Wednesday, May 5, 2010

2010: The Year We Shave Groin

I think it’s safe to say that Douchebag Groin Shave Reveal (GSR), the act of the ‘bag not only shorning his genital region like a lamb in heat, but selecting clothwear to display such knowledge to the larger world, has become a full blown epidemic.

And by full blown, I mean he wishes Kimmy, Kelly and Kaylie would pay more attention. But they won’t. It’s just for the pic, Bob. Now go fetch me a chicken pot pie.

Ladies Groin Shave Reveal? Still fully acceptable and deeply appreciated.

Dudes? You are douche.

Double standard? Yes. Yes it is.

# posted by douchebag1
11:24 am May, 5 scrotum pole said...

In the summer months groin shave is OK, but after Labor Day it is a definite fashion faux pas.

Just one man’s opinion.

11:27 am May, 5 Bagnonymous said...

The more LGSR the better, I say! Ladies–keep on shavin’ and bring it all the way down…and dont’ stop until we start to see a little “hood.”

.

Awww yeeeaaah, it’s summertime bitches.

11:29 am May, 5 Wheezer said...

I think I’d like to “make contact” with gray bikini hott on the right. Yowza, the curves on her ass pear are delectable!

11:38 am May, 5 Amerigo Vesdouchey said...

Apparently he can find time to shave his junk pubes but not his face pubes.

.

Also, if if he shows off his groin shave, shouldn’t he then hide his face non-shave…preferably in a bucket of Quikrete?

11:38 am May, 5 boatbutter said...

Double standards are twice as good as regular ones.

Fine collection of hotts…Big boobs are always awesome, but lithe, athletic ones are also appreciated.

11:40 am May, 5 Anonymous 3:16 said...

I find nothing inherently wrong with keeping things tidy in terms of groin area (on a male) and so on. However, the reveal makes it the uberdouche to me. Why? Contrast it with other issues of hygiene if you wish – deordorant – does one walk about in any manner to purposely display the fact one uses it? NO. Brushing teeth – again, is there any societal interaction with the only purpose to display the fact one brushes their teeth – NO.

12:01 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

I see zero fake boobs, and one real boob.

.

.

It doesn’t take Mr. White to do the math on this one.

12:14 pm May, 5 tall guy said...

delectable hotness in the frontline. Ladies groin shave is OK! Black bikini on the right of the douche has a particularly hot set of legs I’d love to lie between. The fact that I cannot see her legs does not matter.

12:15 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Wasn’t Medusa doing some “yard work” recently? If I remember correctly she said she had her hands on something small, brown, and furry…

12:33 pm May, 5 DarkSock said...

What’s next? Public urination so everyone can see how yellow his vitamin piss is?

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Mr. White, I’ll defer to you on this one.

12:33 pm May, 5 mr.reeve said...

Ladies who don’t shave/wax the groin region should be put to sleep for the bad bitches they are. This is a great day for hots. Two pics of perfection for this beautiful Cinco de Mayo day. That dude needs to be kicked in his gnards for showing his waxed region off. Pull up your shorts and relax Bobby. Also, wearing a belt by the water is unexceptable in my opinion but he probably needs it or were seeing fig and berries.

12:37 pm May, 5 Deltus said...

Female GSR should be the norm.

12:45 pm May, 5 retard said...

Female GS is a REQUIREMENT, not an option. The Reveal, however, can be done privately in my bedroom.

12:50 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

Several years ago I had a vasectomy (court-order.) The doctor instructed me to shave my groin.

Shaving the area above my junk wasn’t too bad, but I also had to shave my nuts. Imagine trying to remove the hair from two squishy walnuts. Let me tell you brothers, it ain’t easy.

The urologist worked out of a smelly, dingy office, in a part of Indianapolis you wouldn’t enter after dark. He was known only as “Fred.”

After a week or so, I was instructed to ejaculate into a Dixie Cup and bring the samples back to Fred, so he could check if there were any die-hard sperm still hanging around. Kinda’ like Al Queda in Afghanistan, after Operation Enduring Freedom.

I chose to take my chances on another unwanted kid. Fortunately Fred did enough damage down there to eliminate any further additions to my family.

Anyway, Groin Shave is not for the faint of heart, give these brave young men some credit.

BTW, after the procedure, my balls looked like a poorly plucked chicken that lost a violent cockfight.

1:12 pm May, 5 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

This douche gots no pubes, his pants they be hangin’

He’s hiding his choad, but those bitches be bangin’

Five hotts on the trot, Bob thinks he’s so fly

But he’s only the waiter, fetching hotts some pot pie

1:15 pm May, 5 Scrotediddilyumptious said...

I’ll bet my last dollar, and yes I am down to my last dollar, that there is not a single hair on any groin in that picture! And as the old joke goes, “only one hair on Douchie…… until it pees…..”

1:19 pm May, 5 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

He is scrawny and wearing his dads grey Sansabelt slacks- I hope he has a good view form here as it is all down hill.

The hots were merely tainted by this douche until Alice in the upper left flashed her gang sign. She in not only the ugliest of the hot, but a douche stain.

