Hawk

    Wednesday, February 19, 2014

    The Human Tourch Drops a Deuce

    unnamed (1)

    This Vegasian morality tale just took a turn towards stinky finger.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, February 19, 2014

    The Human Torch

    unnamed

    Remember really douchey spikey hair?

    Still out there.

    Still silly like commando chipmunk.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 17, 2013

    Hawktoberfest

    1381854_681720548507798_1390066426_n

    The ‘Hawk soars.

    The ‘Hawk sores?

    Like an eagle.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 16, 2013

    Pomping Irene

    17487_531442026891956_583143550_n

    Elvis? More like El-MISS!!

    Ha!

    Ahaha!!

    Ahaha…

    heh…

    (ahem)

    So, where you all from?

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, September 24, 2013

    Halfpipe McFaux Thinks its 2008

    Banned-from-the-Lollipop-Guild

    He’s sure that his wacky DJ/Bar-Mitzvah circuit for dancing hiphop clowns will take off one of these days.

    For now, don’t think of it as investing in a flailing enterprise that misfiled its S-corp returns for the past three years resulting in an audit and a seizing of all future assets.

    Think of it as funding a dream.

    Average Sophie doesn’t hold up the HC side of this equation, but what the hell, I got spittle on my shirt.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, August 13, 2013

    And Then There Are ‘Bags With Hair Like This

    Ruin D Mensroom

    Bonus points to the first person to correctly identify the national flag depicted in this douche hawk.

    When Dimple Diedre tells the rest of the sorority girls about her spring break, she will excessively use the word “amazeballs.”

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, July 17, 2013

    Cassie Finds a Somnambulant Carrot

    80

    If you plant it, Cassie, it’ll grow into a somnambulant carrot tree!!

    That smells like bodyspray and sauteed liver.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, July 15, 2013

    Kelly Does Not Have a Fun Day

    Funday Hawk

    Kelly’s creeping sense of ennui makes her wonder if a centralized Spinozian morality is still possible in a Kantian destabilized and subjective ethos.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, June 26, 2013

    Pukeface McAsshole McSucksalot McIhatethisguy

    Fugly Taco

    Even the Bleethy Ed Hardy wearing barely legal Bleethette cannot mitigate my contempt for Pukeface McAsshole McSucksalot McIhatethisguy.

    For his is the mediocrity of which nugat draws its strength from.

    And yes, I know what you’re thinking. Nugat is delicious.

    It is.

    But nugat is still just mass produced generi-toffee. And while it gives both Twix and Snickers its bursts of joy, it still draws from a well of assembly line suckage. And so the analogy stands, even if Nugat is delicious.

    That’s my argument and I’m sticking to it.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, May 16, 2013

    Bad Fro Days

    photo (6) (1)

    We’ve all had ‘em, Kenny the Engineer and Part Time Roadie for rising hip-hop supergroup “B12 In Yo’ Azz” (they’re big in Belgium and France).

    So hells, I’m inclined to give you a nottadouche and a goinpeace.

    Stephanie, I’d like to see you behind the amp highrise in section 12. We have business to discuss.

    And by business, I mean my pouring crumbled saltines and melted pop rocks into your sensible-but-stylish Sketchers, swirling them with purple drink, and then guzzling the whole thing while moaning in post-priapic pre-orgasmic ecstasy like a confused wildebeest that lost its bearings during northern hunt.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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