HCwD of the Week: Hand 'Bag Edition
Nothing fancy about this week’s smorgasboard, just your standard stomach churning combos of hottie and smelly douchitude.
Since Turburger’s a pro douche, we’re going with amateur hour this week. Those fumbling scrotes desperate to score and willing to put on any body spray and upturned collar to do so. White Chocolate just seemed to bum everyone out, but I gotta include this uber-tool. If he’s too depressing to get into the Christmas Douche Spirit, lets vote him out now and be done with him. Chambeshi’s nutsack, however is just too much for to ever look at again, so he’s out.
So without further ado, here are the finalists:
HCwD #1: White Chocolate
There’s something about that facial hair fungle that’s just depressing. W.C. is like a shot of anti-Prozac. He’s so douchey he makes me want to nailgun my forehead to the floor. But his hottie is sexy, and that gaze could melt icecream. So they’re included in the HCwDotW faceoff.
Yankees caps may need to be added to the ‘Bag Scoring List, especially aqua blue. WTF is that color about?
HCwD#2: Borat ‘Bag, aka Test Pattern Putz
This Borat shtick already seems dated and played. Which is too bad, as it’s a hilarious film. But if I hear one more half drunk tool at a bar make a Borat accented comment, I’m going to pound his Miller Lite in his virgeen.
So in the spirit of not being the Nth site to make lame Borat jokes, lest just call this douche and his hot popsicle “Test Pattern Putz.”
HCwD #3: Socrates Douche
Its not every day that we get to see the Founding Philosopher of Douchitude. But here he is. Featuring perhaps the oiliest forehead this side of a post regurgitated Jon Voight in “Anaconda.”
And that cleavite on pink there is positively Aristotilean.
It’s actually a pretty tough contest this week. All three are worthy entries. What say you, people?
