Douchepose

    Monday, February 20, 2012

    Dream Skeever

    Inside Dream Skeever is a boy who just wants to be loved.

    By two chicks at the same time.

    Yup, it’s movie reference Monday.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, February 16, 2012

    Norway By Norwestway

    Yeah I’m down to Hitchcock references. Because my supply of Trader Joes Joe-Joes is of woefully low row.

    Jan Largemaan is both bemused and unamused at the same time.

    Pink pants for the Scandanavian tragedy.

    What’s Olav up to, you ask? Don’t ask.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, February 14, 2012

    Not Peaches

    There is only one Peaches.

    But since your humble narrator is amped up on caffeine and tasty processed flavored sugar snack cakes, lets all celebrate some random pear:

    Industrial Farming Pear

    Because I’m generous like that.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, February 8, 2012

    Goldilocks and The Three Beards

    Oh Katie on the far right, how I see your joyful glee. Like September rain or another stupid 80s song, I take you for karaoke and wine shooters until you have to go pee, and the bathroom is too dirty, and so we wander the streets of Minneapolis and make out by a mailbox.

    And then I go home.

    For the stains of Marty’s facial pubes are uponst your neck, and the tragedy is too much for me to overcome. Even as you cry a plaintive “Woo!” in the distance as I walk away.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, February 1, 2012

    Black Eye Joey Ignores Ladies in the East Village and Can’t Help it That They Have Daddy Issues

    Giggle Chloe moved to New York to be real. Then she moved to Brooklyn to be hip. Then she moved back to Ohio to get married and have a kid.
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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, January 27, 2012

    Marcus Runs With The Goose in Thailand

    More from the partying adventures of wayward rich American youth in torture cells in outer Thailand somwhere near the Cambodian/Prussian 38th parallel.

    This story don’t end well neither.

    For it features nipple clamps and blueberry pie. Served on a series of cascading rice patties held together by barbed wire and goat weed by a feral monkey named Dave.

    And David Lynch yawns and asks me to quietly leave his driveway without causing a fuss.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, January 23, 2012

    See no Douchey, Hear no Douchey, Smell no Douchey

    The Wank Fondle Brothers have synchronized hand gestures like Jagger.

    The Platinum Woo Hotts of Kappa Kappa Thigh Rub are pretty sure Ted is not really related to Justin Bieber, but they would like another round of lemon drops anyway. Woo!!! Please.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, January 9, 2012

    Nick the Richard Approves of the HCwDB of the Week

    But not as much as the rare “Subtle Boob Fondle Of Milfy Suburban Moms Out For a Night of Drinking While Taking a Pic To Get Back at Karen’s Husband” move.

    A move, I should add, that was first patented by Salvador Dali while seeking cure for lupus in the natural hot springs of Bilbao, Spain, in the late 1930s.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, January 4, 2012

    Bathrooms. Cell Phones. A Rhesus Monkey Flings Poo.

    Boston University’s sophomore year keggers always end with Mindy in the bathroom with Brad, a bottle of hair gel, and a package of ass wipes on the floor.

    And by ass wipes on the floor, I mean Brad.

    And 2011’s Greatest Crisis of Modernity continues to haunt our society with steaming rhesus monkey poo fling.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, December 28, 2011

    Captain Wank Salutes All Math Majors In Over Their Head

    Charleene has come a long way since taking the midnight train headed an-y-where.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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