Monday, February 6, 2012
Suzanne Brings Joy to Starving Children in Africa
And by starving children in Africa, I mean me, bored and on the internet. For she has the rarefied Mayan Eye of Repeated Night Coitus. I would prostate myself before her sweaty sports bra after a vigorous session of hatha flow yoga, chanting ancient Gaelic melodies in a squeaky falsetto, just for the chance to gum gnaw her sweatsocks while she complained about her abusive stepfather.
You do not want to look at what the Boba Brothers keep in their closets at home. Trust me.
Not since Pee Wee Herman has a choad looked so foolish in a red bow tie.
Oh, mama!
.
Those guys look like the McPoyle Bros from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
Though a distinct lack of chestal area mass, I’m digging her Angelina Jolie-ishness.
.
Maître d’hôtel on the left forgot to change out of his white-piping-on-black polyester work jacket.
.
No comment on spaz in bow tie. He looks like he had a very, very hard time in 1st through 8th grade — hard time meaning he never learned to read.
I’m not sure prostating yourself is going to get you laid. Prostrating could work better. Unless she’s deeply into anal. Get it, Reverand Manning?
Speaking only for myself, she can give me an exam any day.
I don’t mean to offend anyone, but only retards wear the matching bow tie and hat combo. And tuck the ears in. Retards, I says…
Prostrate: lying on the ground in adoration or submission.
Prostate: male reproductive gland.
Prosthetic: an artificial limb.
.
I prostrated myself before Prunella as she provocatively probed my prosthetic prostate.
I second the prostate exam and the retard. She has a singular look about her like a combo young Shannon Tweed, young Pamela Anderson, young Yasmine, young Lonnie Anderson, with a hint of hint of Carole Channing and Carrot Top thrown in just to fuck around with your head. And by fuck around with your head I mean the Mario Manningham catch.
I believe they just got off work as members of the mariachi band El Chorizo Handlers, now playing the Decatur Pepe’s Tacos Wednesday through Sundays.
She looks like the kind of MILFY cougar you find at the club dead drunk by 10:30, wearing nothing but negligee and a mink stole, trying to sweet talk the bartender into a rim job and free glass of champagne.
I just received a cheque for $50 from the USA with the note at the bottom reading..” for GOOD WHISKEY ELY’S BITCH.” from the Honourable Wedgie. I thank you.
.
If anyone needs the info, Wedgie banks at:
.
Wells Fargo Bank
California
5867940333-3957129004-00381
.
Wedgie’s address and phone number are as follows:
.
67834 Canyon Way
San Diego
California
90211
.
949-606-9874
surferdude4569@hotmail.us
She has a poker face, by which I mean I’d like to poke her with my Mayan pole of coitus.
Suzanne brings joy to me and to the Albino Python in my crotch – it’s one eye staring, unblinking, at the glorious wonder that is Suzanne…….
She has a nice pooch and definitely is working the milfy rarefied Mayan Eye of Repeated Night Coitus. I’m gonna go call wedgie now to see what he’s up to.
Wedgie, I just sent a package for safekeeping. It should be marked “endangered animal meat products”. If a group of Asian men come by looking for it, they should use the code phrase “the Panda stifles a yawn.” Please keep it refrigerated between 32F and 34F.
Thanks, Rev. I always wanted my personal info published on the web. Why didn’t you give ’em my social security number, too? Fuccen Commie Canadian.
.
.
On an unrelated note, I applaud the DB1 for the category used to catalog this photo, “Sapphic Bomber”. This category engenders incredible excitement by its very mention.
However, it appears to be woefully underpopulated, consisting of only a single photo. A title that juicy surely deserves more than one pic in its queue, don’t you think?
Get busy.
Note to My Fellow Hunters:
The Rev is having some fun at your expense. My e-mail address is not surfer-dude-whatever-it-says-up-there.com
It is, most appropriately, bite.this@justfuccenblowme.com
Just thought you might want the real one, because I won’t get any mail from that other, obviously bogus, e-mail address.
Suckers.
@Wedgie, I just sent you one of my infamous sepia tone peen collages. Enjoy it.
^”the Panda stifles a yawn”.
.
Fucking beer all over the place and the Mrs. Saying ” Are you on that douchebags site again.”
.
Eli
Nancy, Foolio is willing to pose for one of your infamous herpia tone peen collatio thingies.
Any chance there’s old photos of douche bags? I’m mighty bored looking at these. I’m talking like perhaps people from times 1950’s or perhaps,or as far back as 1900 or more. History of Douche. Just an idea. It could be funny.
@Stephanie, you know who would be good at putting side by side timeline of that? Douchble Helix, that’s who. I think douchebaggery probably can be found in the earliest photos ever taken. Unfortunately its not a new phenomenon.
@The Dude, I never go for the ones that want to pose. I target the shy ones.
Stephanie, it all began here:
Duoche on the left is a grave robber. He stole that jacket from the grave of Captain Kanagaroo.
.
.
.
.
Green Jeans
Dude,well, yeah I know…these modern douches get boring. Maybe I need to watch more youtube.
The DB on the right,,,,unfuckin’ real.
One thing that never gets old is the anger a pic like this can stir up.
Joaquin Phoenix went hip hip, then metro.