Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

7:15 am August, 30 DarkSock said...

Pretend-Vomit on Ilene? Not me; I’d get my Dexy and the Midnight Runners on with her, if you know what I mean…
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“Come on Ilene….From the end o’ my Peen….”
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“sorry….“

7:25 am August, 30 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

This ‘Bag has a method, but he ain’t acting. Plus he took my mother’s drapes from 1968 to make his beach baggies.

7:31 am August, 30 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

I’d probably drool too if she stood beside me.
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.If he stood beside me, I’d urinate on his feet.

7:36 am August, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Upon further review Ilene is one of those bleeths that are good from far, far from good. The stringy, poorly-colored blond hair is a bad sign of things to come, and over-sized sunglasses hide much. Her youthful glow will diminish as her taut sucklepoochlick abdomen becomes a horror show of flaccid flesh scorched by the jizz of many d-bags, and that belly ring will reside 6 inches lower. Soon tattoos will follow and the inevitable onset of cellulite will make her thighs and ass look like a bas relief map of the Himalayas. Weep for Ilene, but masterbate to her now before it’s too late.

7:58 am August, 30 Chesty LaDouche said...

She either had a baby or appendix removed. Same diff really. He is harmless. Give me 2 hours alone with him and I’ll crack his code. But then he has to promise not to call me ever again.

8:05 am August, 30 Chumanominom said...

Though lacking in boobage today, Irene is pure soft suckle delight. Her first wrong turn to douchetown has been photographed here and she will no doubtedly peroxide her hair, get the ubiquitous “star” and ass coaster tattoos, solve that boob deficit … a-la Bleeth.

8:11 am August, 30 boone doggle said...

Fashion Police Rule 7.3.1a Horizontal stripes make you look fat.

Fashion Police Rule 7.3.1b They will not make a mountains out of mole hills.

8:11 am August, 30 boone doggle said...

I still would though.

8:16 am August, 30 Douche Wayne said...

Is that a shadow or ninja-foot? Or is her ninja-foot casting a shadow? (One of the great unanswerable questions of the universe.)

It’s probably just her penis.

8:42 am August, 30 The Dude said...

Lee Strasburg never got his tongue that close to a bikini hott, so he couldn’t… he couldn’t… (*pause for dramatic effect*)
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Oh, the horror!

8:51 am August, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I applaud women who choose not to alter their bodies with silicone implants. It shows tremendous self confidence and the ability to fight off the overwhelming demands of our crass culture to conform to a false image of what truly makes a woman beautiful.
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Unless you’ve got no boobs at all. Nobody likes to suck on ribs unless they’re at TGI Fridays.

9:19 am August, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Scrotato: was just going to chime in with that exact comment. Hate the store bought ones, but this cutie needs something up top. Douche needs to pull up his shorts and get a swift slap to the head.

9:26 am August, 30 schlicht bindenburger said...

boogerdoosh!

10:50 am August, 30 Stephanie said...

It’s hairless boy day down at HCWDB. The tide should have blown him away.

11:14 am August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ sock
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I thought it was “Come on Ilene. Wipe her off. Now she’s clean.”
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But then again, the 80s are mostly a blur.

11:18 am August, 30 Baron Von Goolo said...

I concur with the general sentiment here about bolt-on boobages. And yet, this young lady’s world class waist:hip ratio is weeping for some counterbalance. Even Venus de Milo has awesome cans. The void is yawning.

6:32 pm August, 30 Guid is Good said...

What we have here is a NBIWNLF (Near Bleeth I Would Not Like to …). Looks OK at 1st glance but goes rapidly downhill from there. And thats before the 2 kids under 3yo and the ex who is always late with the alimony.

I’ll pass. But thanks for looking.

10:14 pm August, 30 automaticdouche said...

I bought a pair of these trunks at Target… now they must be thrown away.

12:17 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

The Boss sure likes to post pix of douchebags in blue plaid shorts. Some nostalgiia thang, no doubt.
“She’s probably got some push-up bras and just wants to relax the “pose” in her bikini attire,” said the little bird from Victoria’s Secret.

10:35 am August, 31 Steve L. said...

Ilene uses sense memory to pretend that she has breasts.
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she also uses sense memory to pretend that she has curves.
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er wait. she actually HAS curves.
damnit.