Friday Haiku
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Friday, May 17, 2013
- @ 6:00 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
- 70 comments
- @ 7:00 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 7:00 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 7:00 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 7:00 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 7:02 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 5:13 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 6:52 AM
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- @ 4:00 AM
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Friday Haiku
“Sorry, we don’t stock
Tuxedos for Gorillas…”
Wears shirt to wedding
Anthony never
got off that inflatable
sumo wrasslin’ suit.
– Douche Wayne
Bridal registry
For these two is at Walgreen’s
Pharmacy counter
– DoucheyWallnuts
Peter Pumpin’s arms
now too short to wipe his ass
Scent of poo lingers
– Magnum Douche P.I.
The reception was
Elegantly catered by
Twin Labs and MetRx
– Capt. James T. Douche
They spent beaucoup bucks
on getting Nipsey Russell
to officiate.
– Douche Wayne
Their genitals shrink
Whilst other body parts grow
Naked, horror show
– DoucheyWallnuts
I now pronounce you…
Umm… Err… I now pronounce you…
Congrats both of you (nervous laughter)
– Capt. James T. Douche
The clink of empty
Synthol vials was heard from
Behind their Hyundai
– Capt. James T. Douche
Don’t worry Peter
Your new wife understands the
pain of losing balls.
– Shaft Junk
Her penis don’t move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
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Jim Bob suffered from
Alopecia of the chest;
It drove him to drink.
Rolling a fatty
Now means something different
Than it used to mean
Na mean?
– DoucheyWallnuts
He shaves his manboobs
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Years of busting through
walls reduced Kool-Aid Guy to
mental four year old.
– Douche Wayne
Indian princess
stay away from the crab cakes
of D. B. Sasquatch
– FredN.
Hott prepares to roll
Shamu back to his blue sea
As his shock sets in
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Show me your landing
strip, I’ll show you mine, said Chuck.
Not a chance said Kim
– Magnum Douche P. I.
The evils of the demon rum,
causes you to pass out,
and get your chest shaved poorly.
– I R A Darth Aggie
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She pulled his finger;
There came a sputtering sound -
Then he was smaller.
Fifty Cent could not
stay away from the crab cakes
now needs Epi-pen.
– Douche Wayne
out of convenience
he used her head as a swab
roids make your ass bleed
– creature
It puts the bicep
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Steroid hose.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
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She’d never forget
That day her boogers became
Sentient beings.
She shakes maracas
After gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– UFO Destroyers
The Tsarnaev brothers
Tried to go incognito
On their way to Hell
– DoucheyWallnuts
The Winklevoss Twins
cut loose after a tough day
counting their money.
– Douche Wayne
Reality Show
Herpes: The Deadliest Catch
Turns your Peen green, too
– DoucheyWallnuts
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Calvin, wondering
If Claire’s “carpet” matched her “drapes”,
Conspires to go down.
Victorian Age
Douchebag goes exploring in
Her oyster gully
– Capt. James T. Douche
He hasn’t breathed in
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Victorian Douche
Preparing to go down on
Victorian Bleeth
– DoucheyWallnuts
In the days before
feminine douche invented
The smells could be strong.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
1809 was
A momentous year, as muff
Diving invented
– Capt. James T. Douche
He put the helmet/em>
In the basket with a hose
The Purple Flesh Hose
– DoucheyWallnuts
“I’d like to be in
HER Octopus’s Garden!”
pondered Phineas.
– Douche Wayne
This dude just loves to
Swim with bow-legged women,
Dives between their knees.
– hermit
Friday haiku shows
mock is applicable to
douchebags throughout time
– Charles Douchewin
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“You wanna screw for
that nut?”, Todd joked…No, but she’ll
Screw for an iPad.
STD spreaders
public funds pay for your fun
which way to clinic
– Bag em, Tag em
He puts the screw in
The basket without a wrench
The Purple Flesh Wrench
– DoucheyWallnuts
For copulation
Needs WD-40
And a screwdriver
– DoucheyWallnuts
This coupling won’t work,
Unless he’s on the bottom,
And she’s a spinner.
– hermit
His hair turned to snakes
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Sometimes she feels like
A nut. Sometimes she don’t. I’d
Chew her Almond Joy.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
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Get your hands off her
You iPhone becrotched Tarzan;
You damn dirty ape
Father-daughter theme
dances: an invitation
into discomfort.
– Douche Wayne
Hot Hall Contender
Please tell me that’s your gay friend
Who’d like us to meet
– saulgoode42
Underboob beckons
Myan Eye of Coitus shines
My banana splits
– Mr. ScrotatoHead
If I wore loin cloth
My Indian name would be
Chief Raging renoB
– DoucheyWallnuts
Like a Bonobo
I would present my red ass
To father her chimps
– Mr. ScrotatoHead
Tarzan dumped Cheetah
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
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Jan sulks, Kevin broods.
He ain’t getting no gravy
On his Limp Bizkit
Chad found out climax
Is bad time for Dutch Oven
To be pulled on wife
– DoucheyWallnuts
She’s a chatty pro.
Wonders how to spend the next
55 minutes.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Behind the blonde hair
and soft blue eyes lies only
entropic disdain.
– Charles Douchewin
She cooks, does dishes
But why does your mom have to
Be in here with us?
– Vin J Douchal
Ken thinks ’bout baseball
to prolong sexy time, finds
bats an odd turn-on
– Morbo
Bro Kevin bought the
Axe spray, K-Y lube, rubbers
Forgot the blue pill
– Magnum Douche P. I.
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Kim Kardashian’s
Make-up artists celebrate
The end of their shift.
They don’t use bronzer
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Skittles and vodka
Ecstasy, too much dancing
Results in Puke Fest
– DoucheyWallnuts
Broseph and the
Amazing Technicolor
Dream Coat II – The Rave
– Magnum Douche P. I.
Brainless skull vacuum
Sucks pressure out of the room
Glowstick Explosion
– Justin Timberbag
Shining the Blue Light
Reveals the bacteria
That indicates Poo
– DoucheyWallnuts
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Look at that scary
Unnatural plastic doll.
A Chucky doll, too!
It puts the doll in
The basket or it gets the
Hose. The wooden hose.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Plastic harvested
From Bleeth gives life to Chucky
She’ll spawn many more
– DoucheyWallnuts
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