Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Ask DB1: NBAbags?

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Hey,

Just wanted to start off by letting you know what a fantastic job I think you’re doing and I check your website several times a day, so thanks a lot!

With that being said, I think there is an entire demographic here being overlooked. As an avid basketball player and fan, I have watched the NBA nearly all my life, so I have had the misfortune of watching the players, on and off the court, degenerate into uber-soft, uber-whiney, dare I say, douchebags.

I watch an NBA game nearly every day and shake my head and curl my lip in disgust when presented with a postgame interview of yet another self absorbed, overpaid player! I generally hate the overuse of exclamation punctuation, but I feel it is necessary here as it befits my overall rage and disgust as our culture becomes more flashy and fake with each passing moment.

Would there were more people like you in the world with sophisticated edge and a quality outlook on people in general, that I have come to appreciate. I will continue to follow your site and recommend it to others and for it, I salute you.

Thanks,

Michael

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It all began in the 1990s with these two, and it got far worse in the 00s, but it’s recently gotten a lot better. The NBA is still filled with sportsdouchery, but humility and passion seems to be replacing preening and spectacle, so I’d argue that there is hope.

# posted by douchebag1
12:32 pm January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Carmen Electra made my turtle go back into it’s shell. The two blondies above have made it stick it’s neck out. I hate basketball, too Canadian.

12:38 pm January, 15 Vin Douchal said...

The NBA has been for shit since the early 90’s. Unwatchable. The Detroit Pistons “Bad Boys” combined with the new popularity of the slam dunk ( the most trite, worthless scoring play in all of professional sports) ruined the game.

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Professional basketball was a can’t miss spectacle of graceful athletes like Wilt, Bill Russell, Oscar Robertson on to the great Lakers-Celtics battles of the 80’s. When Rodman and his ilk changed the game to a droll contest of hard fouls and flatout cheap shots with game stilting whistle after whistle, it was ruined forever.

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Add to that the size and speed of today’s players , the referees can’t keep up. As a result the refs are watching a different game than the viewing public blowing call after call..

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This has essentially turning the NBA executives into apologists with statements like “It all evens out”. No, it shouldn’t have to. It should be done right the first time. Baseball has been saying this lately , too, but they are starting to use instant replays to correct inefficiencies

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A modern day NBA telecast is fraught with frustration followed by mealy mouth analysts like the incoherent Charles Barkley. Unwatchable

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To an educated sports fan, the NBA should be seen as an inferior contest of dupes and dupees. The games and matchups are secondary to the noise pounding through arenas with the precision ballet-like athleticsm stripped away, replaced with nonsensical specialists of little skill

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That said I would still place Michael Jordan as one of the greatest athletes that have ever walked the earth

12:40 pm January, 15 Wheezer said...

Fuccen Rodman…..helped “my” Bulls get three more rings, and then they dumped him before he could screw ’em up.

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I can’t blame him for wanting to tag Carmen, however. I’ve always found her worth a good fap.

1:13 pm January, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is the NBA the one with all the preening rapists or is it the one with all the weed smokers (leave Rev Chad outta this one)? I can’t tell anymore nor do I give a shit.

1:24 pm January, 15 DoucheyWallnuts said...

All of sports is spinning into douchebaggery….The NBA just has the least dressed players so you see it more clearly.

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Which reminds me of a broad I met in Bampf years ago who smelled faintly of dog-doo and who tried to fist me, which was odd since I never took my pants off. She drank Yukon Jack neat and ate chunks of cheddar cheese she cut off a huge wedge with a Bowie knife that had a handle made of the bones of a baby seal. Funny girl…

1:45 pm January, 15 Douchble Helix said...

I gave up caring about sports and millionaires and billionaires for Lent last year, and never picked it up again.

2:06 pm January, 15 Tits McGee said...

@Dr. Bunsen – swimming is the one with the weed smokers and the one with the rapists is the church.

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i know both are shadowy organizations with an overinflated sense of worth so its easy to get them confused…

2:22 pm January, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If Humility and Passion are the names of the two strippers in this pic, I’ve got to start watching more basketball.

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Nice scarlet letter Passion. I appreciate your honesty. And your boobs.

2:24 pm January, 15 hermit said...

I agree completely. Particularly what Vin said about the obnoxious noise in modern arenas obviously geared for sixth graders. If you have to play a bunch of loud music and sound effects to get fans excited, your product sucks. Don’t even get me started about the lavish player introductions and lame mascots.

I dig the college game. Go Butler Bulldogs.

2:32 pm January, 15 The Dude said...

I’m volleyball. They can’t afford to be douchey. And those Brazilian chicks are mui caliente!

2:46 pm January, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

Nothing make me cringe more is watching faux super fans sitting courtside in L.A. & NYC. I like how Jack walked out on the Lakers the other night though.

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I remember the old Boston Garden back in the early to late 80’s. Bruins games were the shit!!!, Saturday afternoon 1PM matinees against the like of the Nords, Blackhawks, and Flyers was always a powder keg ready to erupt. The cool thing was it was AFFORDABLE. This was the CELTICS era and the B’s were second fiddle in the Garden then. Athletes like Cam Neely, Raymond Bourque, Old Guards like Nifty Middleton and Terry O’Reilly heading off into the sunset of their long careers however Taz did rise from the ashes several years later as coach.You had pugilists like Jay Miller, who used to routinely kick the shit of Kevin McGuire of the Sabres, Lyndon Byers and one of the scrappiest little MoFo’s of all time Nevin Markwart, respect to PJ Stock.

The economics of the game got bigger and the Old Garden became a hindrance to making money. Taking us into the era of plusher corporate boxes, bar & club service in the lower levels and bigger, brighter, lifeless arenas. Over priced restaurant development crowding out the classics like “The Penalty Box” (I used to meet my bookie there every Tuesday night), or “The Fours” for a couple of beers & the Steak tip and fries lunch special. Respect to the old barns in Chicago, Montreal, Toronto.

3:24 pm January, 15 DarkSock said...

What is this “basketball” of which you speak?

3:29 pm January, 15 DarkSock said...

The only competition sport I care about ever since the Saints failed to make the playoffs is of course “Zombie Horde versus Giant Purple Jelly Dong.

4:17 pm January, 15 Vin Douchal said...

@ Et tu
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You forgot Stan Jonathon. Which is worth mention since he was in the news recently for a little hunting accident
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Any Nuck’ll tell ya, ya gotta wear your orange vest, eh?

4:22 pm January, 15 Bag Margera said...

They don’t call em’ “ballers” for nothin.

4:59 pm January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Firstly I’d like to say that’s all funny .Sons. Secondly, I’d like to mention that I had a pair of those ugly blue suede Adidas Kareem -Abdul Jabbar’s with the white stripes when my basketball carreer ended in 1979. Grade 8 ended that year too. I was wearing them when I lost my virginity with a girl named Kelly behind the church after my Confirmation dance. So since I had a black player’s shoes I am not racist or a virgin or a basketball player. Thus giving me non-racist exemption.

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Baskeball died the day the Celtics were not white.

5:00 pm January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

No racist.^

5:51 pm January, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Vin

Forgot about him ahh the #17, Stan Jonathan, then Nevin Markwart and now Milan Lucic.

8:14 pm January, 15 Douchble Helix said...

Shit, a US VP shot a guy in the face, and the guy with the shot face apologized to the US VP.

4:00 am January, 16 Stephanie said...

With somewhat recent devolopments in basketball like faking a fall,for the foul,I’ve decided not to bother anymore.

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