Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Leo ‘Tard
Once, when I was ten, I set off a firecracker and blew up some ants on a leaf. Then I cried.
Now I know that I spared those ants having to live in a world with Leo ‘Tard. And so I feel assuaged.
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That shirt was fished from the 80’s vintage store’s trash bin. By his mom
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Barstool’s KMarko gets it. Seriously if you were going to give 1000 pounds of your hard earned money to a dude to try and find out if your girlfriend will cheat on you wouldn’t you want to invest in someone who doesn’t look half retarded and full hipster doofus?
Five heads on D-bags, and the hotties appurtenant thereto, seems to becoming more commonplace. Coincidence?
This hipster tool needs to hit the gym. Those are pathetic moobs. And Medusa, I believe this fedora falls in the auto-douche category right ?
Where the hell has Chestbrah been ? Get this bag on a workout program will ya.
I wish I would have seen these two on my Family Day absinthe and opium bender. They would have made me laugh at them and feed them in concurrent floral instances.
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Fuck you fedoras. The last fucker I saw who could rock a fedora died yesterday at 94 still a war hero. Good thing cause he was fucking miserable in the retirement home.
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Anguses
leo tard still hasn’t found what he’s looking for, its been almost 25 years. purely coincidentally the first time i found what i was looking for i was looking at marsha brady’s boobies.
true story, i think we’ll let drueche be the judge of that
wallendas.
Hairplugs.
She gets no bonus points for hanging w/- the idiot or, it must be said, for rockin’ the part down the middle do, but I’d nail her like Jesus to crucifix given half a chance.
I wasn’t aware Marsha Brady had a daughter.
She’s got a Marsha Brady-cocaine figure-hot shaved biznootch-wouldn’t you like a little Patchouli scented pussy juice beard?-action going on. Yes, I want a Patchouli scented pussy juice beard , darlin’
Woah ^
I wonder if he shaves his back as well.
If that scoop neck gets any lower, he’ll be able to suspend his shriveled testicle from it.
lotta forehead with this duo
My recommendation for this guy would be lots of push ups and then hitting the gym to focus on incline pressing. He look like he needs to work his trapezious too. Here’s how I do it and just because I a peek at the other bro’s ball satchel doesn’t mean It’s in any way ghey.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq3Rf2veQWM
The site seems to have devolved a bit from mocking the douchesters to just making fun of guys who land hot chicks. Making fun of virtually any guy standing next to a piece of taut hotness is easy. But how does a smiling hipster qualify? His hat is a stage 1 violation?
Candidly, you are losing your edge. Maybe you should re-brand the site as “Hot Chicks with Just About Any Kind of Guy and We Will All Rail on Him Because it is He and Not We With Said Hot Chick”. The URL might be a bitch though.
Raise the bar folks. And by bar, I don’t mean penis.
shes as attractive as Kuato from Total Recall
http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/total-recall-movie-image-kuato.jpg
@ Prof McD
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Umad bro? Jelly?
@ProfessorMcDouche did you scroll down and look at the past few weeks offerings? Hattas gotta hate.
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- management
PS. Moob shirt = douche
Sounds like a certain pissy “Professor” actually bought that fedora he thought looked so cool on the mannequin at that little boutique in hipstertown.
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buyer’s remorse
Professor of what, exactly?
Professor of Peen?
Professor of Sour Grapes?
Professor of Exaggeratedly Low Cut Shirt Sans Pectoralis
@Magnum PI
I didn’t buy the hat, though I did notice it at Hipster Hats R Us. You know, next to Hipster Hat Outlet, right across from Head Garments for Hipsters. It’s all in the Hipster Hat Complex in the Hipster Hat District.
But sadly, I did not buy said hat. They were all out of hats my size. You know, we professors are a brainy bunch, and well, our heads run big even as our shafts run long.
