Tuesday, July 2, 2013

When Boat HCwDB Turns into a Road Runner Cartoon…

…then the Fratbag will be roadkill.

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# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
7:22 am July, 2 Fish Slap said...

This behavior is common among mammals: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EluF_WDfitM

7:24 am July, 2 Charles Douchewin said...

^ That was me. Weeks ago I posted as “Fish Slap” to say Fuck the Donk, and apparently the name is stuck in the not-logged-in cache.

7:36 am July, 2 Et Tu Douche? said...

Moments after this very fortunate incident, where douche face plants, after being rammed by another boat. That boat was seen speeding away piloted by a man wearing gothic Mickey Mouse ears with a bottle of Makers Mark in his hand and and a collective roar of “Damn you Dark Sock!!!” was heard echoing all across the lake.

7:44 am July, 2 DarkSock said...

These sorts of marine activities are in my wheelhouse. However I’m seldom in my wheelhouse, hence resulting in said ramming as posited above by Et Tu.
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Posited, I says.

7:45 am July, 2 DarkSock said...

Those poor girls must be constipated something awful to be trying to ratchet those mud-slugs outta their mud horns.
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They need more bran.
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IT MUST EAT GRAIN.

7:48 am July, 2 FredN. said...

Hope they all fall in the water and get their legs cut off by propellers on boats driven by other drunk DBs, and then everyone sues everyone and they all end up on the poor[er] house.
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Except for tatt’ed up butt dancer — she I’ll keep in the basement. For shits. And giggles.

7:50 am July, 2 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

I had a boat like that once. Nothing even remotely like that ever occurred either on or near it.
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Boy, was I behind the curve(s).

7:53 am July, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m a bit worried about the Bleeth on the bottom of that sapphic train-wreck. It looks more like she’s trying to dislodge a chicken bone from her throat than dancing.

7:55 am July, 2 Choad the Douche Sprocket said...

This had to have occurred on Lake Mead, Nevada — the freshwater douchebag capitol of the universe.
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.BTW: did you know only 3% of the earth’s H2O is freshwater?
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.Thus is it somewhat wasteful to be peeing and ejaculating into it as I have done all these years.
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Homo sapiens

8:27 am July, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Agree with Choad, this is midwestern lakebaggery. Not that it matters much. I know one thing about lakebleeths: like Cicadas, they are briefly hott and bangable for a few months somewhere between their 13th and 17th year. Following this, they molt and enter the IHOP Waitress stage of their lifecycle, gaining 50kg and subsisting mainly on bacon grease and cigarettes.

8:33 am July, 2 creature said...

yup, boats ellicit moisture in the midsection sea slug of the bikini clad shore set…it’s not even fair, all boats come with a built in poon magnet….fact
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mariners

8:37 am July, 2 Douchble Helix said...

I need a new atlas if Nevada is midwestern.

8:41 am July, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

QED: everything between NCY and SF is the midwest, including Alaska. Midwest is a state of mind, not a state.

8:41 am July, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Make that NYC

8:50 am July, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Meep! Meep! vrrrrrrrroooooooooooom

8:56 am July, 2 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Boat + sluts + cheap beer = good time. Mock all you want, this is fact.

9:13 am July, 2 FredN. said...

Magnum Douche P.I., your equation works even better when it is reduced to:
Sluts + cheap beer = good time.
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Actually, it can be stated even more succinctly:
Sluts = good time.
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The boat just makes it douchey.

9:14 am July, 2 Vin Douchal said...

On a related note, noone in this video was eaten by sharks. Because there aren’t any in fresh water.
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C’mon evolution, step it up!

10:02 am July, 2 Charles Douchewin said...

@ Vin 9:14
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Disappointingly, there are no inland-only freshwater sharks.
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But the good news is several species normally swim far upstream in freshwater rivers.
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Although, clearly their sense of timing is off:
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jersey_Shore_shark_attacks_of_1916
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And evolution has given us some badass-big freshwater fish:
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http://largestfreshwaterfish.com/
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Evolution just hasn’t caught up yet to exploiting douchebags as a food resource. These things take time.

10:14 am July, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Maybe not lethal, but a few thousand excited Asian carp would liven up this party.

10:19 am July, 2 jonezy said...

^ Dude McCrude analogy FTW – funny shit. I always see these girls out and about, fresh to the city, usually from Michigan, and looking super fly and totally unapproachable in their egotism, clocking in at about 22-24, and I just know that they don’t know it yet- they are going to get fat and lay waste to their pristine figure. They will soon be 28 and lumpy, wondering why they can’t get guys to hit on them anymore. And yet they maintain these piss poor attitudes, thinking they are someone truly special. They are not. Its like they never heard the lines “And they stay the same age”- which is why I’m pro “give it up now while you’ve still got a chance at keeping a guy around once the seams come loose” – girls in NYC seem to understand this better.

11:07 am July, 2 DarkSock said...

Sure, boats are poon magnets…but you have ONE little boating accident and all of a sudden no one wants back on board. Of the new boat. To replace the olde one. That burned up after impact.

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