Friday Haiku
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Friday, March 2, 2012
- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
- 60 comments
- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
- 55 comments
- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
- 56 comments
- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
- 65 comments
- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 7:10 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 6:45 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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- @ 6:45 AM
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- @ 7:00 AM
- Categories: Friday Haiku
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Friday Haiku
Michael Bay – King Douche
Pitches concept to Tyson:
“Mike’s Wong Wife Choithes”
Her hair’s gone afro
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Interracial date
In bizarre love triangle;
John Largeman is watching.
– Douche Springsteen
Number one salesman
At Vegas Bling convention
Wins Mike “Meet and Greet”
– Vin Douchal
Mike Tyson’s next bout
Wynn’s All You Can Eat Buffet
He’ll be champ again
– Magnum Douche P.I.
Baybag blows shit up
Tyson bag blows career up
Douchery never ends
– Capt. James T. Douche
“To Wong Fu, With Love
Needed way more explosions!”
Cocaine-ramble-mouth.
– Douche Wayne
Mike was wife-beater,
can we hope he becomes a
douche beater as well?
– Morbo
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The gals were all so
Excited by Vinnie’s crabs…
Until they caught them.
BP CEO
Poses on Gulf vacation
“This tastes so oily . . .”
– Douche Wayne
I can’t hate this guy
he’s old and just wants seafood
with a side of hott
wait, I changed my mind
did not see his six pound watch
tonight, dine IN HELL
– Douche Springsteen
Saggy balls and crabs
Fat wallet, Jersey accent
Golddigging Bleeths win
– Capt. James T. Douche
Short sold Enron stock
Living the dream in Tampa
Still fat, bald, ugly
– Vin Douchal
Macy Gray Can’t sing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ugly with money,
Fresh young Vagina they have,
Match made in Heaven.
– ASvB, aka Yoda
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Sheen head and Christ crotch,
Sophie’s Mayan Eye beckons,
God punishes all.
Oh Christ on a crotch
Victoria’s secret is
Wayne Rooney troll doll
– ehcuodouche
Her head points to West
Since the gyroscope was put
In his monkey head.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jill lost her eyebrows
Not to worry; Bob shaved his
And loaned them to her
– saulgoode42
She’s just waiting for
showing of “Brokeback Mountain”
on douche’s forehead.
– Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Geometric styles
Fractal swirls and squares in black
That’s lost on these two.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Druish Vespa Hott
Her boobies have gone to plaid
Lord Helmet giggles.
– douche wayne
scribble shirt douche poo
bald head stuck in tanning bed
Sophie’s globes shine through
– SonnyChibaChoad
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Better watch out, Girl…
Urinal Lotta Trouble.
I’d pee in her butt.
Hair from a bottle.
Clothes courtesy of the nearest
Tuxedo Junction.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Blow job now finished
She wonders how big a tip
Dickhead’s gonna pay
– Wedgie
Shelly contemplates
Existential dilemma;
Puke in sink or floor?
– hermit
Chad gets a pic of
latest bathroom conquest. She
ponders, “What’s his name?”
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
heroin chic chick
shoots up in the wrong bathroom
douche moves in for kill
– Douche Springsteen
Sheila contemplates
pulling out her black butt plug.
Its a Tad. Too Big.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I admire her
still trying to look sexy
in front of piss-holes
– Medusa Oblongata
I hate to be rude
but your bride is a gross skank
get a good lawyer
– Medusa Oblongata
I’ll take “Hairstyles That
Died in the Eighties” for two
hundred, Alex, please.
– UFO Destroyers
He looks plaintively
Into the midde distance
She sees cum on shoes
– McCrude
Bathroom Rondevous
Meat Curtains on Marble Tile
Scrotal Slap Echo
– Doucheywallnuts
The Smell of Stale Balls
Is it From the Urinals?
Or is it Her Breath?
– Doucheywallnuts
Hey baby, I will
Adorn you in pearls and cake
Yes, urinal cakes
– Vin Douchal
Porcelain thrones gleam
not utilized. Both the king
and queen sit to pee.
– army (ret) douche
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Mr. Jay Louis:
What’d I ever do to you?
This is so harsh, man…
Shake it off, DarkSock…
Just pull it together, Man…
*takes a deep breath, then…*
Jill always wanted
A Chaz Bono Shit Golem;
Now what, Jill? Now what???
or
Not sayin’ Jan’s dumb,
But she clearly cannot tell
Douche from Shinola.
As always, your turn
Awaits in comments section;
Lawd have mercy, Y’all…
-D.S.
Friday is a day
Relished for boobies and mock
Today I just wipe
– saulgoode42
Sad Cathy wonders,
If Al Jolson took a shit,
Would it smell this bad?
