed his digit goodbye as he prepared to finger-bang Karen “The Kegel Klamp” Underhill.
SSSSHHH! Howard Johnson is moving his bowels!
((If I do this real careful, I can get the whole string of snot out. That will impress this girl.))
“Gee, I’d love to join my anarchist biker gang for their bank robbery at 3, but my hair and facial appointment is for exactly the same time! And I made that months in advance so I could get Gunther!”
Shhhh…while I adjust my balls to get my own camel toe just right….
Don’t tell, but Omar enjoyed showing off the white parallel line stitchery of his black jeans seams, as it enhanced the strangulation of his balls underneath.
Omar’s right bicep looked on in horror as his left finger diddled his boogers.
“I wonder if she knows I was docking with her brother this afternoon…”
.
.
.
* docking, for the uninitiated.
“Hmmmm…..do you suppose she suspects I’m wearing her panties?”
“Puddi puddi!”
“…and accepting tonight’s BCS award for mind scarring links is Mrs. Oblongata…”
.
.
Now if you will excuse me I must expunge my iPhone history and bleach my eyes.
I love this guy’s enthusiasm for New Hampshire’s most famous (former) natural rock formation, “The Old Man in Mountain.” Great tattoo. Maybe the Old Man couldn’t hang around the White Mountains forever, but at least he’s “immortalized” for another 25-40 years via ink and bicep.
.
Bravo.
“Hmmmm, I swear, the guy who did my tattoo said he was even better than Paul Booth.”
.
.
.
*Paul Booth, for the uninitiated. And this one is ok, ‘Sock, I promise.
.
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I think only JCVD would even appreciate that. Never mind.
“SHE’S A MAN, BAY-BEE, YEAH!!”
You’re an evil woman, Medusa.
@ Medusa
.
You win. I just found out what it was like to vomit all the way from my large intestine. Through my nose. Yeah, it came on that quickly. *blows nose and turds go flying across room*
.
@ Darksock
.
Do you happen to have the Underhill’s credit card number? I’ll be in cabana #8 awaiting lunch. Because of Medusa.
What thought?
Gets himself every time with the old ‘smell my finger’ gag.
Again, perhaps because Kandee managed to get the donkey to blow another load just after lunch.