Friday Haiku
“I guess I could double
His fat, salt and carb intake”,
Jan sulked to herself…
All of Tony’s loot
Wasn’t enough to keep Jan
From boning his son
– saulgoode42
One million dollars
Each time I let this fat ass
On top of me. Woo!
– The Dude
This is what happens
When one wants to be the next
Anna Nicole Smith
– Charles Nelson Douchely
Money can’t buy love
But it can make a fat guy
Rich in blowies, Sons.
– Pooch Spackle
The remembers the
First time he mounted her. Her
Mons Pubis was crushed.
– v
Hide the Viagra
She thinks as he palms her ass
Holding back vomit
– Doucheywallnuts
She bangs really hard
Trying to loosen the stints
Heart bypass gold mine
– Vin Douchal
Money can’t buy love
But it can buy a tank top
that hides man teats. Hint.
– Pooch Spackle
Ahab did it wrong:
Best way to catch great white whale –
Spear him with whorepoon.
– Sir Huddleston Fuddleston
800 Euros
Buys you a Moldovan girl
Keep passport in safe
– Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
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All of Tony’s loot
Wasn’t enough to keep Jan
From boning his son
Travel ad saying
“Frolic with the whales” did not
Mention they were ‘bags.
One million dollars
Each time I let this fat ass
On top of me. Woo!
Population of
endangered manatee
making strong comeback.
Jan soon found out that
sun, sand and surf don’t agree
with latex sex dolls.
This is what happens
When one wants to be the next
Anna Nicole Smith
DB1 and wife
Number 2 on vacation
Happy Birthday Guy!
^Change vacation to walkabout. Almost forgot about that little gem.
Ed McMahon’s corpse
Washes up. Jan sees dollars.
With Weekend at Ed’s.
He hasn’t exhaled
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Saulgoode is first/best!
Epic loot and bone Haiku.
For the Front Page win!
The water was clear
Until she loosened the valve
On ostomy bag.
How do you like THIS,
Daddy who neglected me?
Shame is my veangeance.
Money can’t buy love
But it can make a fat guy
Rich in blowies, Sons.
Meditteranean
Ads for Beano cause water
To carbonate.
When she changes his
Diaper she gets a little
Horny for father.
The beach will bubble
With a putrid flow when the
Metamucil kicks in.
He hasn’t shit once
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
When Captain Ahab
Finally caught her great white
whale. She hugged it first.
Hannibal Lectur
Prepares next victim for death.
Silence Of The Hams.
Cmon guys maybe
She likes him because he is
Funny and smart. Heh.
If it gets cold she
can crawl inside his giant
monkey hole for warmth.
It’s so sad the world
Doesn’t see him as he is
Fat, old meal ticket
“It’s okay babe. That
“No Fatties” Rule is only
on the S.S. Sock.
She remembers the
First time he mounted her. Her
Mons Pubis was crushed.
What
The
Fuck!
A big bank account
Off sets having big man boobs
In the “Land of Bleeth”
“Titanic 2: The
Iceberg Is Calling From In
Side The Boat” Scene 12
I am the Walrus
She’s a bleeth as you are me
We prove that Poo floats
Gobal warming causes
confused Walrus to
wash up on Bond Girl set
Global warming causes
confused Walrus to
wash up on Bond Girl set
After Leo D.
And Brady. Giselle slums it
with fat millionaire.
Hide the Viagra
She thinks as he palms her ass
Holding back vomit
How can we live in
a world where money is a
aphrodesiac?
He made his fortune
With Kenny Rogers Roasters.
Then he ate Kenny.
Greek tycoon feasted
On too much calamari. Has
Tiny tenticle.
Old age creeping up
At night. No, not death’s sweet touch…
Daddy wants anal again.
Beneath water line
Lurks an awful, shriveled peen
Looking for piss flaps
Dark Sock says he peed
In a belly button once
But this one’s too big.
