Friday, September 28, 2012
Friday Haiku
After seeing Jill
Todd was unable to get
Her ass off his mind.
Wearing an Ass Hat
Is better than being one
This douche managed both
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jills prolapsed colon
looks eerily similar
to my mechanic.
— Not Safe For Rest (NSFR)
Jill’s pear needs a rest
Todd is mistaken for stool
happens all the time
— Douche Springsteen
The Porn Convention
Was going well until Sue
Pooped a Latino
— saulgoode42
Wearing an Ass Hat
Is better than being one
This douche managed both
This is World Record
For the largest crap ever;
Stop eating Hipsters
Better than Rogaine
Heat from bleeth’s snatch regrows hair
Head smells like tuna
The latest craze in
sports wear: A hat that five guys
came in yesterday.
While at ComicCom
Her hemmerhoid came to life
Prep H not working
Jills prolapsed colon
looks eerily similar
to my mechanic.
Want to frost your tips?
Stick your head under Jill’s ass,
it shoots anal bleach!
a mean trick to play
impersonating a chair
at school for blind hotts
Jill’s pear needs a rest
Todd is mistaken for stool
happens all the time
Embarrassingly,
Jill pinched out the biggest turd
Right on the show floor
Todd was a nerd, who
did not understand her. “Slide
My head in Your ass”??
If enough people
call you a dickhead you should
just accept your role.
DB1 absent?
Jesus H Christ! Yom Kippur
Was just here Tuesday.
The Hispanic food
Did not sit so well with Jill
Until it schatt out.
The Porn Convention
Was going well until Sue
Pooped a Latino
A classical example
of pent up gas
resulting in a brain fart
Todd’s playing Carnac.
Tries to divine the future.
Won’t work, Shit-For-Brains!
Hott green pear could mean,
He is not Beavis,
So they’ll call him Butthead
Folks were astonished
when Jill birthed a full grown man.
Wrong a$$ was slapped, though.
Sitting on men’s heads
for cash has its perks, now ass
smells like LA Looks.
DB1 has not
done haiku since his head went
up his monkey hole.
Just another day
On the job at the porno
Convention, classy!
From the looks of it
Todd’s elbow was the first thing
he put in Jill’s butt.
Juan is about to
Get a surprise, her lunch was
Packed full of olean.
Someone please save this
poor hot from making so much
money banging dudes.
Bleeth wants a rim job
Douche gets dingleberry hair
Too dumb to notice
A greasy Latin
Melon is not the strangest
Thing thats been in there.
Of all the things that
Have come out of her pussy
This douche is the worst
“Can you please sign this
pic of your prolapsed rectum?”
Guy asks blonde in back.
Juan gets to live his
Fantasy of smelling like
Sea scallops and shrimp.
The Home and Garden
Show took a turn for the worst,
When a repairman
.
Was needed to fix
The broken Gyroscope in
Carol’s monkey hole.
Later that day his
Friends all asked if he had shrimp
Fajitas for lunch
That is one way to
Get across the border to
The U.S.of “A”
Gyroscope went in
A Herpster Douchebag came out
Monkey hole effed up
Todd says, “What am I?”
Instant pictionary win.
Yes, you’re an asshat.
This is a promo
Still from TLCs latest
About conjoined twins.
Having a conjoined
Twin made Jills porno career
Most interesting.
He cannot get up
His head is cemented in
Place by dried nut glue.
“I’m Todd Crockett. King
of the Wild Porntier. That
hats real poonskin too.”
This will be the first
Case of pubic lice on top
Of a persons head.
Platinum blond’s confused.
Can’t believe white dude’s I.D.
“YOU’RE Long Dong Silver??!”
When Todd comes home to
his wife she should shit on his
head to win him back.
What’s worse than a Shart?
A queef that results in this;
The birth of a douche
Tap that ass or make
a cap outta that ass? Todd
wins Project Doucheway.
Boobies sagging low
in background make me morose
only a half chub
I know mustache rides
are free but fauxhawk rides should
cost twice that same price.
If it was Plinky’s
Mom in place of Jill, poor Todd
would be RIP.
lonely horny dork
leaves safety of mom’s basement
gets V.D. on head
Jill gives Todd samples
of new hair gel, “Dippity
Other Men’s Goo Do”
“And if I can find
His car keys, we can drive out.”
Bumm-barr-rum-bumm tish.
Hey, remember that
scene from “There’s Something About
Mary”? Todd doesn’t.
“Meh. It’s a living.
Gotta pay the bills, y’know?”
– JellyDongHead Jones.
“The Bleeth that Laid The
Golden Douche is best told with
Nature’s meat puppets.
Todd so far up Jill’s
ass he musta lost his Man
Card at blonde’s table.
Not the first time Jills
had people wait in line to
put things in her butt.
“Sorry for being
a buzzkill on the best day
of your life, Todd.” -Me
I’d like to bone her
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Jimmy Hoffa III
Looks for grandfather in poon.
Only finds wristwatch.
Many good poop jokes
With ass pear la plante to boot
Vintage haiku week
Creep likes it when people pump wet farts on his head. Then he turns around and licks their pucker hole. He prefers male ass so he can give a rusty trombone but an occasional obliging female suffices in a pinch.