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    Tuesday, November 12, 2013

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    SurfPear

    “Surf n’ turf? More like Surf n’ ass!! Ha! ahaha!!.. Amirite, Chazz? Amirite, Brad?… C’mon bros, fist pound me…. Bros… don’t leave me hangin’… Bros. Not cool.”

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, May 13, 2013

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    MutantEye

    While working through night school, Jill was able to covertly practice her burgeoning veterinary skills on various wayward youths at “Miss Havisham’s Home for The Blind, Frail, and Creepily Douchey.”

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 8, 2013

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    287521_287636

    Beatrix Potter never did learn what cast her to the fifth circle of hell upon passing away quietly in her sleep in 1943. But she did quickly learn eleven new uses for carrots. Nine of which involved orifices.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, February 7, 2013

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    OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

    After Angie, Roberta, and Zach passed their third hour in the tub, the scented patchouli oil began to smell more and more like rancid fishmeat. Which was okay by Zach. For, coincedentally, rancid fishmeat was both the smell of his basement apartment at his mom’s house, and also the nickname he had for his facial pubes.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, January 3, 2013

    The End of All That Is Holy and Decent And The Rise of Douche Satan

    HorridBag

    And then this happened.

    EDIT: Caption This Pic contest in the threads. Top three to be posted this afternoon.

    EDIT #2: Your winners:

    #5: “What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas. Except Chlamydia.” — Bag em, Tag em

    #4: “Dr. Nick could never remember to put the valve stems on the INside of the chest cavity.” – Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche

    #3: “Why can’t I get that hard?” – Dickie Fingers

    #2: “As Tommy chomped on Cindy’s right breast she suddenly flew backwards over the horizon with a wet farting roar.” – DarkSock

    #1: “With the assistance of a Kevlar banana hammock stretched tightly against his anus, Danny’s falsetto voice could make breasts swell until they burst. To celebrate his achievements, he tattooed on his chest the name of the school where he picked up his unique ability: the School for Wanking Young Donkeys.” – Jacques Doucheteau

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 25, 2012

    CAPTION THIS PIC

    Joel Schumacher really needs to stop making movies.

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    # posted by Baron Von Goolo
    Thursday, September 13, 2012

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    “Frank Brody, less famous older brother of actor Adrien Brody, struggled for years with an addiction to Pez, coconut oil, and flesh-pillow suffocation fantasies.”

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, September 5, 2012

    Scenes from a New Jersey Kitchen

    Vlad: Estrago! Is that her?

    Estrago: Who?

    Vlad: Godottie!

    Estrago: Impossible! Is that undies poke over there?

    Vlad: Focus, Estrago! We must wait until she arrives!

    Estrago: (looking around) This kitchen is-

    Vlad: Yes?-

    Estrago: -made of plywood!

    Vlad: so?

    Estrago: It reminds me of one time in the Antilles when I shat on a squirrel.

    Vlad: That makes no sense?

    Estrago: It does thematically to the audience because it signifies the fractured nature of a nation traumatized by the war and unable to form coherency and meaning.

    Vlad: What should we do?

    Estrago: Perhaps if we wait a little longer, Godottie will arrive.

    Vlad: But what if she doesn’t come?

    Godottie: Guys, yo! I’m right here!

    Vlad: Heavens! This defeats the modernist themes underlying our crisis!

    Godottie: Screw that postwar expansion of narrative and start fondling my boobs!

    And… scene.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, August 23, 2012

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    #1: “It’s true! Grape Nuts contain neither grapes, nor nuts!”

    #2: “So I says, ‘Angie! I don’t care if he’s hung like Tommy Lee, Giuseppe is bad news!’ And she was like, ‘Nuh uh!’ And I was like, ‘Yuh huh!’ And then I set her weave on fire and it was, like, totes hilarious! You shoudda been there.”

    #3: “Chylamidia is that new diet skin cream they sell at Nordstroms, right?”

    Can you do better? Take yer best shot in the thread.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, August 16, 2012

    Caption This…

    Katie keeps it in!

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    # posted by DarkSock
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