Friday Haiku
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Friday, May 18, 2012
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Friday Haiku
Showers, dignity,
Toothbrush…These are some things that
Häwk can live without.
Turds of a feather
Float together, Billy Ray’s
Son spreads douche virus
– Capt. James T. Douche
His bumper sticker
Says. “My other tattoo is bad
Chinese wallpaper.”
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
If you take away
Tatts and hot Asian girlfriend
Dull white guy remains
– Mrs. Nuttersquirt
The tears of a clown
Mix with hot asian lotion
To form pinkish film
– saulgoode42
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Adams Family
New Clothing Line for ‘bag/bleethes:
Tickle Me Fail-More
Satanic dentist
Needs two lovely assistants
To scrub off his chest
– saulgoode42
Wings of Death dripping
with blood? No; sweaty chest made
Crayola runny.
– Douche Wayne
Hunting for vampires
Turns on hots. Van Helsing has
Bag of silver d*ldos.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Cosmetology
School Grads **CUT** loose on grad night.
Eight weeks was killer!
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Vlad the Impaler
Has used his tool on these bleeths
It burns when he pees.
– Doucheywallnuts
How can we live in
A world where gothy Harlow
Wears McDonald’s wig?
– Nancy Dreuche
Rejected actors
From Von Goolo Halloween
Start own show, “Dullards”
– Vin Douchal
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Jim smiles; “Yes, they’re real.”
But Jim is referring to
Her seashell earrings
***********************
Jim’s proud of himself;
Redirected her money;
Nose job? No, boob job!
Her toucan beak serves
Well to pick the pieces of
Baclava in beard.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Old man and the sea
Sailed the mighty ocean blue
On board bleeth’s fake tits
– Magnum Douche P. I.
Sepsis has run wild.
Starting there from his right arm.
It’s poo in bloodstream.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Smile when I say “SKANK!”
Oblivion is a fake rack
In a douchebag’s hands.
– troy tempest
At the wrap party
For “Anal Adventures Six”
Sound guy meets the star
– Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Sue used the razor
For poolside groin shave reveal
Jim sports face merkin
– Dude McCrudeshoes
An old silent pond…
Douche and bleeth jumps in the pond,
splash! Silence again.
– Doucheywallnuts
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Behold Rocker Todd:
Knows how to make barre chords, but
Can’t put on a shirt
Glenn Danzig Old Bag
Instead of singing “Mother”
Brings her to next gig.
– Douche Wayne
Leather, mesh, hair, dirt
Reminiscent of one thing
My bathtub’s drain hole
– Justin
Hercules, Xena
Have seen better days than this
Now battle the herp
– Dude McCrudeshoes
It places the shirt
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Her skin hose.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ratt. Jackyll. Great White.
Best animal names taken.
Meet Marmoset.
– Baron Von Goolo
Yeah, I’d tap that hott.
I’d flop like a fish in nets.
Freeing butterfly!
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
twenty-six reds and
a bottle of wine should take
care of Rocker Todd
– Douche Springsteen
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New movie being shot,
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pear,
Director calls, “pooch!”
This is the only
tiger that Siegfried and Roy
would be afraid of.
– Douche Wayne
Modern Art eats my
Mind. My mind wants to eat the
Modern Art. Mother?
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I am not quite sure
How to ask this question now
but tiger’s tongue, where?
– Master Pee
It puts the whiskers
Horror film or comedy?
Hose again. Skin hose.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
^Damn you, Reverend…I can’t stop laughing… -DarkSock
If this faux tiger
Sticks out its tongue or roars
That’s it, I’m leaving
– saulgoode42
This is the first time
A wild animal has
Given me boners
– Doucheywallnuts
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Nathan Explosion
Cartoon dude with Cartoon bleethes…
Metalocalypse!
It’s not the size of
the wand, but the magic in
it. He shoots blanks, too.
– Wheezer
From the Depths of Hell
Comes Vapid, Shallow Creature
Welcome,Trust-Fund Tool
– Bag em, Tag em
By the power of
Greyskull, I command you to
*****-**** all night.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Hey, wanna party
on my tour bus?” It’s yellow,
has only five rows
– Wheezer
chest bombs can’t be stopped
only hope to contain them
Hello Kitty poke
– SonnyChibaChoad
Gene Simmons Jr.
