Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

9:46 am July, 5 Wheezer said...

They’re breeding…..

9:52 am July, 5 Wheezer said...

After wrapping up shooting for The Amazing Spider-Man, Andrew Barfield had a few appletinis and decided to answer his pro-Tobey Baguire critics.

9:57 am July, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m assuming the yellow paint says UP?

10:03 am July, 5 Melvil_Duchi said...

and fading sharpie

10:06 am July, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Looks like Carl spent the night getting eye-raped by the Hamburglar and then choking up some of Ronald’s special Big Mac sauce the rest of the night. I can just hear him trying to explaining it in the emergency room: “Well after closing we usually start smoking some weed when all of the sudden Ronald jumped over the counter from the lobby and pinned me to the cash register while the Hamburglar started giving me a rusty trombone but changed his mind and just started eye raping me. While trying to get the pickles and onions out of my eyes, Ronald shoved his McRib down my throat and started smacking me with his McNuggets in the face until special sauce just came pouring out and I felt just like Elton John in a Turkish prison. I’m gonna work the night shift again tomorrow. Wish me luck!”

10:08 am July, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

As a bonus this year all gold medalists from the special olympics were flown to Hedonism II for a 6 day 7 night all inclusive vacation. Looks like we caught Skippy here right after finger painting during afternoon arts and crafts.

10:14 am July, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Eli?
.
The Truth.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lELQA8BDoR0
.
Son

10:25 am July, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

All hell broke loose on the family cruise this year when the ectasy tablets Keri brought accidently got mixed in with her autistic brother Jeffrey’s Flintstone vitamins.

10:46 am July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Test??

10:49 am July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Going crazy from the heat I’m transported back about a year ago. At and around that time we were very spoiled and didn’t know it. I’m talking about the genius that is Hermit (Respect). I miss his prose and decided to dig into my Hermit scrapbook. So with out further ado I give you a 4th day of July reminiscence as told by Hermit.
.
See his post @10:55 am
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/07/04/ullar-jorbergs-mustache-says-happy-july-4th/

10:49 am July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

WordPress blows!!!

10:50 am July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

I give you a 4th day of July reminiscence as told by Hermit.
.
See his post @10:55 am
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/07/04/ullar-jorbergs-mustache-says-happy-july-4th/

11:03 am July, 5 FredN. said...

Slow me?
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That chick’s overbite is quietly calling me. She’s a regular joe for us regular schmoes.

11:26 am July, 5 Wheezer said...

Charlie Sheen’s bastard child…..well, this is no fuccen surprise.

11:30 am July, 5 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

I was on the decks of a cruise ship nary 3 months ago, but never did I come across such an inglorious site. Had I, a haymaker to the left jaw he would have endured…and possible a long swim in the ocean.

11:31 am July, 5 Sir Vance of Douchemock said...

**** you, no edit button.

12:28 pm July, 5 This site is so slow it lost the Paralympics triathon said...

She’s about 5’1″ and will be 300 pounds by 30, but would make for a nice peen cozy on this lazy day after the big blow.

12:40 pm July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Let’s reminisce with some classic Hermit from a year ago.
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“I watched with disdain this morning, from deep within my hidden position, as they gathered in Small Town America, congregating on the sides of the parade route with their plastic lawn chairs. Dragging patriotic symbols through the mud and hog urine. Family patriarchs carrying coolers full of intestines, Vietnamese yak bladders and fermented vegetation, chilled, to numb the senses.
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Strike up the band! Seventy-six trombones lead the way blowing taps from behind hidden synthesisers. The standard garbage soon followed and marched with surgically implanted smiles in the somber procession; local County Fair Queens, dressed in drag, leaving discernible trails of artificial estrogen, Motorcycle drill teams with hidden agendas, wearing American Legion hats and bulging pantie-liners, scraping the curbs and glancing off the sides of meat wagons.
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Vladimir Putin rode shotgun on a deflated Zodiac with a spear gun pointed into the heart of Middle Ämerikä.
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I ejaculated softly into a hot dog wrapper.”

12:41 pm July, 5 Nancy Dreuche said...

Do you think the loyal readers of The Chive have to deal with this bullshit?

12:42 pm July, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin
Regarding Mill Hill back in the day, I couldn’t of said it better.!!!

12:52 pm July, 5 Reverend Chad said...

^Hermit.

2:38 pm July, 5 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Unfinished Tat Guy’s Jealous Cousin says ” low me”.

3:30 pm July, 5 hermit said...

Damn, Et tu, good to know someone appreciates warped gibberish.
.
Warped Gibberish: good band name?

6:57 pm July, 5 Stephanie said...

Well,if you have to write it down, I can guaranty no one will offer.

11:46 pm July, 6 Little Willie said...

Little Sally from middle school thought a nice college boy like Kevin would be a cool boyfriend to take home to the folks after the party. Unfortunately Kevin, suspected in a series of perverted sexual attacks on underage young boys, was quickly hauled off to the local sanitarium after his body art gave him away. His degenerative mental health issues remain incurable.