Monday, January 6, 2014
Mack the Nozzle Refuses to Accept it's 2014
Somewhere in this hottie/douchey/tranny car crash of Paulwalkerian proportions (too soon?), HCwDB (non)legend Mack the Nozzle refuses to let go of 2008.
Refuses, he tells ya.
Eye tatts and stupidface will not go gently into that good after party.
I have seen train wrecks that look less like train wreck than that. The Peroxide Tranny Triplets should join a real circus.
The Cincinnati Bengals could use that crew.
The Nozz needs to join a new book club.
The wind chill is minus 30 here. I’d rather be here than with that side show in Vegas.
Mack the – OMG those tits are huge – what?
ACK ! That blonde monstrosity has a hold of your balls in a vice-like grip and won’t stop until you , like her, have a violent gender rearrangment.
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One look upon entering this room would cause me to wonder where the fucck I went wrong …. dregs
wow, that blond guy in the middle has huge boobs.
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,
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and I’m with the two on the right. Just look away and try and forget you ever saw this frightening sight.
If there’s two things I hate more than this picture it’s the post-New Year fitness craze and the anti-bullying movement.
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Because I wouldn’t be half the wreck I am without an anti-fitness attitude and all the beatings I gave bullies.
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Cunts
I’ve hated this assmunch negative-image skunk since he was Archie McScrote.
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Fuck you, Archie.
Agreed. But my hatred for this asshat is his association with the lovely Francine. I hope she just hung out and never let his filthy gorilla fingers anywhere near her delicious lady bits.
Yes, he sullied the lovely Francine for far too long, though she did thankfully slip from his booger-picking clutches.
Meanwhile, speaking of huge dicks…
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My dick is so big it has chest hair and a partial nipple.
My dick is so big it has partially formed lungs and can make sounds reminiscent of Matt Damon having an orgasm when it’s angry.
My dick is so big it had a recurring guest spot on “Duck Dynasty” until they kicked it off the show after I shaved my balls.
My dick is so big it takes 3 silverback gorillas and the only functioning U.S. Icebreaker, the “Polar Star”, to jack it off.
My dick is so big it belches during sex.
My dick is so big it has to follow me to work in its own S.U.V.
My dick is so big it has to fly freight.
My dick is so big it buys chapstick.
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.
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What?
My dick is so big it has it’s own NFL franchise.
My dick is so big my feet have never touched the ground.
Your move.
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Dicks.
My dick is so big it has subwoofers.
My dick is so big it made people forget the Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee home movie hummer.
My dick is so big I can only have sex with human females while they’re having C-sections.
My dick is so big the USDA has declared it to not be “organic”.
My dick is so big farmers shave my balls with John Deere tractors.
My dick is so big it makes Dark Sock’s dick giggle.
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Dick giggle, I says.
My dick is so big it uses the Holland Tunnel as a cockk ring.
My dick is so big it has its own congressional district.
My dick is so big Plinky’s Mom could almost feel it.
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Okay. I made that up.
My dick is so big two days after it jizzes that county looks like a dry lake bed.
My dick is so big it needs to enroll itself in Obamacare.
My dick is so big the doctors that birthed me are still delivering it.
My dick is so big that it served as a stunt double for Sharknado.
My dick is so big Paul Burns gave up trying to do a documentary about it.
My dick is so big it needs to wear 10 pairs of Beats head phones.
My dick is so big it has Live Oak infestations.
My dick is so big it has its own weather system.
My dick is so big I can shave bacon off of it.
My dick is so big it has bark.
My dick is so big it ejaculates fetuses.
My dick is so big it was thought to cause Global Warming but now is blamed for ushering in the new Ice Age.
My dick is so big the Taliban signed an armistice with it.
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Armistice, I says.
My dick is so big it used the Alaskan Pipeline as a catheter.
My dick is so big it has feet.
My dick is so big it’s mentioned in the Talmud.
My dick is so big it has its own bowl game.
My dick is so big it made Dick Vitale speechless.
My dick is so big my lower abdomen is reinforced with Adamantium.
My dick is so big it doesn’t matter if she neglects the balls.
My dick is so big I went out in this hellish early winter and my cock didn’t shrink.
My dick is so big Alec Baldwin said, “Wow, that’s a big dick!”
Geez, it’s about time Rev…
My dick is so big, that it laughs at me.
My dick is so big it has its own dog.
My dick is so big, I’ve been pleasuring Mr. Kroeger with the Cialis whilst we were strategically considering her opening up a new firm for the last hour.
My dig is so big, I don’t use a hoe.
My dick is so big, I still have a piss boner after errantly watching Joan Rivers on E!
My dick is so big, I catamaran on it.
My dick is so big, I used it as an outrigger.
My dick is so big, it used to be blackish blue.
My dick is so big, I’m going out to get more stoned …. and shit. Word sons.
My dick is so big aliens have visited it.
My dick is so big it forces Canadians to do drugs.
My dick is so big it was hacked by Guccifer.
My dick is so big, I’ve been forced to do drugs. Wh?
My dick is so big I fucked the Chunnel.
My dick is so big you can see what’s behind it due to gravitational lensing.
My dick is so big Donald Trump thinks it’s a hoax.
My dick is so big Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
My dick is so big it has a director’s cut.
My dick is so big I use a Lockheed C-5 fuselage as a condom.
My dick is so big it had breast reduction surgery.
My dick is so big it drives around in a brand new Bugatti Veyron while I still drive an ’84 Toyota Camry.
My dick is so big it has a dick. And my dick’s dick is still bigger than your dick.
My dick is so big I have to use a map in order to jack off.
My dick is so big it’s subject to DOT regulations, my balls have to carry chains, and I have to use air braking when fucking a chick.
My dick is so big I shave my balls with a grain thresher.
My dick is so big I’m really asleep right now, and my dick is typing this.
My dick is so big I cum in short tons.
My dick is so big I’m it’s bitch.
My dick is so big I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.
My dick is so big I fuck culverts.
My dick is so big my asshole turns inside out whenever I get a boner.
My dick is so big I fuck hydrogen and cum helium.
My dick is so big I can sit back on my balls like bean bag chairs.
My dick is so big, I piss cold.
My dick is so big it’s not measured in inches…it’s measured in horsepower.
My dick is so big is doesn’t affect the weather…it IS the weather.
My dick is so big it ate a baby.
My dick is so big Dark Sock peed in it once.
My dick is so big there is 30 degree temperature difference from the base to the tip.
My dick is so big herpes is afraid of it.
What a sausage festival!
My dick is so big it ate the Dingo that ate the baby.
My dick is so big it smoked menthols.
My dick is so big it has its own big dick.
My dick is so big, it ha a HEMI.
Mt dick is so big it files taxes…late.
My dick is so big it has a bus stop.
My dick is so big it taxis into vaginas.
My dick is so big it has a lap.