Friday, August 24, 2012
Friday Haiku
Although Mortimer
Didn’t pee in Tammi’s pool,
He ruined her vodka…
Jesus died on cross
for sinners. Sees Mortimer
and reconsiders
– Charles Nelson Douchely
Two-tone bikini
is not impressed by bad tats.
Mort tries the peen grab.
– FoghornLeghorn
Rich guy hires Tina
To be his dork son’s first lay;
Tina wants more cash
– saulgoode42
The last time I saw
this much pork in hot water
was boiling hot dogs.
– Douche Wayne
This is the poster
For Fecal Incontinece
Don’t go in the tub
– DoucheyWallnuts
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mismatched bikini
paunchy Pancho grabs his junk
tattooed Jesus wept
Mayan coital eye
could never coax me into
that crab boil hot tub
Jesus died on cross
for sinners. Sees Mortimer
and reconsiders
A tat of Jebus?
Or is it thezig zag guy ?
Both are unholy.
Two-tone bikini
is not impressed by bad tats.
Mort tries the peen grab.
That is no baby
Ruth that Mortimer let fly
Corn backed rattlers float
His pink wristband’s NOT
for Breast Cancer Awareness.
Its for Left Tit Scrote.
Peachy orbs beckon.
But tatted junk grab repels.
Natural physics laws.
We found his missing
Chromosome trapped in the pool
Filter, Hasselhoffs
Rich guy hires Tina
To be his dork son’s first lay
Tina wants more cash
Kelly ponders the
Question, can she get preggo
From Morts pool semen
The fresco artist
Gives Mort deal on Jebus tat.
Hey Man! She’s famous!
We’ve found the missing
Belushi brother he bites
Fart bubbles in pool
Tammi’s white bottom
Hides a monsterous axe wound
Please don’t get it wet
Just checking to make
Sure the piranhas he let
Loose didnt bite peen
Nothing turns a girl
On like a beater tan and
A soggy man gunt
No one will join Mort
in his playground in the shade
Tammi likes the sun
Shouldn’t have sunbathed
while wearing mommy’s brazier
stretched beyond use too.
Mortimer Has Moobs
Frightening Reality
Not Dr Seuss Book
MC Serch Junior
Brooklyn Queen finds in cess-pool
Gives him the gas face
Mort has been holding
His junk since Tammi showed him
Her thin Mons Penis
Mortimer holds cock
Since the gyroscope was put
In his Monkey Hole.
Mortimer holds pee
But his Snuggies are holding
In a giant poo.
Tammi’s dad only
Let Mort swim on days when blue
Depends were on sale.
Mort didn’t have a
Friend besides Jesus till Dad
Put pool hotub in.
Mort rode the short bus
Tina got preggo dropped out
of school. Cute couple.
Fat is the new thin
Disgusting is the new hot
This pair has it all
Mort jumped into gang
Fat Latin Shortbus Riders
Packs gun next to junk
Mort readjusts tuck
Our Lord and Savior Weeps
White Bottom Cuts cheese
The lifesaver ring
Is too small for Mortimer
Tammi doesn’t mind
Mort grabs testicles
As he hears Lance Armstrong is
Guilty of doping.
I admit it. I’d
Fucle Tammi cause she’s short
And a spinner chick.
Tammi is cranky
Cause Mort’s peen can’t penetrate
Her pear for anal.
The deck chairs were full
Until Tammi let loose the queef
From her Monkey Hole.
Tatt sportin’ cherub
Going for K.D. Lang look
Adjusts the blue balls
It puts the lotion
On it’s shorts. Put lotion on
Or get Tammi’s hose.
Dark Sock has a sweet
House and pool but his kids are
Fucking retarded.
Yeah yeah yeah, we know
In ‘Bama can bang cousin
This dude is result
Mortimer’s best friend
Held firmly in his left fist
Man bra leaves tan lines
Ernest Borgnine died
And came back as this fat bleeth
Karma is a bitch
Special Warren asks
you, “Have you seen my baseball?”
Do not touch his ears.
Why on earth would you
need a life preserver for
a shallow hot tub?
Mort would rather goose
himself and self medicate
Than touch that skank, Jane
Tries to impress girl
does his best rendition of
The Truffle Shuffle
The last time I saw
this much pork in hot water
was boiling hot dogs.
This is the poster
For Fecal Incontinece
Don’t go in the tub
Jee-zus tat’s really
Hay-Zeus, a Mex’can who shoved
lightning up Mort’s ass
—
Jesus returns! God bless!
Sees Mort, says, “I died for THIS!?”
Turns, weeps, walks away
—
Tammi has standards.
No matter how good the pot,
she ain’t doing this
Mort wins the top prize
on “To Catch a Predator”
meets girl, then arrest
Peen grabbing side tilt,
Bottle of absolute will,
Not get you the hott.
Tammi’s definitely fuckable after a couple long pulls from a bottle of Night Train. Then she can start using that tight lipped mouth giving Mr. Johnson some long tight pulls. Morty has the look and mannerisms of the currently institutionalized off his medication again.
Vodka on jock itch
does not work, but worth a try:
Drunk crabs can be fun.