Wears guyliner because he
Doesn’t have dad’s tongue
– The Dude
Darth Commodicus
Senses disturbance, those aren’t
Boobs, they’re space stations
– Dude McCrudeshoes
Balloon Squeak Popouts
Hey! There’s nuthin’ wrong with that!
‘Cept, the center douche.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I caught the VD
From looking at this picture
My wife says, “Yea Sure!”**
– Doucheywallnuts
Chongo Bonobo
Has fallen from ugly tree
And hit every branch
Dispeptic TattBag
Bored with the the club scene acts cool
Mom still makes his bed
– Vin Douchal
Blaine/Angel poser.
Abra-abra-ca-dabra!
Lesions, now appear!!!
– Baron Von Goolo
**“Yea Sure”, she says
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Mad scientist’s lab,
Crimes against humanity;
Douche clones rock sweet chaps…
Doublemint gum gig
Ends for Rainbow Douche Quartet
Can Schnapps now sponsor?
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Chance of twins is low.
Chance of finding those clothes twice
Mission Indouchable.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Hi, Americans!
We are shagging well these, eh?
You are jealous of.
– saulgoode42
This pic is either:
World’s ugliest quadruplets,
or four ugly dudes.
– hermit
Douchebag petri dish
Geddy Lee sample mixed in
Fertilized goat goo
– Vin Douchal
John Daly called. He
wants to know if he can buy
His pants back from them.
– The Dude
A midget sandwich
Is always unappealing
Even with bleeth bread
– Doucheywallnuts
do I see double?
perhaps I folded paper
before wiping ass
– creature
Lithuanian
Hair band can still pull groupies
And steal their chokers
– Choad the Douche Sprocket
Doctor Mengele
Tried his best and succeeded
Says now, “I’m Sorry!”**
– Doucheywallnuts
Can’t decide what’s worse
Casino carpet clothing
Or R.E.O. hair dos
– Mr. Scrotato Head
** “sorry”, he says
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Hark! Beldar ConeHead
Consuming mass quantities
Of Goose and Valtrex
Frank will demonstrate
With Kim his new “Butt Juicer”
Sit and spin on head
– saulgoode42
Vegas offers odds
That bandana hides bald spot
Even money bet
– Charles Nelson Douchely
Bandana covers
odd dome, pinstripe suit hides moobs
Bleeth hides dad issues
– Capt. James T. Douche
Pinky’s dress so short
another inch and the world’s her
gynecologist
– SonnyChibaChoad
With no money left
After buying watch. Brett quit the
Rogaine. Wears bad lamp.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The message is clear
This douchebag needs an ass punch
An ass punch, I says
– Doucheywallnuts
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Every one of us
Has a little douche in them;
Including these girls.
A midget sandwich
Is always unappealing
Even with bleeth bread
– Doucheywallnuts
Banishment from the
Lollipop Guild turned Herman
to the douchey side.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Asian Jill is blazed
Pam’s clearly drunk; while Jim’s like,
“Where my shorties at?!”
– saulgoode42
wee man’s pick up line:
“I was an ewok, baby”
blondie thinks, “why not?”
– Douche Springsteen
Somewhere in the scaffolds
Johnny Knoxville prepares to
Let go a brown shower.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
At the Star Wars Wrap
Ewoks go Berserk with Booze!
There was just one pint.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
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Jan reached the sink sponge,
When they put the Cuisinart
In her Freezer tray
Human centipede
Created by douche brothers
Largeman calls police
– ehcuodouche
douchebags and bleethskank
attempt the hokey pokey
after huffing glue
– troy tempest
Horrendous douchebags
Can’t quell my massive boner
Sapphic power rules**
– Doucheywallnuts
**rules, he says
What Is love? thinks the
Roxbury twins. Bleeths could care
less as hand starts groping.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
one out of five youths
overdose on alcohol
one down four to go
– the ‘bag apple
The Bleeths cluster bang
Douches gesture stupidly
Societal loss
– Capt. James T. Douche
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