Friday Haiku

    Friday, February 21, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    112015

    Herpes got you down?
    Try the new Valtrex™ RashStash™!
    The Patch on your Patch!

    Pale skinny Meghan
    looks on from behind glasses
    jealous of Pam’s man.

    – Douche Wayne

    This party smells of
    Ball cheese and bad decisions
    Valtrex stock to soar

    – Capt. James T. Douche

    Spinner’s got the bloat
    Since the gyroscope was put
    In her Monkey Hole

    – The Reverend Chad Kroeger

     

    Spring Break is coming
    Soon these two abstrosities
    Will look so orange.

    – The Dude

    They’ve got two tickets
    to Paradise. Watch out south
    NV, here they come!

    Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

    It puts the card in
    The basket or it get’s the
    Hose. The foot long hose.

    – The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    The ghost of Lenin
    Weeps uncontrollably for
    Proletariat

    – DoucheyWallnuts

    Jen’s sister Amy
    looks on from behind. “Yeah, I
    am the pretty one”

    – Magnum Douche P. I.

    Blortz twins’ fake IDs
    Although not necessary
    For a high school dance

    – Vin Douchal

    Girls Gone Wild guy
    who said, “Show your tits!” should’ve
    been more specific

    – Morbo

    “G-Stop Raw” has the
    same initials as “Groin Shave
    Reveal”;  both senseless.

    – Wheezer

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, February 14, 2014

    Valentine’s Day Haiku

    unnamed (7)

    As they couch-flounce here,
    Jenna Jameson looks on
    Disapprovingly.

    Or…

    On Valentine’s Day,
    Cupid, draw back your bow, and
    Pin them to this couch.

    Randy deals cocaine
    A lot, lot lot of cocaine
    And his clients suck

    – saulgoode42

     

    Douche doppelgänger
    Same end as Phil S. Hoffman
    Too soon to make joke?
    — THEONETRUEDOUCHE

    They don’t do drummers
    Since the gyroscope was put
    In their Monkey holes.
    — The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Asian girls bookend
    Big legged blonde in middle
    Want her bro to scram
    — Vin Douchal

    This pic makes me wish
    Cupid shot a flamethrower
    Instead of arrows
    — hermit

    Gregg Allman bloated
    From liver transplant and booze
    Still can pull the Hotts
    — DoucheyWallnuts

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, February 7, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    17012

    He is gaseous
    In his assius, like Clay
    Who is Cassius.

    Groundhog sees shadow
    Winter of our discontent
    Lasts until Spring Break

    – The Dude

    Tiger-print Trunks Tool
    Transgendered Thai Tat-Trollop
    Tuberculosis

    - Bag Em Tag Em

    Alex, I will take
    “leeches on our economy”
    for the two hundred

    – Magnum Douche P.I.

    There are a lot of
    Turds in the pool today, where
    Is Bill Murray at?

    - Capt. James T. Douche

    Tattooed detritus
    In poolside underbelly
    Create Hell on Earth

    – DoucheyWallnuts

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, January 31, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    DB4019

    Hirsute Love Buddha
    Lurks the dorm halls, threatens to
    drop the hose towel.

     

     

     

     

     

    Squirt the Pert, Joey!
    Squirt that Pert, dude, Squirt that Pert
    C’mon, squirt the Pert

    – saulgoode42

    Worse than the “Friend Zone”
    Goofy Greg has zero game
    Placed in “Palcatraz”

    – Bag Em Tag Em

    Call me Ishmael
    Is the start of Moby Dick
    Just call this guy dick

    – DoucheyWallnuts

    Jan Goodall’s latest
    experiment on silver
    douchebacks going strong.

    – Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

    Poor dorm girl Jenny
    Posting flyers for lost cat
    Obese Yeti purrs

    – purpledrank

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, January 24, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    unnamed (17)

    Gurn really liked Pam,
    But her chest area was
    A little pasty.

    Pasties for Fester
    Since the gyroscope was put
    In her Monkey Hole.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

     

    Lately Joy has been
    Looking a little pasty
    Good thing Tim eats paste

    - saulgoode42

    the stairwell party
    always sounds like fun until
    fur coat guy shows up.

    - Dickie Fingers

    Dad of Asian Hott
    Has one thing to ask you all…
    “Seppuku for me?”

    - MC 900 Foot Douchebag

    Does fur lined hat match
    drapes? Or does her carpet match
    his bald cranium?

    - Douche Wayne

    Medical fact: She
    totally has the wrong kind
    of Bra allergy.

