Saturday, November 10, 2012

Comment of the Week: The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Drunken Canadian layabout and verbal thespian, The Reverend Chad Kroeger, muses on the voting proccess in the Boaty Bobby Voted… thread and wins the coveted HCwDB of the Week:

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DB1 has done his civic duty. And by civic duty I mean 10 beautious gluteus maximii. Fuck I wish I could get drunk and go pull one of them fancy handles youse got in your voting booths. All we got is a post-it note paper check box system, but it works. Almost.

Democrats

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# posted by douchebag1
1:37 pm November, 10 FoghornLeghorn said...

I see Wal-Mart™ had a sale on men’s swim wear, again.

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Ironic that the Rev has checked out of here just before winning this award. I hope it’s not permanent, but if so, enjoy your free time.

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Me, I’m going to Jack-in-the-Box.

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3:58 pm November, 10 Vin J Douchal said...

This freak looks like Fabio fucked the Sunday comics. At some point a huge dose of regret turns these kinda turds into self loathing recluses. Right? Am I right Rev?

4:20 pm November, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

He almost, and I mean almost looks like Tim Cappello, one thee bad ass sax players ever!!!. check him out at the 1.10 minute mark. I believe this was Rev Chad in his previous life.

5:18 pm November, 10 creature said...

when Rev Chad gives blood, they bottle it & age it before selling to billionaire vampires in search of a very cosmic cocktail

7:16 pm November, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

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Fucking DB1 brings me back. Jew liberals don’t even remember the beautiful halcion days of the 1950’s. Neither do I but Ike was the King. Not Ike Turner. Entitled Millenial thinks Obama is the real deal. Well I’m gonna only talk about this this one last time. The madness of King George I suffered yesterday was an encephelatic condition which occurs every few years after a bout of sinusutis. The antibiotics worked and I went huntin today and fucking gut shot a nice buck. Fuck it’s embarrassing and I just got back from 4 hours of searching for the fucking thing and now I’m my fathers albatross. Fuck! So now instead of the old man directing Remberance Day events he’s gonna drag me back out until we find the poor ungulate bleeding in shallow water or dead after needless suffering at my Benelli’s hands.

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The Great Escape was a sham. Not one American participated in the event and Steve McQueen never rode a fucking motorbike over a fucking fence.

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So it occurs to me while I’m driving home stoned with a suspended license in my old Escalade which should be full of blood and deer that I’m getting old.I wasn’t stoned hunting. And perhaps there is a place for a new generation of politicians. Disregarding DB1’s millenial east coast elitist worldview I take solace in the fact that my cold country full of drunken indians is on a Conservative groove.

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So my fat daughter is finally losing weight on the world’s most fucking expensive diet and the Mrs. has proven to be a dutiful mother bringing her to the gym and shit and eating the same shiity food for breakfast and lunch. Then striploins and shitloads of fucking organic vegetables ebery night so i have to go out and freeze my cock off searing the meat for them.

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That fucking cheating whore Tami sent me a friend request on Facebook. I ignored it cause the Mrs, hates her due to my conflicted state last time I saw the slut. She wanted a fuck and I left with the Mrs. while my cock said yes to the whores leg rubbing. I made the right call in my drunken state that night.

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I’d really like to hate fuck Malia and Sasha. But in a gentle way cause they are some fine looking Mulatresses. Their mother? Barf. I’d rather fuck Rush Limbaugh’s 4th chin of Glenn Becks bad ear. Fuck I hate those scammers as much as I hate Rove and Carville.

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In a perfect world the Baron would run the CIA. Et Tu would assassinate Joe Biden and take his place.

Vin would pardon Et Tu as he became POTUS and electrify the nation on that fucking stooge Jimmy Fallons show with an epic guitar solo. Creature would become Secretary of State and strangle that cow-face Clinton pig before sending Seal Team v5 vto kill Nancy Dreuche.And DB1 would be the Press Secretary. I would be named General of everthing while I ass rammed the lovely Dana Perino in a F-22.

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So I’m going to get drunk and forget about all this election shit while dreaming of a young Demi Moore spread eagle before me to be shaved by my teeth and a speculum whilen Cameron Diaz rims me from behind don I don’t see her fucking monkey face. I’d like to have Lady Gaga piss on Demi while she is shorn.

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The Challenger explosion was an inside job and Joel Osteens time travelling wife likes to eat my turds like a rabid black woman. Sons.

