Wednesday, November 27, 2013
One Herpster To Rule Them All
Hear ye! Hear ye! All Movember wanabees with the tasty artisanal cheeses? Lay down your PBRs, your mustache grease, your scooters, and vinyl and gather round!! Attend the tale of McSweeney Todd!!
For thine efforts have been in vain. They are now moot. Irony has crawled into an alpaca sphincter and expired like parrot.
The game is over. The gig is rigged.
One Herpster To Rule Them All has arrived.
His name is Rob. But he goes by Alistair. And Carole titters whimsically before agreeing to tune his mandolin.
That’s Fremont Street in Vegas.
.
It’s like the Disney-ized area of old town where Margaritaville spits out shit tunes and warm beer, a rip off strip joint, shittier than shit Glitter Gulch and a place called “The Heart Attack Grill” with waitresses dressed as slutty nurses.
.
However it’s balanced by the ever alluring Four Queens with their Über- Awesome Chicago Brewing Co where they have de-fucking-licious micro brews, pizza and cigars. Also, I’ve hit four deuces at their video poker for a couple geezles as I sucked down a nice Monte Christo #2
.
Also the scene of a 6 hour craps game at the Plaza with yours truly and 3 of the biggest, loudest drunkest Texans I ever met after Super Bowl XLV. The sun came back up during the game and one of these fellers points at me and says, “I gotta piss, I gotta shit, I got a hankerin’ for a sirloin but if this cocksucker’s gonna keep hitting that nine, I’m gonna do it all right here”
Generation Why Captain Morgan sure can pull the Tawny Kitaen hotts.
.
Whitesnake Oil
1970’s Elton John called. He wants his glasses back.
Carole has quite the set of jugs on her.
Would it be considered ironic if one of those zero emission natural gas buses driven by a bleeding heart liberal vegan lesbian, recently married to another lesbian (in one of those states that allows that sort of shit), lost control and ran this hipster over ? Or would that just be something to give thanks for ?
Zonker Harris pulls some fluffy white bunny tail
Tawny Kitaen? Someone say Tawny Kitaen? She brings me back to my wild single years, Jaguars that were real Jaguars and still good looking pieces of crap symbolically rusting and breaking down to the decline of British Steel and the Empire. And one of the best Robert Plant impersonations of all time.
.
Fuck y’all. I loved the 80’s. For after the 80’s I was “attached”. The 80’s were awesome. Except for the abortion that wracks my Catholic soul with grief and guilt and has led to my many addictions. Are we still talking about hunting cause I got me my faux black powder rifle all shiny.. and shit.
.
Tawny Kitaen I would have eaten your 19 year old quim for thanksgiving and stuffed you with Irish(respect) Stuffing.
.
hey Rev, did we go to Irish Catholic boarding school
(Peter Pitchess Youth Camp) together in the mid ’70’s?
…your real Seamus Mc Fuckster perhaps?
name…oops
This guy could use a mandolin… across the face.
I really need to hit somebody hard, but I usually feel this way around Thanksgiving.
Snidely Herprash.
Na Creature! We have a publicly funded Catholic system in Ontario which I went to with no boarding. However there were some problems in those days of the 70’s which got a few people in trouble.
.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/cornwall-sex-abuse-scandal-spawns-hearings-healing-1.789067
.
But I know dem priests and they are all ayight.
.
I still see my older youth like this
.
http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/11/best-sketch-best-snl-season-tribute-classic-1980s-song/
Gimme a wounded lemur and I will beat this dope about his head and shoulders with it…sez me from gloomy Istanbul. After days of suffering the likes of CasablancaBags. You won’t find those guys on TripAdvsior.
Casablancabags? I have a whole new reason to scorn!
This reminds me of the time a weasel ate my LSD tab.
Outdoor playground at the mall brings us gifts of appreciation of a typical 75 degree SoCal November afternoon in the form of many Milfs. Tight jeans are in , brothers.
.
If you’ve got a “type” of hottie you prefer, there’s one here. Yoga pants got nothing on skin hugging denim. My cocck is singing showtunes
I gotta gaggle of milfs doing twice a week yoga at my studio. I have nothing against yoga pants, except my Big Fella. Actually the same goes with tight jeans.
Purple pants? Wtf
He’s gonna be a keeper when he’s older.
.
I could use a So Cal Milf here in 718…..nice visual Vin.