Dumbass
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Wednesday, December 5, 2012
- @ 2:43 PM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 18 comments
- @ 12:46 PM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 19 comments
- @ 2:36 PM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 25 comments
- @ 3:10 PM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 32 comments
- @ 2:00 PM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 22 comments
Livin’ the Beard
I’m not sure it qualifies as classically douchey, but for those men losing their hair who do the inverted shaved-head/beard thing, uhm no. Please stop.
Dominatrix Monica suffocates me with the tatted thigh, and I thank her for it and ask for more.
Loading ...Mr. Skidoo Takes Sophie on a Most Expensive First Date
Sophie ordered the lobster.
Mr. Skidoo had the crabs.
Loading ...Joey Takes Umbrage
Joey does not appreciate dead baby jokes.
Loading ...Champagne Katie Vs. Nipstachio
Speaking of HCwDB legends, for those wondering what’s up with confused HCwDB hottie, failed Hall of Hott Candidate, lawsuit filer, and all around internet attention ho’, Champagne Katie, turns out she’s currently in congress with failed Lucho Libre sensation Nipstachio.
Oh well.
There’s always tautpooch chew toy C.K. Beach Pear to help us recover.
Loading ...Chester and Lana Pose for a Self Portrait Using a Bathroom Mirror
Bustiers and Aqua Shirts suggest they are attending an academic conference on post-Derridean deconstruction in the reconfiguration of global praxis.
Either that, or the $4.99 hot wings all-you-can-eat special at Surfer’s Delight off of Pico.
Loading ...Friday Haiku
“Mmmm…nice firm Buddhas“…
Far away, angry monks
beat a Dolly Llama.
At my inner peace
With outer hostility
bitch-slapping this tool
– Charles Nelson Douchely
Crunches not working
For brunette. Salty diet caused
Stroke then she picked him.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Douchebag cops a feel
Tibetans spin prayer wheels.
Buddha clubs a seal.
– hermit
“I am destroyer
of dignity”. Bleeths giggle
but no enlightenment.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Loading ...- @ 6:20 AM
- Categories: Dumbass, Friday Haiku
- 55 comments
Places to Store Your Cigarettes #42
Well, I suppose it’s better than the pooper.
Yup. That’s as creative as it gets on a Friday.
I shouldn’ta eaten all those Twinkies yesterday.
Loading ...- @ 9:20 AM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 26 comments
Wrong Drink Roofied, Rufus?
Rufus ain’t feelin’ so good…things are getting a little hazy…wait, is this HER appletini?
Oh no…not again…
*thump*….zzzzzzzzz
Loading ...- @ 9:50 AM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 43 comments
Froey Buttafucco
What’s that?…
In the distance…
That strange buzzing noise…
Why… it’s a Blueberry Snot Pie!!
And it’s whizzing… right… towards… Winkolio’s face…
SPLAT!!
I would chew through legion of intertwined dancing licorice koalas just for the chance to softly rub the childhood blankie of the Malaysian seamstress who helped vulcanize the rubber that produced Lindsey’s taut boobal sweat. And then I would repose with a port wine, and read her Chaucer.
Loading ...- @ 9:20 AM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 32 comments
The Lickwipe
I was gonna rag on the Lickwipe’s unholy presence near Sexy Poochtickle Trina, but then I realized we have celebrity guest mocker Mike Tyson willing to step in and do the job.
Mike, what would you like to say to the Lickwipe?
Mike Tyson: I’d just like to thay that the Lickwipe is tho thtupid! If I were still fighting, I would totally pop him in the mouth.
Yes. His head is very shiny.
Mike Tyson: Tho Thiny! It makes me weep for the lost childhood I reacted to with mindless aggression as a wayward man child.
You did have a tough childhood, Mike.
Mike Tyson: My pigeons were my Rosebud. That’s a metaphor you know. You ever see Thitizen Kane?
Of course, great film. Orson Welles is a genius.
Mike Tyson: Who that? Did I ever fight him?
Yes. Yes. Yes you did.
Mike Tyson: I knew it! They thay I ain’t go no memory, whatnot with the punches to the head and all, but I totally showed them! I’m taking night classes for nursing. And I thtudy the philothophy of Heidegger and Kant.
Really? Heidegger and Kant? What’s your take on phenomenology versus psychoanalysis?
Mike Tyson: I just shitting you. I don’t read no philosophy. Come on man, think! I got tigers.
Any other thoughts, Mike?
Mike Tyson: I would show affections for Trina by buying her expenthive jewelry. And then smacking her in the ass with my fist. Women like that.
I’m not sure that’s true, Mike.
Mike Tyson: Maybe you’re right. Hey, wanna watch Leno?
No thanks, Mike. Gotta go.
Anddddd… scene.
Loading ...- @ 2:00 PM
- Categories: Dumbass
- 29 comments
