Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Stackhouse Only Befriends Dudes that Annihilate

HCwDB poet, Stackhouse, reacts to the influx of “friend” requests by HCwDB readers on Facebook:

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Bro come on, I just ignored 43 friend requests from dudes that don’t have 1 friend in common with me..If ur trying to get on the Stack Attack my advice would be 2 get better looking, crush some pussy that I know of, & hit me up. Im sorry but any dude on my friend log, is either family, close, or a dude that annihilates… pussy on the Reg. Sorry 🙁 step ur game up, or buy a pocket pussy
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I believe “Pussy on the Reg” was the working title for Sir Isaac Newton’s autobiography.

But since I broke the HCwDB rules for Stackhouse again, only providing a Hot Chick in a pan, have the last of your Christmas Pear.

Reddy Vedder

Yup.

New Year.

Same bloated orange Club Reds hitting on the tasty European barely legals with the sexy baby fat in the chin that calls out for the DB1 to nibble on it.

I know what you’re thinking. Reddy Vedder looks too red to be real. Must be photoshop.

Sadly, Reddy Vedder really is that color. Just like Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clarke’s corpse were last night.

Your humble narrator is carousing through the streets of New York and enjoying the snowy east coast suckle thighs, bundled up just enough to still show some curve. On Tuesday I saw Carrie Fisher’s one woman show, Wishful Drinking courtesy of HCwDB reader and stage manager of the show, Daniel, offering generous comps in appreciation for the 2009 Douchie Awards. Last night, I drank champagne, ate strawberries, stared at boobies, then awkwardly humped a lamp at 2am. Because I love lamp.

Hope all our ‘bag hunters and huntresses had DonkeyDouche-free New Years parties. The site will kick back in at full speed on Monday, with our first HCwDB of the Week of 2010. And it should be a good one.

But I’ll be sure to post at least one more poem by Stackhouse this weekend. Because I’m good like that.

Xenu Says Happy Jumpsuit New Year!

Another HCwDB legend, Hall of Scrote member and founder of the religion of Douchontology, Xenu, wants you all to have a safe, enjoyable, and chest shaven New Years Day.

The ladies appear to be coming from some cult-like ritual involving pentagrams, chanting in ancient Sanskrit, and baby oils and pillow fights.

Which is good by me.