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APRIL'S FOOL!!!
DarkSock™ here, helming this week’s important work of posting pictures of Hot Chicks with Total and Complete Douchebags™. With Commentary™.
DB1 is out on field assignment (aka a booze-fueled week-long black-out binge in Vegas) so once again I grab his staff and hoist it high! Wait…poor choice of words…but you get the picture.
In fact, the first picture you get is this one here. It’s April Fools’ day. Hence this Fool. I dub him “PunchMe Douche”, for reasons that should be immediately obvious. Toilet-swirl hair, metro soul patch, Gramma’s sunglasses…ugh.
And then there’s poor Judy, wearing on her face both the windshield of a ’78 AMC Pacer and a look of deep regret; she can still taste the brackish tang of his spittle from his last crass loveless kiss, streaked with the acrid flavors of last night’s nine ill-advised Red Bull and Goose shooters plus the thin grease of his morning throw-up and Crest. The aforemented smooch being planted open-mouth on her in a vulgar display of territorial braggadocio as his brahs walked up fists a-pumping to the cabana to order a round of Sunday Bloody Maries.
Take that, Daddy…
Discuss the Freudian subtext of this garish spectacle, as always, in the comments sections. And by the way, for you lurkers and acolytes…click that comments link. For that is where the action is. If you only read the front page and gawk at the picture before flitting off to your favorite cat-pictures website they you are truly missing out on The Rest Of The Story. Son.
April's Fool
Last summer’s Weekly winner, and crown of gel tool, King Douchuous the IV, wanted to stop by and say Happy April Fools.
And by April, that’s April. On the left. Showing off her curvy lil’ showers.
Hi there, April. I see you. Yes I do. Smoogums.
And by fools, I mean King D is still a heaping serving of pro-douche. Not amateur enough to really annoy. But clowny enough to entertain on a Tuesday.
Friday Thoughts and Links
I only wish the Night Oranger were an April Fools joke.
Sadly, that dragon tatt is all sorts of fake-tanned reality.
Crazy Eyes Kendra may be an extra from “Prince of Persia 3: The Epstein Bar Mitzvah,” but her curves are firm and taut.
And so they take us softly into Friday Thoughts and Links.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Call me Mr. Lamb Fries!”
Here’s a hilariously stupid Russian Wedding Video, unfortunately with unfunny sound effects added. I both celebrate and blame the black dude from “Police Academy” for unleashing decades of comedic fart and helicopter noise imitators.
Waiting for Godot: The Videogame
Rutgers University pays Snooki more money to speak than it paid Toni Morrison. Your humble narrator hangs his head in shame.
National Hockey League something or other Brandon Prust is getting it on with numerous hotts while cheating on his girlfriend Michelle Trachtenburg. Cheating on a quality Semitic librarian hott like Trachtenburg is a huge wtf no-no, but the dude’s young, a successful athlete, makes millions, and scores quality suckle thigh. So there’s that.
All you need to know about life: Fagabeefe.
Some Thief stole a computer and then got busted by the owners of the computer, who found the pud rocking out, douche style.
But you are not here for theifs dancing douche style. You are hear for fruity chomp pear. Here ya go:
Mmmm. Like warm summer brownies on a cool misty evening. And chompy suckle bite.
The weekend is nigh.
Anti-'Bag Aura
Tank actually illustrates the inverse of yesterday’s “Scrotal Aura” in that he’s less douchey than the sum of his parts.
Sure he’s gone the smug grin, the incomprehensible body tatts, the tighty-tight black d-beater, and a spiky hair point.
But his embrace of Banana Daiquiri Lemon Drop is relatively unthreatening. Overall he just comes off as generic. In short, despite so many douchal signifiers, he’s actually less douchey than the math states he should be.
It’s a rare occurrence, and we should take note. And by note, I mean yellow bikini bottoms make the Sultan break into song.
EDIT: Here’s a second pic of Banana Daiquiri Lemon Drop to confirm the uberhott.
EDIT #2: April Fools!! He’s a huge douche.
Anti-‘Bag Aura
Tank actually illustrates the inverse of yesterday’s “Scrotal Aura” in that he’s less douchey than the sum of his parts.
Sure he’s gone the smug grin, the incomprehensible body tatts, the tighty-tight black d-beater, and a spiky hair point.
But his embrace of Banana Daiquiri Lemon Drop is relatively unthreatening. Overall he just comes off as generic. In short, despite so many douchal signifiers, he’s actually less douchey than the math states he should be.
It’s a rare occurrence, and we should take note. And by note, I mean yellow bikini bottoms make the Sultan break into song.
EDIT: Here’s a second pic of Banana Daiquiri Lemon Drop to confirm the uberhott.
EDIT #2: April Fools!! He’s a huge douche.
