Monday, December 9, 2013

Donkey Douche: Still Tryin' to Scratch that itch

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DarkSock here, whilst The Boss is skeet-skeeting acrost us in the friendly skies above, noting that famed douche lightning rod Donkey D is trying to figure out how many fingers it will take to scratch this poison ivy rash he’s come across. Or hopes to, later.

Your comments, as always, are appreciated. Son.

# posted by Bagnonymous
5:41 am December, 9 The Dude said...

She’s too leafy.

6:16 am December, 9 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Me thinks the donk is no stranger to itching, burning, seeping rashes. If there is an award for douchiest jawline this orange lump of crap is a shoe-in.

7:24 am December, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Back at the university again today. Sweet fuck kids are fucking dirty hairy stinky greasewads with $1000 ugly goose parkas these days. And some seem to be walking around with expensive first date hotts. Thin rosey cheeked blondes with yoga pants that eat hearty breakfast poutine with damn dirty apemen. Kind of like bizarro-Donks.

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I got two hours till my exam and the bar opens in 40 minutes so I’m get drunk first. Son.

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Fuck Hipsters. Fuck you father time. Fuck you Fish Slap and fuck you all . Son.

8:23 am December, 9 Charles Douchewin said...

Moments earlier, the Donk was heard saying “So then, he looks up the definition in the dictionary, and it says: ‘eats shoots and leaves’, get it, get it?!”

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The Donk is a small time perp.

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I want some big game to mock. Like Berlusconi-class big game.

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Rage on, Rev.

8:53 am December, 9 DarkSock said...

I shall be taking leave of this site for a few days. Doc says he’s gotta open me back up and saw off a piece of spine bone he missed. So I’ll be getting more Percocet™. Son.

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Hope to be back in time for Friday Haiku.

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Spine Shanks

9:01 am December, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The thought of Rev at University conjures up images of Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School banging young ass and drinking and druging college kids under the table.

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I, too, hate Father Time with a passion. I remembers what Bobby Goulet used to say about getting older, but I’ll be damned if I can remember what exactly it was he said. The Good Lord took Bobby too soon. Why is it the good guys die first?

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Look at this Donkey Douche fella. He shoulda been first to go on the death list. Prison, drugs, skanks. Madon!

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I mean Goulet did his share of Wildebeasts. Wildebeasts, I says.

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One time he banged this girl and the next morning he thought he actually slept with Buddy Hackett. He also smoke unfiltered Camels like Nathan Lane sucks dicks, but who knew cigarettes were bad for you?

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And fuck that Donkey Douche and Father Time, whilst you’re at it.

9:03 am December, 9 DarkSock said...

sadf

9:03 am December, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Let’s play “Would You Rather” ! The game that’s sweeping across America !

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Would You Rather have Donkey Douche as a cellmate for a 2 year stretch or have Darksock’s surgery sans-anesthetic?

9:03 am December, 9 Douchble Helix said...

Shit changes in 3 hours. All the best to you, ‘Sock.

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Hand the keys over to The Rev, would you please?

9:12 am December, 9 Charles Douchewin said...

Apparently: “Hackett starred in the 1980 film Hey Babe! with a 13-year-old Yasmine Bleeth, in her first screen appearance.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddy_Hackett

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DarkSock – good luck – I hope your back is back in action soon.

9:14 am December, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fuck Dark Sock, this is the third time in a year fuck. I’ll take my failng cock for $800 Vin. Take care Sock and I’m back working tomorrow so I got time to ride this beast. Just leave the secret portal open.

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Drunk. Son. Why wasn’t school this easier when I done be younger and shit like. Wooooow!

9:22 am December, 9 Vin Douchal said...

The Rev’s cheering section go nuts at the curling meet

9:54 am December, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Me and the proctor, one of us stoned, waiting for 1 pm to strike on the old school clock as we longingly look out the window. Hundreds in swarms of girls in yoga pants and parkas, too young to know that their thighs will soon be rubbing together, butts descending like a prolapsed colon, and boobs going to 9 and 3 o’clock, soon becoming their mothers who are younger than me.

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Fuck you old father time and sagging balls. And lets get this shit over with so I can drink before the 4:30 train comes along, speeding me home like my life to an end..and shit.

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Anf fuck you donkey

douche and your weird twisted tit chicks.

10:08 am December, 9 DarkSock said...

What Rev said

10:45 am December, 9 Et Tu Douche? said...

Buddy Hackett? Didn’t Gary Busey play him in a movie many years back?

3:11 pm December, 9 Wheezer said...

‘Sock, good luck with your surgery and don’t let the doc play with your coccyx.

8:23 pm December, 9 Only Women Bleeth said...

Good to see the same crew still mocking all that is douche 3 years down the track

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