Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Trapped in a Skeezer Sandwich
Don’t look down, Kelly!
Those aren’t barstools poking you in the thigh!
Yeah, I got nothin’. Too early. Stupid coffee. Not strong enough. Yet so delicious.
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Worst. Jonas. Brothers. Cover. Band. EVER!
On this 68th anniversary of the most magnificent military operation in the history of mankind. The day when english speaking nations came together for a ubiquitous beatdown of Nazi hubris. A band of hundreds of thousands of comrades-at-arms attacked from the air and by sea to quell the Arian scourge and ultimately cause a bizarro-world cult of personality to kill himself and his whore.
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I grew up with these brave men around me enjoying their lives in a free and prosperous world. They worked, saved, raised pre-yuppies. and lived respectable lives. Lives in which one would take his hat off if a lady entered the room and people shaved their faces and wore crew cuts. They even had daily baths for fucks sake!
Then we see their great-granchildren on these pages douching it up like fucking Copperfield. Girls running around looser and sluttier than a Vietnamese prostitute. Faggots chopping off peoples body parts and bath salters munching on hobo face.
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That generation is gone and with it the common decency they fought for. The end is nigh brothers. Our D-Day fought in a word press blog with the occasional ray of hope in Pear. I’m depressed now. But maybe that’s because I’m being audited by the Feds.
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DiGuardi Tax Lawyers FTW!
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D-Day out. Sons (Respect)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NelBNtNm8l0
Whisky hangovers are not so much fun but I blame it on my unabashed idolization of Rev Chad, the 8 Yuenglings® I drank prior to hitting the whisky and the vaporizer filled with sticky Jack Frost.
The guy on the right probably has every single John Zorn CD recorded, a pair of leather pants and is really into Japanese rope bondage.
I’m writing in Rev. Chad on my ballot this November. Romney and Obama can go to hell.
She’s mediocre looking, but on the plus side, her nipple seems to emit a beam of light. So, she’s got THAT goin for her. Which is nice.
Gunga la gunga … Gunga galunga.
She looks like somebody’s Aunt Linda. Somebody’s sexually starved multi-orgasmic and fully brillo’d mons pubis Aunt Linda, who would have her groin lotion running down your leg.
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For reasons I do not fully understand, I would heartily auger her sodden ham furrow with my turgid and swollen egg rake.
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Horn Dogs.
I bet she smells like Dove soap and Oil of Olay.
Oil of Old Lay
and lest we forget about D-Day…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfOKmr64k_I
That Jon Lovitz sure can pull the hotts.
There are only two things I hate; people who make fun of former SNL cast members and Jon Lovitz.
Every day is D-Day here.
@ Rev Chad
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You fuccen nailed it brother: “Then we see their great-granchildren on these pages douching it up like fucking Copperfield. Girls running around looser and sluttier than a Vietnamese prostitute. ” Question everything, tune in, drop out, fuck personal responsibility. I’m not saying everything was hunky fucking dory in the 50′s and EARLY 60′s but it sure beats what we have now. Now I can blame everyone else but myself for my stupidity AND sue them for it. EVERYmoutherfuckingthing has a warning label on it now. No one will help anybody with even the simplest of shit for fear of being sued. Hell, Mrs. Doc Bunsen tried to help a woman out she didn’t even know yesterday get to her mother’s funeral (in a city my wife is totally unfamiliar with) only to have the woman bitch her out because my wife wouldn’t be her chauffeur for the day(my wife is at a science geek meeting). Really!? Fucking really!? This is EXACTLY why I hate the fucking world and I am exactly like Clint Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino. Just leave me the fuck alone. I come here because I think most of you are of the same ilk as myself and that makes that small lump of coal in my chest grow a size or two. And then I look out my window or deal with a student that thinks they’re entitled to something that they’re not and that lump of coal shrinks just a little more. Man I hate the fuccen world…
@ Et Tu
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Might I suggest cutting out the Yuenglings and substituting some Seagrams ginger ale and a little DiSorrano in with the Eagle Reserve. If you have a high ball glass go 2 fingers Eagle, 1 finger DiSoranno, and a splash or two of Seagrams. It’s pretty fuccen tasty (at least in my opinion) and you’ll soon forget how many you’ve had (Was that #7 or 8?). Don’t know if the drink has a name but if it doesn’t, it should.
Since we are making booze recommendations….
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Either Angel’s Envy bourbon or Templeton Rye, in the rocks with a slice of orange. If you want to highball that shit up, add some high end ginger ale or club – I prefer Schwepps – and guzzle until you think Lindsay Lohan looks good.
@Doc
Thanks for suggestion I’ll give it a try.
Fuck Jon Lovitz. That’s a Diedrich Bader looking mother fucker right there. And more power to him.
@Doucheywallnuts
I recently tried some of that Templeton’s Rye and I highly approve of it. It’s really great with a splash of Reed’s Jamaican Ginger Beer if you’re familiar with that product, comes in a green glass bottle with a palm tree on it.
RevChad hath returned from walkabout. Praise Sheba. What did you bring us, besides your usual contagions?
What’s poking her in the thigh are pencils.