HCwDB Turns 6!
Six in internet years is like a hundred and thirty in human years, and seven hundred and twelve in Lohan years.
Kinda makes me wonder what old friend The Gator is up to these days.
C’mon Gator, lets celebrate!
It’s just special to me that some of you still enjoy checking in on my daily douche mockings and hottie lustings. This site has dominated my life over the past six years. It’s brought me incredible joy, some cash, a book deal, a TV show that ran three seasons, a screenplay sale, and a whole new career I never saw coming. It’s introduced me to funny and sick readers around the world. At times it’s had some incredible stress too, but it has changed my life in was I never could’ve forseen when I registered it as a free blogspot blog one bored day at work lo those six years ago.
I’ll keep it going for as long as I can. Who know where that’ll lead.
Onward and upward.
And may you all enjoy tasty snack treats and alcoholism as much as I have these past six years.
Mazal Tov (first).
Big ups DB!.
Its the quality of the writing that keeps me coming back.
“Onward and upward” indeed, congrats on making it to 6 boss.
Along with Four Prong and King Douchious IV…(and as the senior ‘baghunter on the site) I think I speak for all of us in both thanking and congratulating you on your success….and for giving us the greatest yucks on the interwebs.
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.And by “greatest yucks” I mean the ability to laugh and ejaculate at the same time.*
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.* Nancy Dreuche and Medusa excepted….
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.L’chiam DB1!.
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.BTW: spellcheck for “l’chiam” tries to correct it to “chlamydia” — true fact.
….make of that what you will.
bossman, thanks for shining the disinfecting light on the douchie-hottie trend in all its silliness…keep those pics coming. Props to the regs of course.
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nepos
What a long strange trip it’s been…This war on baggery has become our own personal Afghanistan; and I’m signing up for a 7th tour of doodie.
Congrats! I check it every day I go to work, 2nd only after NASA-run Astronomy Picture of the Day. I likes me some heavenly bodies.
Speaking of which, a song about heavenly bodies to ring in Year Number 7!
http://www.flamingpie.net/joshgarey/mp3/Josh_Garey-Hot_Young_Stars.mp3
Peace and grease from Berkeley, CA
~SG42
@ Saul…me too: APOD rules.
Sock 7:07 FTW.
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@ Choad…occasianally i laugh so hard I pee a little. Best I can do.
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Congrats, boss. This has been a ton of fun. I’m torn from my keyboard by unfortunate circumstance as of late and am not checking in as much as I’d like. But It’s good to know one of my homes on the web range is still here for me. Actually, I should say, it’s good to know the same thing has held my interest for more than three months. That’s pretty good for me.
^Hey, bug snatch, those squiggly red lines you saw when you were typing meant “correct that”. Derp.
The King, Hello Kitty Bleeth, and Four Prong.
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It’s true. A picture is worth a thousand pukes.
Try ‘chaim’.
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Cunning Linguists.
^^^^ Aw shit, that was me.
Look at The King’s belt buckle!!! He really is The King!!!
Nancy Dreuche here, Aw c’mon guys you knew it was me all along. Anyways, Happy Birthday HCwDB! Only site I’ve ever commented on because its the only site where trash talking is a requirement. DB1, while I may not give a rat’s patoot if hot bleeths are corrupted by stupid idiots, I do enjoy this site more for the in depth discussions on sexual economics, the sexual proclivities of the stars of today and yesteryear and all the other bullshit we shoot on here. And that could not be accomplished without you and the fine set of regs you got here. You’ve got regs, and you know how to use them.
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ZZ Bottom
@ Boss
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Good grief we’ve been at it this long. Alls I gots to say to that is FUCCK YEAH! I’ll be the one right behind Dark Sock in the sign up line. I know I promised you something a while back (I haven’t forgotten) but I’ve been covered in elephant shit most mornings followed by blue whale gangbangs in th afternoon this semester. And that’s just Mondays. The rest of the week gets worse after that. As sson as these little fucckers get outta my hair I be back in the swing of things. Until then, for those about to mock, we salute you! Yeah I know I ripped off AC/DC but so what.
