Eurobag

    Thursday, January 23, 2014

    That Greasy Eurodude And Librarian Hott Kelly at a Multicultural White Party

    unnamed (21)

    Hells if I remember these two as well.

    Alls I know is The Captain and Tennille are divorcing.

    So life has no meaning.

    Except, of course, for Librarian Hott Kelly’s hint of pokey cleavite.

    Wait, didn’t Pokey Cleavite play shortstop for the Dodgers back in the 90s?

     

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, January 16, 2014

    Fritz Von Helmut Says “Guten Tag, Mein Hotties!”

    FritzVonHelmut

    Fritz Von Helmut has ze mad game, ya?

    What about Rusty, ya? He bringin und game too, ya?

    In an unrelated historical footnote, Fritz Von Helmut’s grandparents did not like my grandparents.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, October 7, 2013

    Lex Doucher Plots World Domination, Luscious Maria Giggles

    Lex Doucher tries to steal your soul

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time on this earth, it’s never ever trust anyone who looks like a Germanic Hugh Laurie. Even when they don’t look particularly douchey. Something’s up.

    Luscious Maria will find out what it is soon enough. My guess is it will involve Germanic performance art as first innovated by Mr. Hans.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, September 11, 2013

    And then, in Germany, this happened.

    DuetcheBag

    Worst. Post-Holocaust. Germanic Atrocity. Ever.

    Well. Other than this guy.

    Poodles.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, July 23, 2013

    The Smirkonomous Looks Forward to Seeing “Carlos Danger”

    Smirkonomous

    When not posing sexily in Cosby-era Christmas sweaters with delightful Nordic sucklebottoms such as Alica, The Smirkonomous is a big fan of the extended Marvel universe and is looking forward to seeing “Carlos Danger.”

    Although The Smirkonomous would have preferred the casting of an action star like Chris Hemsworth over that Weiner guy.

    But The Smirkonomous will make do. For The Smirkonomous can’t think too heavily about such things. There are more sexy pose to make.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 22, 2013

    The Smirkonomous Is Better Than You

    Smirkonomous2

    The Smirkonmous Knows this.

    Because when the Smirkonomous pays for bottle service Ashley giggles and coos like a feral seal.

    This confirms the Smirkonomous’s genetic worth and validity to reproduce within the gene pool.

    Well, that and his bangin’ Christmas sweater.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, July 10, 2013

    80s Preppies Live on In Europe

    eurotrash-and-giggle-hotts

    Europe has always been a few years behind on the douche trends. But three decades? Seems a bit much.

    Scandanavian Hott giggle sounds like a newborn wildebeest eating a truffle. Fact.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, June 11, 2013

    Swirly Johanssen Is in Way Over His Swirly Head With Sultry Carolyn

    Intense Peptic Ulcer

    Sultry Carolyn toys with her prey.

    For no amount of rosary bling can redeem the Swirl’s groinal aspirations.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 29, 2013

    Laser Swag

    1025

    Dear Fabrizio.

    I’m glad that your uncle owns stock in Ferrari. And it’s enough to earn you the temporary affections of Monica Belucci’s younger sister, Federica Belucci.

    But earwig + bling + stupid hair + douche everything means you deserve societal wretch across your stupidface.

    Sincerely,

    - All

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, March 18, 2013

    Sheeney Head Shane Skips School To Get Craaazy With Swedish High School Girls!!

    swedish_girls_28

    This is a scene from the Joseph Goebbles biopic, right?

    Nazi references for the joke-killing loss.

    It’s like the anti-humor variant of Godwin’s Law.

    Besides, just because Swedes are Aryans, that does not make them Nazis. I dated a Swedish girl in my 20s. She was very attractive. Or maybe she was from Denmark. Alls I know is she was blond and had very white teeth and was an Au Pear. It was the best of times. I have no idea where this story is going. Perhaps I should have a coffee.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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