– hermit
Double Ducky Lips
Ebony and Ivory
Perfect Harmony
– Wedgie
Shoe polish is for
loafers you silly twit. Come
here, mine need a buff.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
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PIC DELETEDTodd and Linda love
casino tribute acts like
Billy Midol here.
Harpo lost his harp
Now he plays Kim’s washboard abs
Steve’s making duck soup
– saulgoode42
Billy Midol at The Sands
with Count Plate Facey
and Quincy Ab-Bones
– tall guy
Spikey haired ass clown
Douche not a douche for tall Todd?
Great abs need suckle
– Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots
Actor playing Doug
cops feel — but not on Linda!
Todd needs an adult.
– Morbo
Poor Draco Malfoy
Now making appearances
At lame fitness shows.
– DoucheyWallnuts
What’s her Secret? Well
Instead of deoderant
she uses douches.
– Nancy Dreuche
Tatum O’ still tight
Billy Corgan grows out hair
Dick Clark close to death
– Vin Douchal
That ageing douchebag
Thinks he can postpone his fate.
Hairclub for Men: Why?
– Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
She hasn’t exhaled
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
– The Reverend Meme Kroeger
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“So interesting…
What’s in his mind”, she thinks. Hey!
Let’s crack it open!
Violet No Regard
Grabs Liv Tyler. Willy
Wonka calles Grape Ape.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jeffy is happy
Tomorrow the games begin
Special Olympics
– Wedgie
Purple Hayes sings out,
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!”
Tranny says, “Zip it.”
– hermit
Jerzey Jackoffsky
wears Tinky Winky’s colors;
Jerry Falwell seethes.
– Wheezer
Novelty Douche Store
Nose and hat come with glasses
Bring your own assclown
– Vin Douchal
“classy” Bleeth parties
with retard little brother
mom made her bring him
– Douche Springsteen
The tragic hat tilt
Is worse than purple jacket
And the tranny’s shirt
– Doucheywallnuts
She only wears rope
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey box hole
– Nepos
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Kate’s Hot Tub Findings:
Pour brown liquid in Tony,
Brown liquid poops out.
jet of hot water
prep for colonoscopy-
new use for hot tub.
– Troy Tempest
Kate’s favorite drink
Combo in the hot tub is
Always “Jack and Cocck”
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Seems there is a use
for handlebar mustaches;
foothold to drown douches.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Filthy, dirt-smudged bleeth,
Asks, “What would Jack Daniels do?”
Make him bearable.
– hermit
Drunken Hottub Nights
Skanks above the Vegas Hills,
This tub needs a flush.
– Mandouchian Candidate
Mustache rides are free
But are they really? Depends
On where you get off
– Jeff Nancy Dreuche
A young Rip Taylor
with his first girlfriend ever
this is why he’s gay
– Medusa Oblongata
Adding whisky to
greasy handlebar mustache
makes for toxic soup
– army (ret) douche
Part-time pool boy knows
Customers are out of town
Raids ‘fridge, fouls hot tub
– Vin Douchal
Salvador douch-i
Lusts for Anna’s paint pot, but
Clocks aren’t all that droop
– Mr. Scrotato Head
Captain Jack gets high
on own supply while bleeth gets
tgrease stains on left arm
– soy bomb
Kate never get spins
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
– Nepo
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Hey guys! It’s Rave Night
In the basement over at
RubberyJohnny’s house!
They Live! Musical
National Tour Company
Where’s Roddy Piper?
– SonnyChibaChoad
Rubber Johnny has
Cult following. These are the
Children Of The Porn
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Post Apocalypse
No more credit card bill, bro!
The Walking Deadbeats
– Mr. Scrotato Head
All eyes are ablaze
Why are the chicks bent over?
Burning pickle-slits.
– hermit
Undead shoplifters
Celebrate victory at
Salvation army
– Dude McCrudeshoes
They all looked into
The Ark Of The Covenant
when Indy said “don’t”
– Medusa Oblongata
All your hair products
They are belonging to us
Douche and bleeth zombies
– Hong Kong Douchey
Too much irony
here to make sense. Douche zombies
have no need for brains.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Loading ...New Years Haiku
The casino band
For New Year’s Eve Party is
“Death Crabs for Cuties”
Tri-Lambdas’ revenge
not against Alpha Betas
this time, but parents.
– Wheezer
Pasties on Ta-Ta’s
Tends to lead to morning wood.
But ‘Bags are termites
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
So, you want band names?
Skanks nips decorated by
A Flock of Sea Gulls.
– hermit
At Tropicana
“Bring A Douchebag Get In Free”
We’re set for a week
– Vin Douchal
andom chump takes pic
of slut machines where he lost
all his life savings.
– Wheezer
Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
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