Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Nerdy Melvin Gets Lucky

Here’s the thing Melvin, and can I call you Melvin?

Assuming you don’t bat for the home team, there’s really only one rule when you’re lucky enough to get Porny Lacey Boobie Suckle Thigh Maria to “Woo!” with you at the requisite pool party.

Rule #1: No Cell-Phone-Speedo.

I might’ve even let the stupid glasses go.

But no.

You are douche.

Boobs.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
Loading ... Loading ...
# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
1:42 pm April, 18 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ouch!!!

1:45 pm April, 18 DarkSock said...

Get back in the Cabin, Cabin Boy!
.
I want to smell her buttocks.

1:47 pm April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

How can we live in a world where a flaming H-mo and his hags can’t party by the pool with tiny peen and cell phone on display? Will someone please save these women from being told to “Work it, gurls.”

1:52 pm April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

The above comment was sent from that guy’s iSpeedo.

1:55 pm April, 18 Nancy Dreuche said...

It’s always embarrassing when Mom and Aunt Sandy want to take the Christmas card photo poolside.

1:56 pm April, 18 Douche of Hazzard said...

Pink should get that thing on her leg checked.

2:00 pm April, 18 jonezy said...

When Cammie and Tammie butt bounce each other there’s that distinct sound of slime being pulled from the tube (oh glorious childhood sound memories)

2:14 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

He’s got flaming jock itch splashing out his Speedo.
.
Melvin invented Accidental Cocck Dialing

2:19 pm April, 18 Wheezer said...

He picked up the ladies by claiming, “I am McLuckin.”
.
Of course, they’re just playing along and seeing if he can actually get a boner. ‘Taint happenin’.

2:34 pm April, 18 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Air Thteward’s need thome time to have phun too you big, big ,homo’th. No racist.

2:40 pm April, 18 The Dude said...

Dear God, I love fat chicks!

2:48 pm April, 18 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I am in love with the middle one.
.
.And by “in love” I mean I’d like to be hunching and ejaculating on her left butt cheek like the guy on the right.
.
.
.Onanists

2:51 pm April, 18 baffomet said...

The middle one has a little FUPA growing on her.

It’s sheer genius that it acts like a cock block for good ol’ Melvin’s little peen.

3:05 pm April, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

That guy’s Speedo just called to say it was killing itself.

3:06 pm April, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

That girl’s shin mole just called to say it disgusts itself.

3:07 pm April, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

The middle girl’s bathing suit cover-up just called to say it used to cover the infield at Yankee Stadium.

3:08 pm April, 18 Doucheywallnuts said...

Tiger Woods just called to say he wouldn’t bang either broad even if they worked as waitresses in an Ozark Pancake House.

3:09 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

The girls from Right to Left:
.
FAR RIGHT GIRL: Meh
.
MIDDLE GIRL: I would marry you!!
(My wife would be a tad upset about that, so we would have to keep it our little secret.)
.
FAR LEFT GIRL: Hair is too short, and boobs are too small.
.
ASvB

3:10 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Another way to spell cocck= “CCOKC”
.

3:11 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

Thanks Doucheywallnuts for pointing out the Shin Mole. Nothing kills a good Woody like the ever wonderful, Shin Mole.
.
ASvB

3:13 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

They all have one thing in common, they love the cock.
.
ASvB

3:15 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

They just got through eating at the local eatery.
He had Trouser Trout, smothered in underwear, with cream gravy.
.
ASvB

3:16 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

The only way he’s getting into their panties, is if they let him wear them.
.
ASvB

3:22 pm April, 18 Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...

I bet he has a 2″ monster just waiting to tear some balloon knot to pieces.
.
ASvB

4:10 pm April, 18 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Another round of crantinis and he’ll be getting double pegged by these two back up in the hotel room.

6:32 pm April, 18 Nostradouchus said...

Girl in the white would make a great pear photo. Fact.

7:51 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Caption: The background singers for punk rockers, “Semen Monicle”, take a break from giving back stage blowies to work on their tans

7:52 pm April, 18 troy tempest said...

Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because he’s making a new photo series – “Instagrams of my TAINT”

7:54 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

The Penguins must have watched Texas take apart the Red Sox last night. 10-3 ? Wow

7:55 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because the auto-timer squirts “Tough Acting Tenactin ” every five minutes on his wee ball sack

7:57 pm April, 18 Vin Douchal said...

Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because it’s usual spot up his ass is occupied with a Hot Dog on a Stick

8:36 pm April, 18 Stephanie said...

Melvin looks challenged by everything.

6:00 am April, 19 troy tempest said...

Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because his CCOKC needs to call his brain and say “WAKE UP! BOOBIES!!!”

6:02 am April, 19 troy tempest said...

Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because his nadsack needs to IM her Boobies and let them know he’s not gay this afternoon.

6:05 am April, 19 troy tempest said...

Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because every message he gets gives him a thrill because it’s set to vibrate like a clit ring.

6:06 am April, 19 troy tempest said...

Melvin’s peen is so tiny, it’s like an acorn stuck to the bottom of his torso.

7:33 am April, 19 Jim Beam said...

Anyone care to start a pool on where these knuckleheads are from? Typical midwesterners trying to come west living out their Kim K fantasies with lily white skin. You see them later that night at TGI Fridays, red as lobsters.

My guess is that these choads are from Chicago . . .

8:10 am April, 19 Anonymous said...

I have them from Lincoln, Nebrah!ska. Take that, Abe.
.
.
Four whores and twenty grand ago…

11:27 am April, 19 CB Popped said...

Shinmole…..good band name.

8:14 pm April, 19 Didgeridouche said...

I have scoliosis & I can stand up straighter than this choad.

Leave a Reply