Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

6:33 am May, 30 Charles Douchewin notloggedin said...

Their sunglasses prevent them noticing that his skin condition has spread to her lower back.

6:36 am May, 30 Charles Douchewin notloggedin said...

Also, I nominate them both for the “Most bizarre eyebrows of the week” award.

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His flat, penciled-in cartoon brows don’t make it beyond his eyeballs – yet hers almost connect with her scalp, then wrap around her head.

6:41 am May, 30 Douche Wayne said...

“I don’t go to church, but I’m WAY religious, yo. DON’T YOU DISRESPECT THE MOTHER OF MY LORD!!”

6:46 am May, 30 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ahh thee ole tramp stamp where many a load of man spackle has gone to rest.

7:05 am May, 30 Flounder said...

@ Et Tu Douche?

You mean the around his neck right?

7:11 am May, 30 Flounder said...

Damn My horrible grasp of the English Language:

You mean the one going around his neck right?

7:16 am May, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

New in Vegas. Tiki Hut Meth Labs.

7:25 am May, 30 creature said...

soon she’ll be Typhoid Mary

8:13 am May, 30 Doucheywallnuts said...

I’m sure the Pope would love to know his likeness is tatted on the forearm of this guy, a forearm that will no doubt work its way up into her vageen at some point.

8:14 am May, 30 Douche Moore said...

Now I know what Groucho Marx would have looked like in a thong. I could have done without that.

8:15 am May, 30 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Virgin of Guadapoope

8:17 am May, 30 troy tempest said...

His tatts aren’t really that bad. They’re on HIM and that’s what makes them awful.

8:19 am May, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Vulcan clown eyebrows for the wtf.

8:22 am May, 30 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Saint Yasmine?

8:22 am May, 30 Nip Flicker said...

ohhh, Connie Connie Connie Connie Connie Connie Connie Connie

8:25 am May, 30 The Dude said...

I ~knew~ I’d post something and wonder how the fuck I started calling myself Nip Flicker?

8:26 am May, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Pooch concealing thongsuit designed to sell you on the pear then surprise you with the buddha belly. McCrude is not fooled. Keep that sloppy mess in the cabana and let’s go trolling for barely legal hotties.

8:36 am May, 30 Full-baked Maroon said...

How can we live in a world where I don’t care about these people anymore. I can’t even get a decent rage buzz off this place like the old days. Skanky skanks with dumb tools.com is more like it. As long as they don’t breed I’m cool with it.

8:46 am May, 30 Capt. James T. Douche said...

McCrude is right, you pop that onesy off her hoping for some tasty mons action and all you’re getting is a healthy dose of tiger striped skin and wrinkly gunt.

8:52 am May, 30 Vin Douchal said...

That cloud is steam releasing from his ears as he tries to calculate a 10% tip

8:52 am May, 30 Full-baked Maroon said...

^nice try James T. But when I’m dead inside I’m dead inside.

9:05 am May, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I hear you, James T. It would be like removing shrink wrap from a sausage casing stuffed with cottage cheese and yogurt. And intuition tells me there is something unnatural hiding behind those shades. Infectious Rick also owns the Brooklyn bridge and working closely with a respected Nigerian banker to liberate millions of $$.

9:24 am May, 30 I R A Darth Aggie said...

At least the ink hasn’t spread to Connie McHott.

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Here’s the first tetanus shot I found under booze:

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Tetanus Shot

Layer in a shot glass.

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Meh…but if I’m going to do whiskey and whiskey, I’d rather have a Rusty Nail.

9:44 am May, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does it literally say “I suck” on his neck? No, I’m actually being serious. I enlarged the pic on my screen (and then immediately regretted doing that) and I swear that’s what it says. Maybe that why the Virgin Mary and the Pope have their respective facial expressions.

9:45 am May, 30 Doucheywallnuts said...

^ That’s one of the lamest drinks I’ve ever heard of.

9:48 am May, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ I R A Darth Aggie

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If you get the correct whiskeys this sounds like it can be a great mix. May I suggest some Johnnie Walker Black label and some Michter’s Straight Rye Single Barrel? I’ll bet you get one helluva good cocktail outta that.

9:50 am May, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Doucheywallnuts

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Not necessarily. Use good whiskeys, get a good drink. Use shitty whiskeys (Old Grandad and Red Cup) you’d get one mega-shitty drink.

9:55 am May, 30 The Dude said...

This shitty drink recipe reminds me of an excellent Kentucky Whiskey I once tasted, called “Lost Hills”. Single malt bourbon. Shit, now I’m thirsty.

10:18 am May, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

That broad has some crazy eyebrows. Seriously, take a close look at ’em.

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I’m guess Sir Wanksalot there spends every possible waking moment shirtless. That would explain why his nipples are slowly migrating towards his armpits. Even they have a sense of shame.

10:21 am May, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Best drink: Moscow Mule.

10:24 am May, 30 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Or a Wiser’s Manhattan. But those are both social drinks. For sitting at home in the den wearing nothing but a bathrobe and a 30.06, scotch or cognac in a tumbler, no ice.

12:58 pm May, 30 CB Popped said...

Moscow Mule sounds awesome.

1:42 pm May, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

Moscow Mule is a hell of a drink. However, with all respect to Jacques Douceteau the traditional serving vessel for the drink is not a Collins glass but a copper mug. Apparently when the drink was first invented at a movie star hangout bar in Hollywood in the 50s (I wonder if Douchey Wallnuts has a story he can regale us with?) it was served up in a copper mug engraved with two mules kicking their feet.

I’m a bit of a history nerd and I take my boozing somewhat seriously. I actually have a sweet copper mug from some vodka company party my friend got us into that was promoting their product and giving out gallons of the stuff. I highly recommend it on those summer nights when it’s too hot for whiskey.

1:43 pm May, 30 Douche Springsteen said...

oh and speaking of mules, I want to donkey punch Connie Thong.

2:23 pm May, 30 Stephanie said...

Two people who can’t get enough attention. Are you kidding me? Now it’s not safe to go near the pool,I have to see some bitch’s ass cheeks. Security,security! there’s some white trash named Connie with her ass hanging out.

There’s actually hotels who ask these guests to leave.

Pretty soon,your bad decisions will not let you go near other people and there’s not much you can do about it.

2:46 pm May, 30 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Douche Springsteen

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There’s a time when it is too hot for whiskey? Bourbon and branch in the form of ice cubes. Ice cubes I says.

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alcoholics (I’m including myself here)

5:53 pm May, 30 Medusa Oblongata said...

Yeah–when the gunt is out there as far as them flapjack tittays, it’s time to hang it up and go beat off to some alpaca porn. That’s why Infectious Rick looks so peeved–the wifi signal at that hotel is dismal.

9:15 pm May, 30 Guid is Good said...

One piece thongs take me back to a better time and place. Cindy Crawford.

circa 1986. I can’t deal with this reality.