1:20 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

@Douche Scroets Scrociety,

.

I don’t know if you’re an old reg with a new name, or a relative newby to this site, but your poetic musings make me giggle every time.

.

Huzzah, good sir!

.

.

How bout a Limerick Wednesday for ol’ times sake, boss?

1:23 pm May, 5 Crucial Head said...

In strolled a douche with nary a pube

‘Twas sporting an anus covered in lube

The hotts tried so hard

To stiffen his nard

Unfortunately he still preferred dudes.

1:34 pm May, 5 Troy Tempest said...

I prefer women with some fur down under. I am a bit of a sasquatch myself, so I don’t bother trimming much of anything except the hair on my face, and eve nthat is hardly a regular event.

Hair is hair. If you got it, you got it, if you don’t you don’t. GSR is just a reflexive response to porn. People learn to salivate to videos of hairless people, then they will tend to salivate to hairless people off screen as well. GSR males are simply falling into that path of no resistance. The women are following the trends set by prostitutes, as a hairless cooter is less likely to acquire bugs with frequent use.

It used to be that prostitutes would wear cooter toupees called “Merkins”. When I go down South and ask people what their nationality is, and they say “Wulll I’m a MERKIN!” I always chuckle…

1:39 pm May, 5 Wedgie said...

^Ugh, fuccen Canadians.

1:45 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

A Midwestern scrote name of Bob,

Thought the dudes on the coast were the bomb.

But back in Des Moines,

While shaving his groin,

Cut off a good part of his knob.

1:51 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

I agree with Troy.

Give me at least a soul patch.

1:56 pm May, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

You mean Kimmy, Kelly, Kaylie, Katie and Kara, don’t you DB1?

1:57 pm May, 5 Claude Douchenburg said...

You mentioned Kimmy, Kelly and Kaylie, why would you leave out Kitty and Casey? Well, I will leave it out for all 5 of the cutie hotz and not be ashamed as the drag me off to jail.

2:05 pm May, 5 Whoop-di-douche said...

Thanks for the photo of your scrotum pole, Scrotum Pole. That’s about enough online groin shave reveal for the day.

2:06 pm May, 5 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Why did that lady have a bush? it almost went up to her belly button!! — Butters, South Park

2:08 pm May, 5 douche bigalow said...

T’ward GSR do I suddenly teeter,

waxing balz and my well-weathered peter

what on earth could be wrong

with a cleanly shorn shlong,

high and tight like a hairless anteater

2:09 pm May, 5 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Is that a 21 or a 4 on his hat? Either way his IQ is pretty low.

2:21 pm May, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Always need a landing strip.

2:48 pm May, 5 Chad Kroeger said...

Isn’t that the terrorist douchbag with the stupid bomb? The girls must have been his disguise.

2:50 pm May, 5 scrotum pole said...

^Wow,just wow.

7:59 pm May, 5 Stephanie said...

I think he just parks cars/is a valet who just happened into a party of girls. He just doesn’t even fit.

7:59 pm May, 5 doucheywallnuts said...

I think George Carlin – it may have been another old comedian – said that the platypus was evidence that God had a sense of humor. The guy in this picture might as well be platypus.

Five Hotts and a Platypus Douchebag.

12:04 am May, 6 Steve L. said...

speaking of double standards, i just double teamed my poor nether region with relentless imageries of Kimmy, Kelly, and Kaylie.

okay i guess that should’ve been “triple teamed”. stupid numbers.

3:42 am May, 6 Douche Scroets Scrociety said...

@ Crucial Head:

 

I’m a long time reader but a first time poster

My rhymes seem to flow just like a roller coaster

Douche fever has spread, that’s why I’m dejected

My home town of Auckland has now been infected

6:59 am May, 6 Mr. White said...

@darksock

I just got the Pantone iPhone app so I can accurately classify any urine samples on the spot. For example: Pantone 151? Get some water in you, stat!

10:33 am May, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

Groin shave on a man is wrong, wrong, wrong. Sorry. There’s nothing wrong with trimming it a bit, but a hairless peter is disgusting. The cock itself isn’t covered in hair (unless you’re Armenian), so shaving the skin around it bald doesn’t make any sense. And, as far as the balls go, well, Scrotum Pole so vividly demonstrated what’s wrong with that. Shaved balls look like victims. Any girl who will suck on your balls isn’t going to care if they’re a little fuzzy. Trim if you like but please don’t go full-clean and do NOT display GSR. You’re not a stripper. And if you are, you’re a gay one and you don’t care what the ladies think anyway.

.

To that, I’m a fan of the female shave simply ’cause you actually have to put your face IN the damn thing, and it’s just easier to get at that way. It’s a courtesy thing more than an appearance thing, I think. If I expect you to mash your face into it for the 40 minutes it takes me, I’m going to make it easy on you and as clean as possible. I’m going to be really gross here…Men, your pee comes out of a place that’s distant from your body. For us, it’s coming right out of the tap and gets all over everything. A bush can also be known as “piss mop”. Got it? That’s no way to welcome someone to clitsville, by having them dig through a pissy bramble patch.

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Too much? I’m sorry.

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