Tuesday, July 31, 2012

    Kisseus Vomitorious and Margaret Make Their Bid for the Yearly

    And by bid, I mean credit card living, frequent name changes, and a bottle of Jager.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, July 31, 2012

    HCwDB: White Party Frank Gehry Love Boat Edition

    Why do I feel like the backstory of this pic involves a drunken Saudi Prince hoping to invest in the movie industry?

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, July 31, 2012

    This Picture of Vegas Douchenut No Longer Shocks You

    And the fact it no longer shocks you is, if you think about, what is truly shocking.

    We live in a post-douchebag world. Through the looking glass, people. Black is white. Up is down. Joe Pesci is wearing a wig.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, July 31, 2012

    The Bearded Jackalope Creeps on Vasser Girls

    That’s what happens when you go to college upstate, Kathy and Jeni-Lynn. When the trout pond is stalked with second tier trout, then those trout will be hairy unshaven patchouli phish.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 30, 2012

    Cartoon America

    To paraphrase the old guy talking to Jimmy Stewart in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, when the douchebags become cartoons, print the cartoons.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 30, 2012

    Reader Mail: URC is the Town Mascot of Marshalltown, Iowa

    —————
    DB1,

    This is from Marshalltown Iowa – no poo here – at least not much. This town is hard, like Fort Worth, or Detroit minus the rappers and pawn bling. Yet the summer festival mascot is the Ubiquitous Red Cup. Is there a deeper, darker meaning to this – I see Tom Hanks, weird rituals, Dan Brown novels…? By the way, This is a tshirt hanging in the grocery store – so you know it’s real. Grocers don’t mess around.

    - Edwin


    —————

    “Is this a douchey frat party?” “It’s Iowa.” — Field of Poo

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 30, 2012

    Axl Oldey Approves of the HCwDB of the Month

    Rockstar Leniency Rule never dies.

    It just starts to shout at kids to get off its lawn.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 30, 2012

    HCwDB of the Month: Kisseus Vomitorious and Margaret

    K.V. had a long and inglorious run of ‘hawked makeouts with a variety of quality hotts over the past month. From drunken makeouts with Naughty Nape Nanine to fauxhawk spittle, is there a more egregious example of seal nads punch?

    But of this run of club party poo, no pic is more infuriating, or more deserving to be in the Yearly, than this atrocity.

    There will be no vote.

    So let it be written. So let it be done.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Sunday, July 29, 2012

    Michele Jenneke: The Hottest Hurdler in Creation

    There is hope and light and lutes playing in the darkest crevices of the universe as I slather her pooch thigh suckle taut with massage oils from Tripoli and a dash of whipped cream, and then gnaw like a hungry Peruvian aardvark outside of Winterfell.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Saturday, July 28, 2012

    Comment of the Week: ehcuodouche

    Longtime reader, occasional poster, ehcuodouche, comes through with this important factoid and wins the coveted Comment of the Week:

    ———–
    Incidentally, the Chinese character is the radical for woman underneath the radical for house. The implication being that having a woman in your house leads to peace. The further implication being that she has the most ironic tattoo ever, because if she was ever under my roof for any other reason than breaking and entering I’d throw her headfirst out the back door.
    —————–

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
Older Posts