Miami
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Monday, May 6, 2013
- @ 2:29 PM
- Categories: Miami
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- Categories: Miami
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- Categories: Miami
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- Categories: Boobies, Miami
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Silver Harold’s Night Out
Champagne and blow may be one way to bring in the Party Woo Hotts of Miami Beach.
But champagne and blow don’t got nuthin’ on Silver Harold’s eyebrow dye.
Loading ...Howlin’ Woof
Stupid necklaces at the beach, kids.
It may not be puka shell.
But it smells just as stenchuously like the Coney Island Whitefish that wash ashore Miami Beach after high tide on a Thursday.
Giggle Gina’s heaving bosoms are crushed beneath the cultural taint.
Loading ...Meaty the Sandcrab Makes a Wish, Becomes a Douchebag, Finds Kelly
…and they lived happily after after.
Or at least until the magic Bacardi ran out, the parking tickets turned into a summons, and the groin rash turned a disturbing shade of purple.
All this, and more! In the long-lost unabridged Aesop’s Fable, “Meaty the Sandcrab And The Magic Lip Herp.”
Loading ...Benzino and Rich Girl Rachel are Not Impressed by the HCwDB of the Week
Time to pump it out.
Loading ...Mongor Not Like Brussell Sprouts
Mongor.
Emotionally dead to the world since 2006.
Sophie Pillowbottom. All that is righteous in Guadalcanal.
Loading ...Toxic Soup
A water sample sent to the CDC on 10/02/2012 reported back the following:
———–
Water — 38%
DNA — 11%
Puke — 9%
Poo — 8%
Saliva — 7%
Reproductive body fluids – 6%
Body fluids with the herp – 6%
Body hair — 5%
Jack Daniels – 3%
Cheap-ass Beer — 2.5%
Bits of hair grease –2.1%
Assorted sundry butt flecks — 0.9%
A rubber frog – 0.7%
The last shred of Cathy’s dignity — 0.1%
——-
Loading ...Yankee McSpankee wants Andrea to Yankee his McWankee
That’s nothing, wait’ll he shows her his A-Rod.
Aaaaand, Yankee jokes for the loss.
Loading ...Lime Johnson Says “Spike!”
The Leah Sisters, representing 70% of the under-25 indigenous female population in greater Ft. Lauderdale, giggle, pout, and go to Sizzler for lunch.
EDIT: There was a bug in the new spam filter that was deleting tons of comments, apologies for that. It should be fixed, give it a whirl, and drop an email to your humble narrator if problems persist.
Loading ...Moses McJesus Heals the Sinners
And by heals the sinners, Adonai means smokes a spliff, borrows twenty bucks from his aunt Rachel, blows it on scratch tickets and a Slurpee, and spends the day lounging by the pool, bothering Mary, and avoiding a summons for an unpaid parking ticket.
It’s in Fluke 4:20. It’s a lesser known Bible passage. Like that story on off-track betting in the Himalayas, I’m sure you’ve been following it.
Loading ...The DB1 Spewcharts
Let me recap my last five minutes.
I enjoyed two tasty Hostess HoHos with a glass of milk. Seeing as Hostess may be bankrupting their tasty snack cakes into the dustbin of history, I have been doing double-duty on my processed treat consumption.
Then I viewed this pic.
And immediately spewcharted HoHo crumbs, milk, and drool across my computer, accompanied by the noise, “Baloggooo.”
What’s a “spewchart”? It’s like a shart and a spit-take mixed into one. But only if it causes you to say “Baloggoo” in process.
That’s what douchetatts, hand gesture, and a picture of American rot’ll do to a guy’s post lunch mid-afternoon snack cake break.
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