Bleeth

    Thursday, June 27, 2013

    Brothabag Alonzo Discovers The Holy Cantalopes

    Rick James, bitch

    There’s only one way to celebrate the discovery of The Holy Cantalopes.

    By donning a white walker headdress and cooing “Yeu no knothing Jon Snow” into the mirror until long after you cancelled HBO because the other shows all suck until Curb comes back.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, April 30, 2013

    Bleeeeeethsss

    photo (3)

    For those wanting more female douchebags, aka douchebaguettes, aka Bleeths, on the site, here ya go.

    “Douchettes in the Mirror” for $800, Alex.

    You know a classic ‘Bag who would enjoy sharing a tasty cola beverage with these Bleeths right about now?

    Of course you do.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, April 25, 2013

    Ask DB1: The Bleeth/Baguette Dichotomy

    a98744d9e89c51a198469d89dc1dae20_vice_390
    ——
    This picture begs the question: Can a female be a douche? Or is the evidence of a rampant Bleeth-soul-infestation (coke/meth’d out expression/plaything to smeared-mascara-lit-to-their eyeballs-party-choads) enough to condemn her for her poor recreational choices while, at the same time, praying for her soul?

    For as much as we want to save the Bleeth, we must use equal efforts to mock the slime who tempt and destroy them.

    But something tells me this young lass had as much to do with her dignity’s defenestration as any of the dudes in the picture. Thus, must she be considered every bit the douchebag as the dudes — just as she must have been considered a likely candidate for a double or triple penetration sometime later in the evening depicted.

    I will take my answer off the air.

    Choad the Douche Sprocket
    ——

    Not all Bleeths can be saved. As mentioned in this bestselling book of 2008/2009, stage-3 and stage-4 Bleeths are beyond hope, and should be mocked in accordance with the proper bylaws of standard douche mocking.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, April 18, 2013

    Bleeth Bleeth Tell Me Now….

    Bleeeethhhhh

    Is there something I should purchase to cure this itch on my inner thigh?

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, November 28, 2012

    When All the Single Ladies Make the Bleeth Face…

    …the Baby Tebus drops trou and projectile sharts on the Mona Lisa.

    Yeah, lookin’ at you, acclaimed author Michael Chabon. Top that literary sentence. Didn’t think so. Bitch.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, September 12, 2012

    The Scrabbler Hott

    Remember Virginia, when hott suckleblondes overtatt, a Grieco gets its hair gel.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, June 6, 2012

    Goose Runners and Bra Reveal

    This is another pic of a standard issue club-scrape pudwack posing with a lady in a strange bra-revealing dress.

    One pic is a specimen.

    Two pics is a trend.

    Like Herpster Glasses and Native American Headgear, is the neon-bra-reveal a new standard in Bleething of Hot Chick?

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, May 2, 2012

    Breaking: New Jersey Bleeth Arrested for Child Endorangement

    Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

    New Jersey: Where Bleeth Go to Burn.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 30, 2012

    The Velveteen Babbit

    … and little Johnny cried and cried… for his lip herp meant the villagers had to stone and set fire to the Velveteen Babbit, so she would not spread her rampant disease across the town… but the next morning, a *real* Velveteen Babbit appeared on little Johnny’s doorstep! And the moral of the story is love for stuffed animals prepares you for medical plagues…

    Velveteen.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, April 12, 2012

    An Entire World of Flush

    The douchal signifiers of this stenchy Jackalope and Bleethy Hott Nichole smell like Calcutta in August.

    I’m talking flies, rotting dog, and a discarded mound of backwash restaurant trash.

    Even the enhanced Cleavite on Bleethy Hott Nichole is not enough to soothe my troubled psyche as it faces a Camus novel worth of taint.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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