Douchepose

    Monday, March 4, 2013

    Vinny Farfalla and Slutty Suzette Experiment with Chains

    UndeadBag2

    The way Vin and Suzette see it, chains are a metaphor for the thematic constrictions of societal imposition.

    As our consciousness forms, we intuit the structural norms as understood by the cultures and institutions we abide in. Slowly, our true selves become more and more alienated by this breakdown in the symbolic and structural orders of consciousness.

    The only solution to resolve this alienation?

    Lots of chain-link butt paddle.

    Ubiquitous Red Cup sternly, and with great consternation, shakes its red plastic outer rim with anger at this cohabit.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, January 21, 2013

    Monday Crisis. And AbaCrab.

    !abacrab
    DarkSock here at the helm again, with ominous news.

    Our hairless leader, DB1, aka Jay Louis, lies in a coma.

    He was found late last night surrounded by a halo of empty Night Train bottles and what appeared to be an empty footlocker once filled with hoarded Hostess™ treats such as Ho-Hos and Twinkies. His shiftless mass was buried under a translucent shroud of shucked snack food wrappers.

    He now lies in state in a Los Angeles hospital in a diabetic coma. It is not clear if this was a drunken binge or an attempt to end the crushing despair following the collapse of the corn syrup giant that until recently spewed forth such tasty treats. Given that he posted the news of the downfall of Hostess as “The End Of Joy”, he is now on suicide watch.

    Until we know more, we must carry on, wayward sons. With Mock.

    Take for example the dongle in the adjacent photograph, whom I’ve named “AbaCrab”.

    Six pound watch, gratuitous display of his torso, which has been shorn more hairless than a fetal pig’s belly, and of course the dangerously over-siliconed girlfriend exacting endless revenge on Daddy, who cared more for SportsCenter™ than her.

    What say you, faithful readers?  Dissect this crass display, as always, in the comments section.  In the meantime I shall endeavor to tirelessly comb DB1′s filthy apartment in the hopes for some sort of sign, some tiny clue, as to where he has stashed his Vicodin™.

    Oh…almost forgot…Gratuitous Pear.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by DarkSock
    Monday, October 22, 2012

    THE ULTIMATE ICEBREAKER

    Rosa is no easy pick up. She of the flawless caramel skin, the taut yet supple belly and the cleavite so glorious it must be restrained by no less than two articles of clothing – lest mortal men be struck dumb and blind by their brilliance – is not one to fall easily for a paunchy gringo in a $20 tee and a technicolor dream hat.

    Luckily for Buddy, he learned to smoke through his dick and blow smoke rings out his ass while doing seven months in Yardville for tagging a Wawa. Good for you, Buddy. It pays to have skills.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by Baron Von Goolo
    Thursday, October 18, 2012

    Shmucky Goldstein Flips You Off, Vyvyan Style

    Vyvyan style is no way to talk to a village elder, Shmucky.

    Sarah Goldstein’s Bleething is slight but her Persian Semitic-hott pudge buggle sings siren songs of pooch spackle cupcake slobber, and for that I paw her Mikvah with Talmudic aplomb.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 11, 2012

    Marty Crotchenrott ruins Amanda’s Vegas Trip

    Amanda’s Nana back in Urbana will not be pleased. Neither by the Facebook pics. Nor the pap smear results.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, August 7, 2012

    Richy McShuckhole and Debutante Carolyn Spell “EMU”

    Later, they’ll use their tongues to spell “LL”.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, July 17, 2012

    Two Word Tuesday

    Hot

    Hot Taco?**

     

    **Y’know what?  This pic is just too rank for one category; so feel free to also make this a “Caption This” fest as well.

    -D.S.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by DarkSock
    Wednesday, June 27, 2012

    Marty Seyz…

    “I like to look at champagne more than boobs!”

    Marty is very literal in expressing his effusiveness.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, June 20, 2012

    Orange Mike Doggie ‘Bags Meghan

    Gotta get a little classic HCwDB all up in this place after witnessing my childhood hero, Mr. Ford, morph from a wisecracking movie star into an old curmudgeon in less than thirty years.

    That’s okay, Harrison. We’ll always have 1977-1982.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Sunday, June 10, 2012

    Richard Grieco on the Adam Carolla Show

    The Unholy Grieco was recently on the Adam Carolla show.

    Your humble narrator was also once on the Adam Carolla show.

    There is now one degree of separation between The Grieco Virus and the DB1. And all that stands between us is the Carolla. The battle continues.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
Older Posts