Friday Haiku
It’s douche/bleethe gumbo!
But it’s missing something though…
Toss in a toaster!
~~~
“I love Jacuzzis!”
Thought John, unaware of Jan’s
Savage flatulence
Fetid bath water
Reeks of taco farts and shame
I hope he got laid
– Et Tu Douche?
A threesome sours
When poor anal hygiene fouls
The water and mood.
– Capt. James T. Douche
Bo Derrick on left
Not named after star. Oil rig
Is her deal. Leaves spills.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Hey! That’s no bathtub!
That’s Andre’s big-ass toilet!
Now give ‘er a flush!
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Dysentary is
Always more fun when shared with
Those real close to you.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
She has her leg up
Since the tub stopper was put
In her M****y Hole
– Doucheywallnuts
John forces a grin
Trying to hold anus tight
Corn bath for the Bleeths!
– Capt. James T. Douche
Anal Leakage meme
reverberates on this thread
Pass the Olestra
– SonnyChibaChoad
The smiles will soon
Fade away to psychosis
When bath salts kick in.
– Capt. James T. Douche
Time to call plumber
Sewage pipes backed up again
Draino can’t fix this
– Charles Nelson Douchely
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Fetid bath water
Reeks of taco farts and shame
I hope he got laid
It is a good thing
Herpes is not spread through
Murky bath water
Belmont Stakes Pre-
Party at Douchey Wallnuts’
Pass the gin. N’mean?
Well you know my name
Is Simon and I like to do
Drawing. Oops! I shat.
Hey! Rub a dub,dub.
Three tools in a tub. Got there
By being douchebags.
Jan ponders toe fung
While John thinks to himself
Release the Kraken!!
Is that your leg or
Did your cock grow? That’s not my
Leg baby! Suck it!.
Did somebody queef
A Santorum? Cause that’s not
Bubble bath floating.
Bo Derrick on left
Not named after star. Oil rig
Is her deal. Leaves spills.
Douche delights in kink
Is getting ready for his
Rockstar® enema.
Somehow this guy got
‘Two giggle chicks into tub with
The Willow’s torso.
Is that yellow can
TSP? That’ll clean grease!
But that just leaves ooze.
Girl in green only smart
One. Holds her nose before bag
Springs a sloppy leak.
Can’t believe his luck
Bleethe ponders golden shower
Day-Old Queef lingers
John forces a grin
Trying to hold anus tight
Corn bath for the Bleeths!
Hazing ritual gone
Bad. You pick up the ugly
Guy. But no three-ways?
He hasn’t shaved chest
Since the gyroscopes were put
In their Monkey Holes.
Looking out of place
Like crap in a urinal
Please flush them away
Indoor tub sun shades
Ment to hide red eyes of tears
Unknown urine water
An hour later
EMT’s arrive to pull
Johns pecker from drain.
Anal Leakage meme
reverberates on this thread
Pass the Olestra
Green girl thinking of
How badly it went last time
Roomate had the piles.
Hey! That’s no bathtub!
That’s Andre’s big-ass toilet!
Now give ‘er a flush!
Fish food bottle on
Side of tub ready for the
piranha release.
Jan is still waiting
For her custom-made signage:
“Push Nose For Service”
A threesome sours
When poor anal hygiene fouls
The water and mood.
Sweet tile job on the
Tub. Less grout makes for easy
Enema games cleanup.
Dysentary is
Always more fun when shared with
Those real close to you.
John Ravolta tries
To manage his rep. This says,
“Men? I don’t do Men!”
John enjoys suction
Places anus over drain
Douche guts soil tub.
-
-
Palahniuks
She has her leg up
Since the tub stopper was put
In her Monkey Hole
Reminds me of the
Time my roomate had to have
Genital warts lazered.
Turd water is so
European enjoy the
Hepatitis A.
Friendly romp in the tub
turns serious
when the tennis balls are introduced.
Dude’s having fun. A bit
Queezy. Won’t feel it when girls
Ride his limb-free stump.
Bernice, on the right.
Proudly shows her digit. Gave
John Prostate Exam.
That is not what they
Mean by boiling the crabs
Now shave your pubes off.
New age Jacuzzi
Saves lots of energy. But
Causes geenhouse gas.
Susan on the left.
Struggles to hold her bile in.
Bad smells/wrong places.
Her girls! Did you hear About Miley Cyrus? Yes
Way! Let’s have a bath.
The smiles will soon
Fade away to psychosis
When bath salts kick in.
Jan ponders fearful
Mishap with the enema
Gangrenous toes soon.
It puts the water
In the bathtub. Put water
In the fucking tub!
Homoslavian
Synchronized Swim Team tries new
Moves before London.
Human Fozzy Bear
Transformed Miss Piggy and Kerm’
Into his sex slaves
After borscht and beer
Bender. Khasakstan Trios
Prepares for liftoff.
Throw a hot toaster
Into this cauldron of poo
And make us happy
Nothin’ says lovin’
Like a tub full of hot brown
Olestra discharge.
I said twenty this
Week but I fucked one up. Here
Comes twenty-one. Son.
In a few minutes
The kids will have a viral
To rival TubGirl.
Pensive expression
“Who’s leg is that on the wall?”
It’s yours, you dumb whore
Mitch Cumsteen smiles
In his mikvah bath of poo
On Shabbos? Shonda!
Drunk again. Rev
Chad tries to get it on with
Wife and Lenny’s chick.
Time to call plumber
Sewage pipes backed up again
Draino can’t fix this
With any luck the
Hot water boiled his nuts
and killed all his sperm.
Bleeth tries to figure,
“Is it a queef or a fart?”
They both make bubbles
Stoopid fuccen job
Made me miss stellar Haikus
Nice work sick bastids
WTF? Why won’t this poetry post?? 6th time>
.
.
The hair in the drain
Has mutated to life forms
Not sentient, though.
Three Rectal Polyps
And a bathtub full of poo,
Yabba Dabba doo.
Rub a dub dub, three turds in a tub. That sickening bathtub ring suggests that one or more of these wonderful fuckups doesn’t wipe their posterior after taking a runny dump and they are all enjoying a soak in what’s left over from 3 newly washed ‘n rinsed out backsides. Hell they all probably peed in there too and its gotta stink pretty bad.
Jethro and his sister wives
Enjoy a three ring ceremony
Sisters and cousins.
Sally in green sees
with horror a stray leg John
cut off last hooker
—-
Rub a dub dubstep,
Three assholes in nasty tub
whose is dirtiest?
Brown tepid water
Cold scum ring around my legs
Fuck it it’s Friday