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday, I says.
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I’d love to punch Hello Kitty Bleeth, bang her, than punch her. Then punch myself.
2012: Year of the Bagon
DW – this isn’t the Olde Country, or the Olde Days!
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Punchin’ dames is for private.
Congratulations Boss. Not surprised to see Four Prong, Helly Kitty Hott, and the King all together as, posing alone, none of them could possibly count to six.
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I raise my glass of Makers Mark and wish you a day of side-ways peace to celebrate. Here’s to six more years of quality mock. I can think of no better home for a collection of rag-tag, venomous pricks and c*nts like us to gather.
Happy Birthday HCWDB!
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Is this a still from the upcoming Avengers movie?
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Comic Book Guys
The first day I ran across the glorious spectacle of HCwDB, I had to cancel all my appointments because there was so much funny shit to go through here.
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Okay, I prolly didn’t have any appointments, but still. I must have had something to do that day.
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Four Points is still my favorite. I think I’ll have to go find that girl someday, and the db in that pic actually wrote in saying yeah, he looks like a db, haha.
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http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2008/09/four-points-writes-in/
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Mounds
For the record, I would never raise my hand to a dame, even Hello Kitty Bleeth, and never would defend anyone who did/does. None of the guys would ever. This, however, doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.
Congrats Boss!!!
Sadly, I don’t have quite enough time to join in the mock everyday like I used to, but like many other legions of fans lurking and laughing their asses off silently, I think I speak for many in saying thanks for all the fun and keep up the good work! I check the site multiple times a day and have for years. HCwDB’s is always there in constant and reliable fashion for a good laugh.
Despite all the poking fun, this site certainly counts as 6 years of hard proof in documenting and exposing a true psychological disaster in today’s society, that on a scientific level, is not something to ignore.
Perhaps that’s an idea for a new spin-off TV show which pulls together the greatest minds of psychology today from across the globe to argue in support of the Grieco virus being a true epidemic. By using HCwDB’s 6 year catalog of evidence as proof to back up the theory, the show could help forge it into scientific fact! (As if you haven’t done that already) HA!
So thanks for sticking with it Boss and keep it up for sure! This is one of few sites on the net that I really never miss and truly enjoy.
My hat is off sir…
~Battlescrote Galactica
Well done, DB1! As everyone knows 6 internet years is like 19 real years.
Hello Kitty can move on, but she just can’t be without douche royalty. Somewhere a lonely King is pulling down his Toughskins and hooking his testicles up to a Diehard with heavy duty Craftsman alligator clips.
Yes, the mock must go on, Db1. It is a true public service you perform.
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Like this performance re-enactment of Darksock, Jr. showing his buds how his dad crashed the boat:
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… and Fuck Fish Slap.
@Southern Scrotic, Amen to that.
My Canadian liver and HRH Queen Elizabeth salute HDwDB. Milk Thistle is the shit for not dying of cirrhosis while you tear through life drunk. That and lots of vegetable juice with a shot of organic apple cider vinegar and a dash of Tabasco (respect). Three years ago a doctor in the ER told me I would be dead by now. I told him to fuck off before he suspended my driver’s license.
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I was a prescription drug addict and raging moonshine brewer when I was first linked to this site by some defunct blog I used to view in the middle of the night as a depressed insomniac. Since then I have moved back to my agrarian hometown from wretched Toronto with it’s multicultural fag-loving bullshit and been a better father to my children because of this site. HCwDB saw me through a quick rehab from which I relapsed immediately.
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Now that things have settled down and the young’ns are in school I have started working again and my interests in the aesthetics of economics and mathematics have rekindled my academic lust. I stopped beating Mrs. Kroeger during ass play after she got the partnership in the firm and am preparing to take my role as caretaker as my parents get older and I get to use my power of attorney to buy a luxury cruiser with which to ply the mighty St. Lawrence River and pick up young chicks so I can lick their menstruation as my wife works another Saturday afternoon. And after these troubled years I find myself a prescriptionless drug addict and rabid consumer of store-bought alcohol and still an insomniac, but Lenny The Box helps me with that with some of his unprescribables. So I can thank HCwDB for leading me to a healthier lifestyle devoid of the by-products of home distillation. And nothing says congratulations like a little shout out from Terry Reid. Stay smoky my friends. Friends, I says.
