Rockerbag

    Wednesday, October 16, 2013

    The Flobot Snags Hard Rock Heather

    61

    And the Lilliputians rejoiced!!

    I have no idea what that means.

    I fondled a kitten once.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, June 10, 2013

    Rainbolio Drops a Deuce at Coachella

    AA Degree in Slacker

    Sweet Pam, who meticulously fulfills the casting role of Hot Younger Sister of Your Best Friend in College, knows that slumming it for a weekend at Coachella won’t get back to her quasi-BF, Bob.

    That’s what she thinks.

    Turns out, Pam’s bestie, Monica, actually began dating Rainbolio’s bro, Tommy, behind the glowstick selling dude on the dirt road over by second stage.

    So Bob’s totally gonna find out by Wednesday.

    Sorry, Sweet Pam. This Deuce don’t fly.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, June 5, 2013

    The Rocky Mildly Disquieting Nightclub Show

    Chomp

    Lets do the awkward hump again…

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, April 8, 2013

    Props to the ‘Sock!!

    56

    I’m back, bitches!! Walkabout: enlightening like a Don Draper doorway. Tasty HoHos?: Consumed. Alcoholism: like a rusty steak knife cutting through a well aged steak.

    Props to the great DarkSock (not pictured) for a week well handled in driving the ole’ HCwDB bus.

    This deserves an 80s Slow clap.

    And, of course, an image of an unholy rockerscrote mugging a sweet poodle pooch hottie globble fondle.

    Also, I think I finally fixed the damn mysterious bug that was crashing the site everyday. Who knows? I’m holding this leaky ship together with duct tape and spittle at this point. But we may be operating at 100% again.

    So I got that going for me.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 20, 2013

    Why British Yobs With Bad Teeth Become Rock Stars

    Why-people-want-to-be-rockstars

    I know I talk about Rockstar Leniency Rule in service of the performative arts. But Ronnie Wood, yer ballsack is taskin’ me, man. It’s taskin’ me.

    EDIT: What’s all this, then? Apparently that’s Rod Stewart on the left as well. Piss off, ya tossers!! Nice teeth.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, December 3, 2012

    Bonro and The Ledge Struggle to Make Ends Meet in an Alternate Reality

    Ever since the failure of the 1997 demo CD, “The Josephus Tree,” Bonro and The Ledge have pieced together rent money working at various Dublin nightclubs.

    Irish Mary is not impressed.

    And by alternate reality, I mean this reality.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, September 12, 2012

    Guyliner Graham Grabs Goth Gayle

    Together, they make guacamole.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, August 22, 2012

    Breaking: Faux-Punk Manic Pixie Dreamgirl Cliche to Marry Nickelbag

    Someone’s marrying someone. This is news for some reason.

    ——-
    AVRIL Lavigne has shocked fans by announcing she’s engaged – to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger.

    The pair have only been dating for six months, after teaming up to write a song for the Canadian pop star’s new album.

    Avril and Chad – who, at 37, is 10 years older than his bride-to-be – have managed to keep their romance under wraps since meeting.

    But a spokesperson for Avril has confirmed she’s to tie the knot after the singer retweeted news of their engagement.

    The unlikely duo fell in love while working together on a tune for the singer’s upcoming fifth studio album – the follow-up to her 2011 collection Goodbye Lullaby.
    An insider told People: “A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together.

    “He makes her so happy. Both of their families could not be more excited.”
    ———-

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, August 6, 2012

    Heyzoos says “Heyyyyy!”

    Heyzoos likes Skynard, man.

    Shen-Li’s brother is at M.I.T. and no longer speaks to her.

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    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, June 6, 2012

    Trapped in a Skeezer Sandwich

    Don’t look down, Kelly!

    Those aren’t barstools poking you in the thigh!

    Yeah, I got nothin’. Too early. Stupid coffee. Not strong enough. Yet so delicious.

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    # posted by douchebag1
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