Legs

    Thursday, March 28, 2013

    “The Meatmosians in the Land of Leg Suckle”

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    Man, I loved that Piers Anthony novel when I was a kid.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, March 5, 2013

    Eighteen Quality Leg Suckles + Four Jabronis

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    Divide by the coefficient of inefficient coeds, factor in the power of Pi, and the remainder is multiple division.

    Yup.

    Math humor.

    Coffee time.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, February 28, 2013

    Hand Gesture Harold Almost Got Away With It

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    Hand Gesture Harold had it. Smokin’ Sophia. In pic form.

    HGH’s “boyz” on the Facebook would be all sorts of jealous. No one tapped this level of hott back during the Fordham law school days.

    It was his for the takin’.

    All he had to do was show up.

    But no.

    The appeal of sideways peace sign (SPS) was too much to resist.

    And so, Hand Gesture Harold, here is your Douche Crown.

    Like a useless old fogey living off past glory, you will remember this day for the next forty years as your life slips into irrelevancy.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, January 25, 2013

    Friday Bonus Haiku (ultra-rare missing one-half of site’s mission statement edition)

    id wipe my schwantz on her drapes son

    Check out this dame’s stems…
    Her legs go up to her neck;
    Wrap around you twice…

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    # posted by DarkSock
    Monday, January 7, 2013

    Collective HCwDB

    sdfsdfFor those of you who have been putzing around these holidays and had the temerity not to check in with HCwDB for the past few weeks, there’sa changes afoot in these here parts.

    The douche mock is going multiperspectorial.

    By this I mean some of the bestest and funniest of the regualrs in the comments threads will be contributing thoughts, rants, and assorted sundries on semi-regular and hopefully regular basis.

    And of course I’ll still be mockin’ in true DB1 style.

    Coming up shortly, the very first of the most anticipated column since construction began on the Parthenon, “Ask Rev. Chad.”

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Sunday, December 30, 2012

    New Years Rockin’ Pear

    HappyGuy

    Happy Guy Says Happy New Pears!!

    They may be artificially bronzed to the point of Bleeth, but they can still be squeezed.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    BroRandy Tatts a Tribute to Walter Benjamin

    BroRandy’s Last Angel describes the witness to history left behind in the subaltern absences of hegemony.

    Amanda’s taut suckle thighs offer choral harmonies of ecstatic gnostic revelations. Like the ancient Sanskrit warlords of Kuudu, I fondle and pokey prod my way to revelation through the sins of antiquity.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, August 31, 2012

    Where’s Douchelegs?


    Somewhere in this pic of…

    Oh who gives a crap where douchelegs is.

    I would suckle and grope my way through a mound of uncooked raisinbread challah dough while blindfolded with an ancient Mayan dishrag while slapping my upper posterior with a gel encrusted fly swatter just for the chance to triple thigh bongo each of these pooch spackles after arranging them in chronologically descending Ms. Clairol hair dye color order. Then I would rub softly on Stripped Bikini Kayla’s belly pooch and lower back thigh with mint juleps and a faded doily. And then I would make them kick me with their legs like an S&M version of the Rockettes while whimpering and crying out for an answer to Fermat’s Last Theorem.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, July 25, 2012

    Carlos Grabs Some Sun Pear

    Unlit cigarette doucheface in presence of bobble fondle spackle jump glute chew-toy schnoodle humpy hump is just no way to wake up in New York on a Wednesday.

    Yup, your humb narrs is back in Gotham. Alcohol will be imbibed. East Village hotties will be stalked. Luke’s Lobster lobster rolls will be consumed.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, April 26, 2012

    Keyser Shmoeze

    And like that… he was a douche.

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    # posted by douchebag1