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BattleScrote makes an excellent point — while the 2023 Googleheim Exhibit will provide an artistic retrospective, the true goal is to have the douche virus included in the Merck Home Health Manual as a warning to parents and their spawn.
Jeebus. We’re only one short of the Four Herpsmen in that photo.
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Congrats DB1…keeping anything going on the Internet for six years is worth being proud of. Making money off it is even better.
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Mayans.
*takes bottle of Goose from douchebag*
*uncorks bottle, slams contents*
*beats douchebag with empty Goose*
*delivers stunned douchebag for sale*
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Happy anniversary, boss. *hic*
I’m a lurker but I thought this would be as good a time to make my first post. First of all congratulations to this site & DB1. I crack up every time I come on here and by come on here I mean read the posts. For the most part I think you are all a bit twisted with the exception of The Reverend Chad Kroeger. He seems to be the sanest of the bunch.
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Anyway John couldn’t make it today as he’s working a construction gig up in Bakersfield so he wanted me to let you know that approves of this site as does Kip, Jan and the rest of the Largeman family. He said he’ll raise a glass of MUG® rootbeer in DB1’s honor later tonight.
When the site started, where bleeths doing shiznit like this?
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http://youtu.be/2CTQESW40tA
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Sierra Clubists
I feebley raise a glass of grapefruit juice and quietly set it down in your honor as I hold my hungover sinuses with the heel of my other had. Well done sir. Here’s to another six equally educating and entertaining years.
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I’m goin’ back to bed.
If the King’s celebrating and Hello Kitty’s doll-like, witless eyes are any indication, we could be at this a lot more than 6 more years.
Has it been 6 years already? Why it was just yesterday that I hurled my first mock at a most deserving mandana sporting douchetard, to wit I was rewarded with the laughter and respect of my peers here.
And by “laughter and respect” I mean, one slightly used bottle of Night Train with a cigarette butt in it, a giant barely lubed butt plug, and a partridge that Darksock had spliced with a pear tree….just to see it shit fruit.
Yep…good times indeed…
Only been posting on here for about 9 months but here’s to 6 wonderful years of mock DB1, and to all the mockers out there live long and prosper in a non douchey kind of way.
This is the only site I’ve ever blogged on.
Hunters for Life.
Son.
You think Db1 has a tough job? Check out this poor sap, Sam Rhima
Congratulations on 6 years, but how long until the douche threat is gone? This may be war that never ends, and the enemy will become even more entrenched. It may be our children’s children’s children will be fighting this battle into the far future. Will it end with one side destroying the other, or will it be mutually assured destruction? Whatever the outcome, at least I won’t die wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt.
Has it been six years? My oh my. Why, it seems like just yesterday that we first slurped the doodie p, and now here we are. All growed up. And by “growed up” I mean still trying to outdick each other. Faggoths.
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Good times.
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(**sigh**)…I miss pfah.
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Plinky, not so much.
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I’d like to thank John Largeman’s Chesseburger and the extended clan of Largemans (or Largemen?) for the sanity plea.
Congrats to DB1! I have been reading this site for years. Keep up the good work. Coming here is always a welcome break in my day.
Congratulations and thanks to DB1 and the contributors. Who – to me at least – make this site an erudite circus carnival of snark.
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@skrag2112 – Douchebaggery may, frustratingly, be endemic to humanity, and not an epiphenomenon of modern culture. And so our goal may be more marginalization than erradication.
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And so here’s to 6 years of HCwDB’s brand of Stetson Kennedyesque mock as frown power.
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@Hermit – The more I consider whether “The Cell Phone Bathroom Self Portrait” is the greatest crisis of modernity, the more I consider you to be right.
