About HCwDB

Welcome to HCwDB!

This is where it all started. Where hottie/douchey mock first began, back in the dark days of 2006. The days of Von Dutch and Affliction and “Pick up Artists” polluting our globe without response.

Well one day, after a particularly grease-worthy interaction with a douchebag mugging a hottie in Los Angeles, I had had enough. I moved my luddite ass online, found a free blogging site and registered hotchickswithdouchebags.com as one man’s cry in the wilderness against the cacaphony of scrote. One ‘bag hunter who had reached his limit, Taxi Blogger style.

Quickly I discovered there were others like me. Others who shared my disdain for douche culture, Axe Bodyspray and the many chest shaved orange tanned assclowns who were on a mission to mug our hottie supply on a daily basis.

Soon dozens of readers turned into hundreds. HCwDB was written up in Rolling Stone and Playboy. I was interviewed on dozens of radio stations. By 2007, my readership surged into the tens of thousands a day. I’ve gotten emails from all corners of the globe, proving HCwDB’s journey was well needed in this time and this place.

And if we get to stare at boobies along the way, then all the better.

There are many sites trying to copy the Hot Chicks with Douchebags comedy style all across the interwebs. Some even “borrow” the pics featured here. But there’s only one HCwDB. And you are in the place where it all began.

My site’s gone on to become a book (Hot Chicks with Douchebags), a show (MTV’s Is She Really Going Out With Him?), and even “inspired” (ripped off by) many other shows (Tool Academy, Jersey Shore). My book was in development at New Line Cinema and I was hired to write the script. Two drafts later and New Line got cold feet, so now the movie’s in turnaround. But we’re still shopping it and have some promising leads.

But this is the real deal. Where hottie/scrotey deconstruction takes place every day.

Who am I? I’m DB1, your humble narrator on the strange journey into the global scrotal plague. So pull up a chair. Grab a tasty Mr. Pibb from my freezer. Have a HoHo. Or a Twinkie. Sign up on WordPress and participate in the comments threads and on the message board. Be sure to check out the Scrotometer and start voting directly on the pics.

But most of all, realize that garish name-brand douche culture can be solved through one and only one methodology: The art of the mock.

HCwDB FAQ

Q: What exactly is a douchebag?

A: A douchebag is not defined as simply a series of hand gestures, facial expressions, overly gelled hair or a giant Jesus bling around the neck. A douchebag is a state of mind. It is a place where men go to become scrote. Where machismo mixes with testosterone to form a foul cocktail of rank sewage that smells vaguely of cheap cologne.

Q: What is “The Grieco”?

A: The Grieco refers to the early 90s b-movie actor and star of 21 Jump Street, Richard Grieco. Richard Grieco spent much of the 1990s perfecting the douchebag look with his overly quaffed hair, excessive bling, tats, and leather jacket over a wife-beater t-shirt. Grieco is the source template for the modern day Douchebag, and so he has attained exalted status on our douche shrine and scrote hierarchy. Others, like The Baio, The Tyson, the Bluntbag and even our long missing The Shocker are sources of ‘bag radiation. But none can compare to The Grieco for sheer pull.

Q: Well then what is “The Bleeth” or “Fair Maiden Bleeth”?

A: Fair Maiden Bleeth refers to television star and Baywatch beauty Yasmine Bleeth. A former wonder of nature, Fair Maiden Bleeth found herself enthralled and charmed by The Grieco in the mid 1990s. Her time spent in the presence of such unholy douchitude infected her with enough Grieco ‘Bag Virus to kill a large horse, yet Fair Maiden Bleeth survived. Barely. Her coked out mug shot after four years of being exposed to such heinous douchitude can be seen in the archives of this blog. She is the warning to all hotties featured on this site of what awaits them if they continue down the ‘bag path to greasy scrotitude.

Q: What exactly is Cleavite?

A: Cleavite is not cleavage, and the two shall never be confused. Cleavite is the area of a woman’s cleavage that is paler than the rest due to less exposure to the sun. It is all that is holy and good in the universe. It tempts us with what is forbidden yet is being subtly and coyly revealed. It promises us wonders and worlds of exploration hidden behind that thin layer of fabric. Cleavite is like Manna from heaven. It also summons the douchebag like moths to electric blue light.

Q: I don’t understand many of the terms I read on your site and in your comments threads. What are things like “Samurai Scrote” and “I peed in a horse once”?

A: Over the years and among the brilliant regulars in the comments thread, many terms and expressions have taken root, and my best recommendation is to read the threads every day and all will become clear. Or simply create a profile and ask a regular for clarification on something you don’t understand. We’ve developed a bit of our own language here, but to describe the atrocities we see on a daily basis, new words were clearly needed.

Q: Aren’t all douchebags from Jersey?

A: While the douche force is strong in Jersey, it is not the only Typhoid Mary of the Grieco virus. Jersey Douches remain the most obvious of the mockable scumbuckets who continue to molest hotties on a daily basis, and they will always have a home here at HCwDB. But we also explore the secondary and tertiary douche. The tonguebags, the handbags, the cactus heads and yes even the Fratchoads.

Q: I’m in a picture and upset and would like you to remove it. How can I do that?

A: If you’re spiritually weak and cannot sustain the verbal beating you or your loved one morally deserves, simply email me at douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com, specify that it is you in the pic and you’d like it removed, and I will remove it. Or if a comment in the comments thread relays any personal information and I missed it (I don’t check all comments), email me and I will delete the comment.

Q: I think you’re a genius with six-pack abs and are completely un-’Baggy in your handsome visage. Other than wanting to celebrate your supreme physical superiority, how can I submit my HCwDB picture to be included on your site?

A: First off, thank you for the praise of my physical superiority. I am the Nietzschean ubermensch personified, so your praise is well justified. As to submitting pics, simply click on the “submit a pic” link at the top, or email me directly at douchebag1@hotchickswithdouchebags.com

Q: Can I submit a pic even if I did not take the pic?

A: Absolutely. But only if it has all the ingredients of a sick, disturbing, possibly arousing but most certainly headache inducing HCwDB combo effect. That means the photo must have one of each – one hot girl and one douched out jackass. Not one OR the other. Both. While I enjoy the bazillion prom photos people keep sending me, those pics don’t apply. Nor do six jackwad douchebags in a row with nary a hottie in sight. Please only send true HCwDB pics, and make sure the file sizes are small and the photos are at least 600 pixels wide.

Q: Who the hell are you?

A: Piss off.

Q: Are you on Facebook or Twitter?

A: I am on both. Facebook here and Twitter here

Q: Why do you call yourself “douchebag1”?

A: Because I’m a drunk and angry scrote myself, and I have to double fist bottles of tasty Night Train wine when I realize how many sweet, innocent young beauties are being groped by pathetic, greased up knobs as we speak.

Q: What’s the deal with the fact you tend to drink Night Train, PBRs, Thunderbird and Irish Rose?

A: It’s cheap, it’s good, and it’s cheap. And it tastes like your moms.

Q: What inspired you to create this site?

A: Your moms.

Q: What does HCwDB stand for?

A: Please leave. Now.