Monday, April 30, 2012

The Velveteen Babbit

… and little Johnny cried and cried… for his lip herp meant the villagers had to stone and set fire to the Velveteen Babbit, so she would not spread her rampant disease across the town… but the next morning, a *real* Velveteen Babbit appeared on little Johnny’s doorstep! And the moral of the story is love for stuffed animals prepares you for medical plagues…

Velveteen.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
12:18 pm April, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Chen Guangcheng has been in US protection for only a day, and he’s already maxed out his Union Pay card and had his camera stolen.

12:20 pm April, 30 ma said...

I’d destroy every species of life on antarcitca [sic] using carbon monoxide poisoning just to meet the metallurgist who cold-pressed the prototype of that pendant dangling in heavenly-body that is her cleavage-musk.

12:20 pm April, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This bleeth is the entry level option on the paid to pose circuit. 35 cents for a picture, another 50 cents and you can use her facial oil to waterproof your shoes.

12:21 pm April, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Yeaster Bunny

12:28 pm April, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ Not the Bleethter Bunny?

12:33 pm April, 30 Wheezer said...

The doc used a batting helmet for the boobie mold.

12:45 pm April, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@ Doc, I detect the sour smell of yeast coming from her fun buns. Although from looks alone, I’d say they look like a couple uncanned spams.

12:45 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Someone always brings their nerdy virgin friend to the bachelor party for their first tug job,
.
Looks like Lemon Face here has the “Teal Tipped Grip Of Steel” that only a weight lifting supermarket cashier can develop into a side job

12:58 pm April, 30 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Wow, this broad has some serious miles on her. Chang gets a notta pass as I don’t believe we’ve ever seen a bag in a cardigan sweater before.

1:08 pm April, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Confucious say:
.
Respectable man always gets VD after PHd.
.
Computer Scientists (No Racist)

1:13 pm April, 30 Bag A said...

Ha Ha! It’s “Two Word Tuesday” milf from 4/3/12!

1:23 pm April, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Dude
.
I hear ya. I was gonna just call her roadkill but then I thought about the poor animals that actually lose their lives getting run over by vehicles. She on the other hand could stop a semi with those looks. Yeesh! And to class it up, she even wore black flats with that “outfit”. We need a Nancy ruling here on the potential fashion faux pas.

1:24 pm April, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’d say each one of her trampy trampolines looks like that guy’s head in “Scanners” before it explodes.

1:27 pm April, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Bag A,
Good call on her previous appearance.

1:41 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Sexy Semetic red head, Jenny Lewis is , uh, sexy and redheaded. This song is so-so but she has all the smoky stage moves down
.

1:45 pm April, 30 jonezy said...

*in Axl Rose singing voice*
.
“My!… My!…. My Velveteeeeeen!
.
I wanna hear you scream…”

2:03 pm April, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@ Dude McCrudeshoes
.
Yeaster Runny

2:07 pm April, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Next on Mythbusters; Tranny’s Can’t Get Yeast Infections! Remember folks, don’t try this at home, we’re experts!”

2:08 pm April, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

She doesn’t just have man hands, he/she has man troll hands.

2:09 pm April, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

“Lady, you give me fi dolla now for lunch delivery!”

2:11 pm April, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

That’s not the kissy lips face. She’s just deciding whether to spit or swallow.

2:16 pm April, 30 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

You know when you were a kid and you got that huge chocolate Easter Bunny in your basket? And you were so stoked because hey, who doesn’t love chocolate and this was more chocolate than you’d ever had, even on Halloween when those f*ckers were still giving out the Circus Peanuts and the individual small Tootsie Rolls or Bit-o-Honeys and acting like they were filling your bag with candy goodness.
.
And you would just look at that Easter Bunny, wondering if it was solid or hollow, praying that it was solid so that you’d have even more chocolate to enjoy. Once you tore the wrapper off, would you have the will power to eat just a little, saving your bounty, savoring its rich goodness over days, nay weeks? Or would you give in to temptation and wolf the whole thing down in one sitting, knowing that you would be sick later but not caring one bit this was Chocolate CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE!!!
.
And where would you start? Would you gnaw off a paw and leave the poor Bunny crippled and unable to escape? Would you lick away at its ears until they were soggy chocolate nubs? Or, with a wicked grin, would you snip off the Bunny’s tail and swallow it whole?
.
When you were young those decisions were some of the best you ever made because, any way you went, it was CHOCOLATE and you won.
.
Now, with the Yeaster Runny, any path you take in consuming this mouldering orange cunny rabbit is sure fill your eager mouth with a rich, oozing, creme filling not unlike semi-digested Peeps. Start at the head, start at the tail, makes no difference with this overstuffed duck-billed wabbit. The question you have to ask yourself is do you want your treat now, or later? And by treat I mean STD shots.

2:16 pm April, 30 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The PusseyPeen Rabbit

2:26 pm April, 30 Vin Douchal said...

She needs some Cockamole on her Faceadilla

2:35 pm April, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

This is the elusive Bizzarro Greico Virus in action. The powerful Bleethwaves emitting from the Bleethster Bunny here will be too strong for the Asian guy from Heros to resist. After this pic was taken he went out and bought an Ed Hardy cap and then hit up the nearest Thai Sauna.
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@Doc B, you are quite right. To pair flats with a hoetard is fashion backwards. She should be wearing high heels or thigh high boots. Also she needs to cut holes in the boobage area. She is leaving entirely too much to the imagination. I like my skanks like I like my coffee, spiked and cheap.

3:33 pm April, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think his expression is dead on here: WTF am I supposed to do with this? I can’t put it by the curb because it would be littering but I can’t give it to the United Way because, well, because.

3:36 pm April, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Nancy
.
I guess Mrs. Doc Bunsen’s endless hours of that fuccen Heidi Klum show have paid off. Good Lord, I noticed her shoes. *weeps silently in the corner*

3:38 pm April, 30 Stephanie said...

And she uses her hands in horror films too. That bunny scratches the eyes out of her victims.

3:46 pm April, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The Beaster Cunny

6:35 pm April, 30 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Doc B., I’m sorry for loss. Never got into that show. Maybe next time try thinking about baseball when she makes you watch it. I know that works with other things.

9:00 pm April, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’d love to comment but the mere mention of the Velveteen Rabbit gets me all choked up and wantin’ to cry salty fuccen tears. True story.

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