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Recursions
Congrats boss. This was the first blog I actually started commenting on. The posts brought me in, and reading the banter in the comments threads kept me coming back for more.
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Maybe one day we’ll run into each other at the Ralph’s on Wilshire and we can raise our brown bagged Night Train to the continuance of the war.
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Douche on!
I’ve been a daily reader since 2007 and you DB1 and all the regs have brightened many a deary day here in the wet wet North west. Mock on …and get sum!
Congratulations, boss. I don’t know what I’d do without this site…
@ The Reverend Chad Kroeger
You are welcome
Save a slice of cake for Hermit, I assume he likes cake.
Where does one purchase a spray on beard template? Chess King?
What? Did somebody die??
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Chag Sameach, DB1 !!
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Circumcisers.
Man I’d like to drip some of my secret sauce on Hello Kittys Titties.
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Isn’t that Bree Olson wedged in between those two sperm farts? And isn’t that the Asian homo who trashed Anna Nicole Smith’s house?
Hello Kitty Hott makes my logic circuits overheat and shutdown like an android from Star Trek (the one from the 60’s, you punks). Right brain: “good god that is one hot blonde”. Left brain:” she is completely irredeemable”. Right brain:” she’s wearing two tiny scraps of vinyl and stilletto’s, in a dance club!”. Left brain:” exactly my point, drooling moron”. Right brain:” TWO TINY SCRAPS! On that bangin’ body! Must have!” Left brain:” total bleeth, blank stare, I don’t care how freaking hot she is, she is corrupted!”. Right brain:’ Grooooooo!” Left brain: silence
Hello Kitty Bleeth is at Model Mayhem. I believe her name is Vina (?). Some other ‘hunter linked to it a couple weeks ago. She’s on fb, too.
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I’m over her.
DB1’s revenge?
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http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/29/arts/television/paul-delvecchio-stars-in-mtvs-pauly-d-project.html
Been a while since i posted a song parody. But given it’s HCwDB’s birthday I could’t resist.
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For all you hatterz out there.
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Lifestyles of the Hott and the Douchebag, to the tune of Good Charlotte’s Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
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Always see ‘em at the beach
In the clubs with hair of bleach
Suckle-pooch just out of reach
As we watch them waste their lives
We don’t dare tell our wives
How we’d like to get inside each peach
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See the scrotes there by their side
Shave groin reveal got no pride
Abs and tats they just won’t hide
To smack them with a piece of poo
It’s the least that we can do
Dickish haterz one and all!
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Lifestyles of the Hott and the Douchebag
The ‘Taint and the Club-Hag
Asspear and Cro’mag
No Money? Hell that’s no problem
They all got trust funds
See how they rob them
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Well did you know if you’re a douchebag you can ink your face
Flash your middle finger to the human race
And hot chicks with bloated racks, will chase you ‘round the place
But if you ever had the nerve to ask a bleeth to dance
She’d laugh so hard she’d pee a little in her pants
Let you sniff the crack of her ass out of pity
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Walkin’ round in their orange skin
Wastin’ life sin after sin
Buy it all on credit cards
And so we mock them every day
Wastes of flesh we make them pay
Pretty sure the guys are gaaaaaay.
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Lifestyles of the Hott and the Douchebag
silicone funbags
posing for club schwag
We mock them because they’re ass clowns
We bruise their egos
They demand take-downs
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Lifestyles of the Hott and the Douchebag
Internet ‘pic tags
Chicks we would all shag
We comment, because we don’t care
If DB1 loved us, he’d post more Ass Pear
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Lifestyles of the Hott and Douchebag
We’ll mock your clothes, cash, hair, and skin nothing’s off limits
Lifestyles of the Hott and Douchebag
Lifestyles of the Hott and Douchebag
Lifestyles of the Hott and Douchebag
Happy Fuccen Birthday, Boss! May we have 6 more years of unfettered hattin’ and douche mockin’!
congrats on 6 years, here is to many more years
Six years? Well, that’s just ducky. Congrats there DB1. I’ve been here I think about 4 of those years. I remember Plinky and Pfah and bcs and many others who have come and left a special skidmark on my heart and then vamoosed to other pastures. But I’m still here – not as active I was – I’m too damn busy – heck I don’t even have time to wipe the skidmarks off my heart much less finish my PhD.