@ Wedgie
I am, in fact, a Professor of Tribal Tattoos. I have spent the decades adding barbed wire, shaman symbols, and Chinese characters to every inch of limb I have. But alas, the bleeth doth not cometh after the 23rd tribal band. And thus my dissertation was complete and my PhD handed to me.
And finally, @dbag1
I ain’t be hatin’, yo. I’s be keepin’ it real, brotha. All y’all got an image to uphold, a battle to fight. There be real dbags to find and bleeth to free. (this is starting to transition to pirate speak for some reason, but screw it, I’m going with it). Ye be better off… nay, WE ALL BE BETTER OFF… if ye keep yer eyes on the prize. Find the dbags, make them walk the plank, and let us all ravage the wenches they leave behind. And by behind, I mean we ravage them from behind.
Professor Prolapse
Professor of Last Time His Name Was D.Baggins V. 2.0
Professor Cock N’ Ball Hugger
Who are we talking bout? Nancy?
Maybe the professor is Julian Assange.
I don’t know…bad taste, obviously, but a douche? I might give him a pass…no obvious tats, no stupid hand gestures, he’s smiling for the camera…I think he might be a guy missing part of his shirt…and for that, I pity him.
I think we’ve been had. Nancy is pseudonyming again. She keeps falling in love with the bags.
Professor Dreuche. First recipient of the PhD in Metaphysics offered at Spearmint Rhino University. And shit.
This guy is a total douche, though he has no obvious signifiers other than really awkward moobs about 5 minutes into a conversation with him about some lame ass experimental art project he did in undergrad or some obscure band you’ ve never heard of that makes all thier instruments out of materials procurred from second hand shop dumpsters, you’re desperately pulling the eject lever and at 10 minutes you’re ready to commit seppuku.
He stole one of her shirts,and he has a St. Bernard dog face.
@Magnum Douche–indeed. This falls into Autodouche.
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He looks like Screech from Saved By The Bell and he’s wearing a wrestling singlet as a shirt. Douche. Final answer.
Blonde has a fivehead.
Dang, I sure cause a mess of stupid trouble when I’m not here. No nimrods, Prof Douche and I are not the same person, but I do think I might agree with second part of MPIs theory in that I’m falling in love with the douches. At least they would try to get some without me having to do too much.
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LazyLovers
Hey Prof – reasonable enough comments. We give guys a nottadouche sometimes.
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And plenty of us realize we wouldn’t throw even the skanks out of bed for eating crackers.
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Join in, make us stronger!
Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! nnnngggggg!!!!
Jan Brady lol D Helix.
Notta. However, guilty of aggravated hipstery in the 1st degree. Although it’s not visibly present, the ironic mustache and flannel logger shirt is implied.
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And though cute, dental assistant Carie is not a blazing hottie worthy of our combined drool and sacrificial Philistine foreskins upon a blazing alter to Ba’al, our sacred god of rain, thunder, fertility, and $3 micros down at the Whelton Schooner Tavern on E. Main on Wednesday nights after work.
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I would nonetheless club Leo ‘Tard over the head with a paralytic wombat until his spleen drops into his scrotum and then kidnap Carie for a long and passionate night (8 minutes) of titty slapping, awkward upper thigh grasping, and brief if not rapturously squishy coitus that culminates in an anticlimactic dribble of tapioca-like penile diarrhea.
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Mmmmm…tapioca…
That’s all you get kids. I’ll be back in town next week.
I have been a firm believer in the advice I received from both an web expert and professional sports writer who receives hate mail and hate posts on a regular basis: Don’t Feed the Trolls.
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Troll Feeders
I agree and practice that extensively @DW.
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But I believe it’s possible that a criticism is valid, having made some of my own.
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Once I determine he’s a troll, no more responses. Imho, he’s not there yet. So why not try to encourage a ‘baghunter?
He dances in the off-broadway production “Kings of Leon: The Musical”.
He has the lead role in the off-broadway production “Irony: The Musical”.
I could probably go all day on this line of bashing…
If Leo was dead lying on the sidewalk,the cops would run out of chalk for that forehead.