Friday, December 6, 2013

Friday Thoughts and Links

Chandlerbag2

HCwDB Party Boi (non)legend The Chandlerbag grows pasty, bloated, old, and water logged.

Like a three day old beached porpoise.

Remember way back in 2007?

When HCwDB was new? And shiney? And the Chandlerbag was just another happy-go-douchey scrote scoring quality bumper? Yeah, me neither.

We’ve watched the oily greasy ridiculousness of the Chandlerbag grow over the years. We’ve even seen him partying with the one and only Donkey Douche.

And here he is.

Like Bartleby’s Scrivener, able to function no more in a party world that passes him by.

Donkey Douche will meditate on this sad fact in deep repose. Like Rodan’s The Thinker. DD’s reflection tells the tale.

Here’s yer links:

Your HCwDB Amazon Buy Some Shit and Support the Site Link of the Week: “Put on your heartlighhhhhhtttttt….”

Chest hair. In the shape of a cat.

Actual comments left on Pornhub + stock photos = the point of the internet.

True love.

The origin of today’s Friday Haiku pic is a sordid story of a poker playing multi-millionaire ubersuckwad named Dan Bilzerian. What a steaming load of a waste of human life.

Being a douchebag can get you killed.

Some YouTube comedy channel made the mildly amusing Douche snaps. I really should be getting residuals on these things.

Meanwhile, in Brooklyn: Herpster v. Herpster

Meanwhile, in Wisconsin: Weird beach sex.

Australian douchebags in the news.

Things that happen in a world where things happen: Husband convicted of manslaughter after Dutch Oven goes wrong.

Okay. On that note. Here’s ya go:

Land-o-lakes pear.

Boston is cold and beautiful as your humb narrs brings the BC1 on her East Coast tour.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
Loading ... Loading ...
# posted by douchebag1
Links n' stuff:
12:42 pm December, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet fuck. I missed the haiku. Let me tell ya friends, when your pecker stops working at full speed stay with your loving wife. I just blew a load on 4 hookers and three of them couldn’t get me off.
.
The first was an anglophone duo of 19 year olds. The second was a black chick that ripped me off. The third session just ended with a quartasian and no finish.
.
Although the exams went well my manhood is an endangered species.
.
Fuck off Father Time and fuck you all.

12:50 pm December, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think I feel DB1′s raging hard-on all the way down here:
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUsB0Ix_GAA
.
.
.
.
.
.
LLama fuccker

1:13 pm December, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Crucial Head lives in Wisconsin?
.
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/09/wisconsin_man_arrested_for_humping_discarded_curbside_couch.php

1:33 pm December, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Rev, I think they have pills to cure your problem. And my email box is filled with spam for Canadian pharmacies, so I’m pretty sure you can get them up there.

Great links DB1. Unfortunately I noted that Donkey Douche has basically a Chicago skyline tramp stamp tattoo and I became violently ill and had to leave work early.

1:42 pm December, 6 Jurassic Douche said...

I definitely remember back in2007 when the Prompas were in their larval stage and Fish Slap was shaving his eyebrows. I am glad to see this site still mocking the douchescrotes that plague 21st century America.

I had never heard of this Dan Bilzerian choad before, and I wish it had staid that way. Looking at those photos he seems to be up there in asswankery with Donkey Douche, the Gator, Porsche, etc. I see an Irving Thralling Lifetime Achievement Award is future, if not already.

5:51 pm December, 6 The Dude said...

Dutch oven is s’posed to be funny, not a lethal weapon. Yikes, several dogs and cats have wandered into my ‘chamber of horrors’, but thankfully they have all escaped safely.

5:53 pm December, 6 eyedouche said...

Dutch Oven. Urban Myth. Too bad. I wanted to believe.. Phffffttt.

7:12 pm December, 6 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Wow Donkey Douche looks every inch the ex-con soon to be lifer that he is. Very nice…

6:10 am December, 7 Douchble Helix said...

The Chandler bag going downhill is life imitating “art”.

7:24 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Anyone that made it to T-Dub went too far.

7:45 am December, 7 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Douchble Helix
.
I was using those pills. Fucking Catholic guilt. Jonezy’s article is the tits.

9:15 am December, 7 Douchble Helix said...

Rev, that was MD, P.I. with the penis advise.
.
“Stress used to be the first time you couldn’t do it twice. It becomes the second time you can’t do it once.”
.
Especially when you’re paying for it. Four times.
.
“Catholic guilt”? Funniest thing I’ve ever read.

1:53 pm December, 8 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Hey, girl with the purple phone. Yeah, I see you there with that sports bra, exposing your soft, paddlesome abdomen. I haven’t done the deed with the misses in over three weeks due to getting poison oak on my junk. Just about healed up now, so I’ve got a cistern of cum under at least a three digit PSI, just ready to have the valve opened. That squishy tum-tum of yours looks like it’s in need of some spackling. Several layers thick.
.
AFYA

Leave a Reply