And the picture – wow – four prongs, King Douchious, and a zombie bleeth. Now, that’s CULTURE!
My God, has it been six years already? Well, no, not for me. But those of y’all for whom it has, and those who’ve made my time here so much fun, please accept my gratitude. From the bottom of my soul to the tip of my penis, as the aptly named Peter O’Toole once said, you have my thanks. Congrats on six years, DB1, and here’s to six times six more. Unless of course the scourge is eradicated in the meantime, in which case the site becomes Hot Chicks Who Finally Came to Their Senses. One can only hope.
Before I found this site I suffered from seizures and irritable bowel syndrome. Now I’m nearly seizure-free and studying to be a certified yoga instructor.
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Thanks D B 1!
Another great thread, h8ers!!!
Before I found this site, I was terrified of all things internet, especially memes. Now I’m just terrified of all things. Thanks DB1!
6 years of selling those shitty Bag Chairs by credit card.
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This guy couldn’t sell pussy in a whorehouse.
Congratulations on 6 years of holding up a mirror to the worst parts of our culture. And by culture, I mean the kind of thing that grows in petri dishes.
And poor King Douchous IV, looks like he is fighting a horrible infestation of beard termites.
On a side note, have you guys ever thought about what it would be like to see someone from the Hall of Scrote in the wild? I mean not that any of the regs here probably frequent clubs, but you have to figure these people need to go to places like Target every now and then.
Like George H.W. Bush, Four Prongs seems far less scary since he’s out of Presidential Politics.
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Why?
Douche bags don’t have a calender,and these three assume Halloween is March 29th. Happy Birthday.
HBD HCwDB. King D & 4Prong…..FU.
congratulations, and here’s to at least 6 more. it is no mean feat to be consistently original and funny (for the right reasons), about ‘bags, the most consistently unoriginal, and funny (for the wrong reasons), people on earth.
Will Flyteeth be making an appearance in honor of the anniversary? Or did the state hospital permanently cut off his Internet access?
@Douche Spingsteen
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Mrs. Kroeger and I were getting an oil change at Wal Mart in our hometown a few Easter’s ago and what should fly out of the oil filter section than a full blown douche with earbot, chains, hanging shiny pants, the hair, big watch and everything else. We were so stunned we missed our chance to catch him on film
Thanks for the mammories. Keep it up!
ARGH! these 3 together AGAIN?!? the universe truly is merciless…
if SS, fishslap, DD or stackhouse joins them the horsemen prophecy will be fulfilled! (hello kitty is clearly disease)
I got my ass up
Early on a Friday morn
Where is the Haiku?
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‘Sock is a Slacker
What the fuck, comma — over?
I go back to bed
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🙂
6 years is a testament to stability, tenacity & dedication!
I salute you boss….thanx for the yucks!
Slurpin’ the Doodi P, indeed…
I am renaming this photo “Weekend at Kitty’s”
6 years one joke, this site becomes more like three’s company every year.
trippers.
Congrats, bitches!
@ Rev. Chad,
I think that might be a common thing among hunters. My uncle was telling me about the first time he was hunting moose in Alaska and when he came across one in the wild, he was too awestruck to shoot at it. He just stood there and watched it. I would have probably done the same had I seen a prime ‘bag specimen in the wild, just standing there staring, too dumbstruck to work the camera app on my phone.
This site is the best! Daily mock must be maintained – for the good of mankind!
i would very much like to draw a 1/2 gallon of milk from her jugs
I’m just an April foole for postin’ so late, but happy 6th. Boss-man.
You do-do it like no other, then all the posters out-do-do it better’n Samurai Scrote riffin’ his gee-tar with DarkSock.