Tuesday, January 1, 2008

2008!


Happy New Year!! The DB1 has partially recovered, thanks to a few ‘Train spiked Irish Coffees, and my senses are slowly regaining the cognition to delineate between pancakes, boobies and fire hydrants.

Douchery was of the mostly fratpud kind on the streets of New York last night. A few teenagers sported cactus heads the size of Omaha, and drunk hotties abounded.

It will be interesting to chart the changing trends in douche culture this year. Already we’ve seen the pink popped collar and cactus heads giving way to the shirtless + spiky fwip-hawk haircut look in late 2007.

The hotts seemed to grow more classic, as the scrotes grew ever more adventurous. And by adventurous, I mean a gang of shrieking rhesus monkeys flinging poo like a simian Jackson Pollock.

Are shirtless grease-chests the Jesus Bling of 2008? Will mandanas replace the hat tilt? And how can I entice Neon Blue Dress Hott away from jerky Don Johnson Cowpie, featured here with bizarre cheek pubes?

Your humble narrator sits and ponders the shifting currents of performative douchebaggery and the hotties that continue to fall under their sway. What types of hottie/douchey combos will rise to the top in 2008?

To paraphrase the Beach Boys, God only knows what I’d mock without them…

# posted by douchebag1

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