7:37 pm November, 10 Wheezer said...

Hey Rev, you’d also nominate hermit and D. Wallnuts as national Poet Laureates, wouldn’t ya?

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And don’t get too rough with Dana Perino, OK?

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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/3797092/White-House-Press-Secretary-Dana-Perino-gets-black-eye-as-shoe-venir-in-Baghdad.html

7:46 pm November, 10 Wheezer said...

Dateline, 2020…..After the latest election, all 50 or so states and commonwealths have now legalized “Mary Jane,” and Tony Romo spends his retirement years on a Florida beach, “just lettin’ it all hang out, you dig?”

7:52 pm November, 10 Wheezer said...

Yep, “Tony Romullet” is this asshat’s name, just in case he returns.

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Panel?

8:13 pm November, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I don’t think it’s the booze talkin, but I’d bang Rev Chad with Nancy Pelosi’s dick. He uses his mouth pertier than a $5000 whore.

8:25 pm November, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

In honor of Rev Chad’s resurrection I have this little story about Liza and me.

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http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/13852912/dwallnuts-talks-about-bangin-liza-minelli

10:07 pm November, 10 Bag Margera said...

When you have a system of parliament modelled after the Brits, there is just no way to compete with how exciting American politics is. So whenever I try to explain Canadian politics to Americans, I pretty much have to not mention anything Canadian at all, just to keep their attention.

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I tell them think of America, only instead of Righty and Lefty parties, you have Righties, Liberal lefties, Socialist lefties, Environmental lefties, And the entire state of Florida got sick of being picked on, so they decided to tell the rest of you to go fuck yourselves, and made a Florida Party.

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So that’s 1 right wing party Vs. 3 left wing parties, plus a bitter swing state with it’s own agenda. That’s Canada for you, and why we got a guy that looks and acts like Romney for 6 years. Obama would not have won in Canada.

10:25 pm November, 10 The Dude (remote loc) said...

Sloppy snapper for the book deal *FTBD*

12:06 am November, 11 Rev Chad Watching War Movies Recounting Canada's Comtribution to World Wars said...

@Wheezer

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Yes. You would also be named poet laureate in the history of Mya Angelou. Fuck I hate that bitch and Oprah as much as I hate Rexella Van Impe who I willl be watching this morning when Jack preaches doom and end times the fucker.

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Sloppy Snapper. Fuck I saw a few of those. You never lick a loose sloppy puss but I do like a Ham Dangling labia minora unless it’s on a hooker over 16.

12:28 am November, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucking insomnia. Anyhows here’s my recently deceased best friend and Grandma’s brother who survives D-Day only to meet me 20 years later. He appears at 5:54. They threw away the fucking bicycles. Kiss a vet today. Sometimes I give them a reacharound.

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2:39 am November, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Jesus, how could that “Take the airport with bicyclists” plan not work?

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Welcome back, Rev! We hardly knew ye!

6:25 am November, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

The Right Honorable Reverend (Hanging) Chad Kroeger is back and this is a good thing. Why is it a good thing? I don’t know, I don’t care I can’t even comprehend it but it just feels good. In honor of the Rev & Rick James I’m gonna enjoy some “Mary Jane” prior to firing up the grill for my weekly Sunday grill fest.

@Rev

Are we betting or what?

6:42 am November, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Are you fucking kidding me??? Watching the CBS Sunday Morning show and during the story on Petraeus the broad he was cheating with is shown being interviewed by thatLego Wig wearing Arty Kade? Motherfucker won’t go away.

8:05 am November, 11 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Sleeved out Ross there looks like a skinny version of Weismueller’s Tarzan. With too many tatts and the brain of an ape.

12:27 pm November, 11 Rev Chad Watching War Movies Recounting Canada's Comtribution to World Wars said...

we’re on @EtTu I had to go find a deer this morning. Fucking coyotes.

12:38 pm November, 11 The Dude said...

Talk about ~embedded~ but I can’t blame him for tapping Broadwell ass. I’d make an IED for Paula Broadwell in about three push-ups.

5:35 pm November, 11 Mr. Biggs said...

I’m just gonna go ahead and say that pics like this are visual evidence that women are second class citizens.

7:06 am November, 12 DarkSock said...

Sweet ass mullet…they’re coming back, you know.

4:06 pm November, 12 Stephanie said...

That mullet sure has some girly arms on him.

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