Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Shminky and the Boozer Chicks of Cell Block 9

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Now that’s a 1980s b-movie I’d watch on Cinemax at 2am.

Which brings up the whole question of at what point slutty bar ladies cross-over from sexy, trashy, carnal hott party girls who get overly excited when Guns n’ Roses plays on the jukebox into boozy, hoarse, chain-smoking, leathery skinned moms who juggle restraining orders like popcorn.

I’d say the dividing line occurs somewhere in their early 30s. And is best signified by the 2am switch from beer to Jack Daniels.

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7:51 am January, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

That Tatum O’Neill used to be hot then she went and became an addict. This is what addiction causes folks just look at her, a shell of her former self, clinging to relevance by of all things a sleeve tatt. I’d still bang her though.

7:54 am January, 15 Et Tu Douche? said...

Is it me or has her forehead has seen more then it’s fair share of man-spackle landings?

8:26 am January, 15 Douche Wayne said...

Shminky is the poster boy for homosexual denial.

8:26 am January, 15 Douche Wayne said...

I have a feeling you could open a beer bottle with their C-section scars.

8:48 am January, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Guess it’s bring your kid to work day, Schminkys mum is busy in the Champagne Room with a couple mid level execs from a laminate flooring company trying to keep Schminky in the lifestyle he’s accustomed to and by that I mean Lunchables, Capri suns and Pokemon cards.

9:02 am January, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Douche Wayne
.
They don’t have C-section scars. They have abdominal zippers.

9:13 am January, 15 brewmaster said...

They are card board cut outs. Its cheap and you don’t have to pay htem to pose. But u my good friend has to pay to pose with them!!!!

9:13 am January, 15 UFO Destroyers said...

I have a feeling their nips are tougher than the callus on my left heel.

9:20 am January, 15 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I have a feeling their genitalia look like old worn out catcher’s mitts.

10:00 am January, 15 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I have a feeling their genitalia looks like pho meat.

10:15 am January, 15 Vin J Douchal said...

For these two chicks, 30 is the new 45

10:32 am January, 15 Douche Wayne said...

@ Mr. Scrotato Head
Yargh, that’s fantastically vile yet wildly appropriate.

10:32 am January, 15 Douche Wayne said...

I have a feeling Sminky’s mom is currently on Stage 2.

12:34 pm January, 15 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That is one shitty strip bar.

12:48 pm January, 15 Wheezer said...

Shminky the bar back is posing with two of his co-workers, thinking he’s all fly and shit with his silhouette boobie shirt, so he posted it to his Facebook page with the caption: “I wore this at the bar, bro!”
.
The real story is, after he took a swig of that old beer and gagged on the cigarette butt he hadn’t noticed before, Shminky’s subsequent hacking caught the attention of his assistant manager. Shminky was immediately canned for underage drinking on the job.
.
Shminky, the former bar back at Shooters & Hooters, has peaked at 19.

1:07 pm January, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wrongo Boss. The dividing line occurs between fetal alcohol syndrome baby #1 and crack addicted baby #2. Age has nuthin’ to do with it.

4:16 pm January, 15 Macsorley McScrote said...

Shminky is about to get his first case of VD. Don’t pay more than $50 a piece there Shminkster! Pass the penicillin…

4:05 am January, 16 Stephanie said...

Here’s a fun threesome,two angry women,and one guy who’s going to be their bitch.

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