Wonder if he saved
her from the clutches of a
‘nother rich douchebag
The Michelin Man
Scores groupie on Va-Cay. AND
Tire-tracked shorts come clean!
If you have sex with
her after him be prepared
to smell Ben-Gayed taint.
Boys and Girls listen
This pic shows us why college
is so important
Some hot Euro tramp
Politi-dude, whatever
Facebook still sucks ass
She bangs really hard
Trying to loosen the stints
Heart bypass gold mine
Cognex for memory
Cialas for good “duro”
Still forgets her name
Kostas Largemanos
Wheeling, dealing ship builder
With trophy wife nine
Mons pubis signals
“Time of month” beacon for sharks
Peter Benchley smiles
Jan bobs on his nob
She counts to herself each stroke
One two three euros
She ain’t messing with
no broke wiggas. She is mess-
ing with fat old guy.
On the set of the
sequel to “10″. Dudley is
so Moore than before.
If I had a dime
for everytime I banged a
rich man. I’d be broke.
Money can’t buy love
But it can buy a tank top
that hides man teats. Hint.
I couldn’t look away,
“My eyes, my eyes”
And Jesus wept.
Wealthy Whale Creatures
In the Autum of their lives
Need love too
She clings lightly to him
posing with obvious distain
thinking how tragic it would be to die first
Flavio Briatore
Elisabetta Gregoraci
Too many syllables for the Mediterranean douche whistles.
Hes not fat. He is
carrying their baby made
of pure gold. Ka-ching!
Would you believe that
This oil slick of douche also
Fucked Heidi Klum, son?
^Wait wha? And yes, I believe anything I read in the haikus. Especially my stuff.
@McCrudeshoes, Sorry, what I meant to say is, I believe it she fucked a Seal, not hard to believe she would fuck a whale too. Please accept my apologies for the lag time between your comment and my zippy comeback.
My momma told me,
“Money can’t buy happiness”.
But it buys fine tail.
Gut Cassidy and
The Sundance Gold-digger. Wait -
I know how this ends.
He checks, all ok now:
Viagra suppos’tories
Still wedged in butt crack.
Momma don’t let your
babies grow up to be whores:
Might pick step-father!
Ahab did it wrong:
Best way to catch great white whale –
Spear him with whorepoon.
“Wanna see my yacht?”
It sounded like harmless fun
Now she’s held hostage
Little does she know
His will has been finalized
She isn’t in it
800 Euros
Buys you a Moldovan girl
Keep passport in safe
Wait! No Front Page, yet?
This ain’t goin’ to Sunday?
Sock in boat or horse?
Later tonight when
Asked for the password, he will
Say “Fidelio”
a fat billionaire
and a skanky trophy wife:
why the world sucks.
A billion euros
And a Gulfstream, she still won’t
Enjoy fucking him
When Baron DeDouche
Tires of the latest model
She O.D.s and dies
Jan swallows the bile
Of workin’ for a livin’
‘Splains her skin color.
After Greek crisis
Douchebag bankers buy islands
Complete with hot chicks
@FDR why
don’t you pick the winners since
you don’t have a job.
The God of ‘Tang
Bulging Stomach and Gray hair
Hawt Draped Upon Him
Sorry, gents, but this guy is PURE ALPHA. In fact – he is an ALPHA MASTER.
STUPID fuccen WORK!
This would’ve provided me
shitloads of fun, brahs!
“Look at what I get
to hit ev’ry night!: Him: “Her.”
Her: “That fat…..wallet.”
His credit cards have
upper limits. My disgust,
on the other hand…..
Golddigger ass pear…..
boning Flabbio’s a tough
sin to overcome.
HEIDI KLUM had a kid with this fat disgusting bloke… look it up. All true.
It would appear that this, his current wife, is no stranger to the “pay for play” game. From wikipedia:
Gregoraci gained notoriety when it came to light that she had offered sexual favours in return for a job as a showgirl for the Italian national public television company RAI. She was fired from RAI and hired by Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, acting as a hostess in the show Buona Domenica