Miami

    Wednesday, February 12, 2014

    Spray-Z Is a Giant Ball of She-Leech

    40712_414815751221_2696042_n
    And if you have to ask what a Giant Ball of She-Leech is, I point you no further then the Turtle Leeches of Mexico.

    Okay, so I got a late start on updating the site today. I was out all night doing crazzzzy things. Like what? Like… uhm… okay. This.

    Cuz I’m crazy like that.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, January 29, 2014

    Drunk Al Goes “Garrrrr!” on Quartasian Mina

    unnamed (8)

    “Garrrrr!”

    When “I like your boobies!” is too difficult to pronounce.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 3, 2013

    Che Douchevara

    CheDouchevara

    One of the central components of ‘Bag Culture is the cooption of the authentic in service of the market economy.

    Postmodern images shorn of the originary context and employed in service of ironic bottle-service distancing leads only to primordial cries of “Woo!” that reject the very premise of language as a tool of liberation.

    And so we see Che.

    Revolutionary Che.

    In the dance club.

    And so it goes in the neo-neo-Marxian dance floor circus. Po-tee-weet.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, May 6, 2013

    Silver Harold’s Night Out

    photo (28)

    Champagne and blow may be one way to bring in the Party Woo Hotts of Miami Beach.

    But champagne and blow don’t got nuthin’ on Silver Harold’s eyebrow dye.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, February 14, 2013

    Howlin’ Woof

    HowlinWoot

    Stupid necklaces at the beach, kids.

    It may not be puka shell.

    But it smells just as stenchuously like the Coney Island Whitefish that wash ashore Miami Beach after high tide on a Thursday.

    Giggle Gina’s heaving bosoms are crushed beneath the cultural taint.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, January 28, 2013

    Meaty the Sandcrab Makes a Wish, Becomes a Douchebag, Finds Kelly

    382009_515309168487224_1794117612_n

    …and they lived happily after after.

    Or at least until the magic Bacardi ran out, the parking tickets turned into a summons, and the groin rash turned a disturbing shade of purple.

    All this, and more! In the long-lost unabridged Aesop’s Fable, “Meaty the Sandcrab And The Magic Lip Herp.”

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, November 26, 2012

    Benzino and Rich Girl Rachel are Not Impressed by the HCwDB of the Week

    Time to pump it out.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, November 15, 2012

    Mongor Not Like Brussell Sprouts

    Mongor.

    Emotionally dead to the world since 2006.

    Sophie Pillowbottom. All that is righteous in Guadalcanal.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 4, 2012

    Toxic Soup

    A water sample sent to the CDC on 10/02/2012 reported back the following:

    ———–
    Water — 38%
    DNA — 11%
    Puke — 9%
    Poo — 8%
    Saliva — 7%
    Reproductive body fluids – 6%
    Body fluids with the herp – 6%
    Body hair — 5%
    Jack Daniels – 3%
    Cheap-ass Beer — 2.5%
    Bits of hair grease –2.1%
    Assorted sundry butt flecks — 0.9%
    A rubber frog – 0.7%
    The last shred of Cathy’s dignity — 0.1%
    ——-

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, September 20, 2012

    Yankee McSpankee wants Andrea to Yankee his McWankee

    That’s nothing, wait’ll he shows her his A-Rod.

    Aaaaand, Yankee jokes for the loss.

    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars
    Loading ... Loading ...
    # posted by douchebag1
Older Posts