Monday, April 30, 2012

    HCwDB After Dark: His Name is Mok


    Thanks a lot.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 30, 2012

    The Velveteen Babbit

    … and little Johnny cried and cried… for his lip herp meant the villagers had to stone and set fire to the Velveteen Babbit, so she would not spread her rampant disease across the town… but the next morning, a *real* Velveteen Babbit appeared on little Johnny’s doorstep! And the moral of the story is love for stuffed animals prepares you for medical plagues…

    Velveteen.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 30, 2012

    Homegrown Hannah Approves of the HCwDB of the Week

    And by approves, Homegrown Hannah means moving on to Tool Johnson: Legend of Asswipus Britannica.

    Yor does not approve.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 30, 2012

    HCwDB of the Week: The Bishop and Homegrown Hannah

    Just barely edging Oldbag Ralph and Dreamgirl Donna, The Bishop’s stupidhead and Homegrown Hannah’s homegrowns nanas were too tough a dialectic to ignore.

    For what are we here if wherefore not to mock the choadal head and lust the perkage bobble?

    Other ‘bags of note, the BvG named Marmoset and Sluthott Kelly from the Friday Haiku, Keyser Shmoeze’s Ladies of Perfect Leg, Moaz’s Stupid Hair and Stacey, Clown Hardy Gets Lucky, and Jesus Bling Boy.

    Not a bad week, or should I say a ‘bag week. Get it? Because ‘bag sounds like ba-… okay nevermind.

    I hereby decry that this week is ESOTERIC REFERENCE WEEK.

    Every post will have an esoteric reference to something random. Wait, that was redundant.

    Monchichi.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Sunday, April 29, 2012

    You Can’t Keep a Douchebag D.J. Away From Sucking on YouTube

    And the inexorable death knell for creativity within the human species continues.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Saturday, April 28, 2012

    Comment of the Week: Olddog1


    Olddog1 starts off on a boobie rant, and ends up wistfully pondering Sarah Michelle Geller’s career, in the Moaz Has High Hair thread and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:

    ———–
    She looks like Paris Hilton, with boobs. Or at least slightly larger boobs. Maybe Paris’s younger, better looking sister. She does not look like Buffy. SMG was never that cute. BTW, I am and always will be a big Buffy fan, but face it, SMG was only picked because she was little and she had worked on soap operas. Fox thought she might have a following and they thought they were getting a teen soap. Boy were they wrong.
    ———-

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, April 27, 2012

    Friday Thoughts and Links

    Prada bags. For men. Just don’t call them a “murse.”

    I’ve been in kinda a mood lately. Not sure why. The world is stupid, we know this. But sometimes I’m more hopeful. And other times I see Grieco Virus in even the darkest corners of our haunting collective unconscious.

    Then again, the 2000s were stupid. And the 1990s were stupid, too. Perhaps more so. We stood around with too much time on our hands and too much money and thought things like Presidential Peepee and Brittney Spears were interesting.

    So there’s that.

    But on our collective death beds, we will all achieve total consciousness. So we got that going for us.

    Here’s your links:

    Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “I admire you as a policeman. Particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job.”

    Ubiquitous Red Cup: For the Aristocracy

    And Now, in “Elegunce” model.

    Dubstep. Everyone’s talking about it. No one really knows what it is. And in six months, no one will care. So enjoy Dubstep Cat.

    You know what never gets old? The fart from Zapped.

    The Ab-Hancer. For the laziest of the lazybags.

    Okay, you’ve been good. Here you go:

    Spherical Denim Pear

    Or, as the mathematicians measure it, 3.1415gnawchompbitesuckle

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, April 27, 2012

    Places to Store Your Cigarettes #42

    Well, I suppose it’s better than the pooper.

    Yup. That’s as creative as it gets on a Friday.

    I shouldn’ta eaten all those Twinkies yesterday.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, April 27, 2012

    Friday Haiku

    Behold Rocker Todd:
    Knows how to make barre chords, but
    Can’t put on a shirt

    Glenn Danzig Old Bag
    Instead of singing “Mother”
    Brings her to next gig.

    – Douche Wayne

    Leather, mesh, hair, dirt
    Reminiscent of one thing
    My bathtub’s drain hole

    – Justin

    Hercules, Xena
    Have seen better days than this

    Now battle the herp

    – Dude McCrudeshoes

    It places the shirt
    In the basket or it gets
    The hose. Her skin hose.

    – The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Ratt. Jackyll. Great White.
    Best animal names taken.
    Meet Marmoset.

    – Baron Von Goolo

    Yeah, I’d tap that hott.
    I’d flop like a fish in nets.
    Freeing butterfly!

    – Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

    twenty-six reds and
    a bottle of wine should take
    care of Rocker Todd

    – Douche Springsteen

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Thursday, April 26, 2012

    Clown Hardy Can’t Wait to Post About His Amazing Night on Reddit

    The lost Kardashian Sister, Shaniqua Kardashian, offers rarest of sexy belly button pokey lotus flower, while Sandra Dee giggles melifluously and keeps her legs properly posed to prevent Holy Turquoise Triangle reveal.

    And if I ain’t making sense, blame Twinkie #9.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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