    - Charles Douchewin

    Guessing their Christian
    Mingle profiles had a few
    fibs. Neither cares much.

    - Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

    It’s so cold outside
    Her nipples turned purple-ish
    And started to ooze

    - DoucheyWallnuts

    Confucious has said
    Man who serves gal from behind
    Gets poo poo platter

    - Bag Em Tag Em

    Pam has a heart on
    In all of the wrong places
    Including her butt

    - Mr. Scrotato Head

    ehcuodouche said…
    If his head gets cold.
    She can put pasties on it
    That will keep me warm

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, January 17, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    unnamed (5)

    Brett learned a lesson:
    Don’t let pine pollen get in
    Your cocaine supply.

    These are not the Clowns
    you’re looking for. These are not
    the clowns anyone…

    - Charles Douchewin

     

     

    Up your nose with a
    Rubber hose, said Fonzie. Don’t
    Know what he’d say here.

    - DoucheyWallnuts

    Beaker’s new gig at
    rhinoplasty got results.
    He won’t stop “meeping”.

    - Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

    She dates the Bozos
    Since the gyroscope was put
    In her Monkey Hole.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Thinks he’ll get lucky
    Sure, they wear the pink balls now
    Soon he’ll wear blue ones

    - Vin Douchal

    With his nose so bright
    Rudolph will guide his meat sleigh
    Into her crab trap.

    - Crucial Head

    It puts the septum
    in the bucket or it gets
    deviated hose.

    - Douche Wayne

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, January 10, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    1395983_386917391410790_2075199517_n

    Kate and Jon were pleased;
    The Constipati-Push diet!
    Their abs? Bowel-Ripped!

    Jon’s goal was simple:
    Find a girl who has the guts
    To tolerate him

    - saulgoode42

    On a winter’s morn
    They embrace the cold and write
    their names in the snow

    - Charles Nelson Douchely

     

    Kate and Jon are shocked
    To learn their bad case of crabs
    Has gone systemic

    - Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

    She grates cheese on abs
    Since the gyroscope was put
    In her Monkey Hole.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    This pic explains the
    world’s Velveeta cheese shortage:
    these two practicing.

    - Douche Wayne

    In missionary
    position, these two sound like
    a steam train braking.

    - Douche Wayne

    They mate like crickets.
    Abs rub occasionally
    Start forest fires.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    In missionary
    position, their sex smells like
    driving with e-brake.

    - Douche Wayne

    In missionary
    Position they look like
    A fiddler crab.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    In missionary,
    they generate power to
    run a Chevy Volt.

    - Douche Wayne

    In missionary
    Positiion they fuse with
    UV machine.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Later that day Kate
    delivered her baby, shot
    about thirty feet

    - Dickie Fingers

    When she bends over
    she makes same snapping sound as
    lighting up glowstick.

    - Douche Wayne

    Kate and Jon prove that
    navel gazing gets results!
    Let’s check abs again!

    - Charles Douchewin

    It must eat grain. It
    Must eat grain. It must eat grain.
    It must eat grain. Sons.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, January 3, 2014

    Friday Haiku

    StacheMan

    So proud of her catch…
    Trish, you do not understand
    What that mustache means.

    Groucho Marx just called
    From beyond the grave. He wants
    His mustache back. Son

    - DoucheyWallnuts

     

     

    Caterpillar ‘stache
    Has one million tiny legs
    Marie has two boobs

    - Vinegar and Water

    Wow, Geraldo’s son
    Sure can pull the hotts. Too bad
    he prefers the boyz.

    - The Dude

    He charges a buck
    for “mustache rides.” She charges
    three hundred per hour

    - Magnum Douche P. I.

    The age old question.
    “Is that your face or are you
    Snorting a Sharpie.”

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Jill recoils from Juan
    his New Years Dirty Sanchez
    may last forever

    - creature

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Friday, December 27, 2013

    Friday Haiku

    FridayHaiku4

    Great Odin’s Raven!
    Party Thor’s veggie diet,
    Tastes like peach glitter.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, December 20, 2013

    Friday Haiku

    PIC DELETED

    Hey, Look – it’s Douche Punk.
    He’s up all night to Get Some;
    All night, Spanks Monkey.

    She hired a Ninja
    Since the gyroscope was put
    In her Monkey Hole.

    - The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Tila Tequila
    Took t!ts out, dates a robot
    Has hit rock bottom

    - DoucheyWallnuts

    Helmet hides the shame
    he feels all over his face.
    Shame and lip herpes.

    - Jacques Doucheteau

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    # posted by DarkSock
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